Wedding Etiquette Forum

Monograms Question

Quick question- my man goes by his middle name, so which is more proper for our married monogram. We'll use Jane for my name and Alan John Smith for his name. Would the monogram be jSa or jSj? He never ever uses his first name. Thanks!

Re: Monograms Question

  • In the womderful world of monograms you honestly cant just decide you dont like your first name if you are going with correctness and proper use. That said is is the man's first name the lat name and then the brides first name.

    Proper would be
    aSj   but if your going non traditional it would be jSj

    Sorry I work for a bridal consulting company and monograms are constantly screwed up.
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  • If you are talking about his monogram which after re-reading the post you may be. You cannot just use his middle anme twice you would have to use the whole name and in that case it is First Name, Middle Name, Last Name.
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  • crash2729crash2729 member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited January 2012
    I go by my middle name and for anything wedding related that we're using ititals for it'll be my middle initial not my first. 

    If I used my first initial most people wouldn't get it.

    ETA:Typing/reading fail.
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_monograms-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:91d301bf-afe5-497b-817a-8f67185df6e2Post:bf34cb02-2f0f-4e65-b293-0a3aa26cfb5c">Re: Monograms Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In the womderful world of monograms you honestly cant just decide you dont like your first name if you are going with correctness and proper use. That said is is the man's first name the lat name and then the brides first name. Proper would be aSj   but if your going non traditional it would be jSj <strong>Sorry I work for a bridal consulting company and monograms are constantly screwed up.</strong>
    Posted by 1BabyFritsch[/QUOTE]

    You should probably keep that on the DL. You're technically considered a vendor.

    I was under the understanding that the bride's name/initial comes first in everything wedding related. I agree the married monogram shouldn't be used on anything until the reception, but I think the bride's initial should go first.

    As far as whether to use his first initial or middle initial, I don't know what's proper, but the etiquette police aren't going to come crashing your wedding, so in this instance I think it would be ok to go with the middle if that's what most people are going to know him by.
    image
  • My h goes by his middle name too, which can get confusing with all the wedding stuff. We avoided monograms for this reason. Well, and because he hates monogrammed stuff, no doubt due to a lifetime of confusion caused by the fact he doesn't ever use his first name.
  • IMHO, I would go with the name he is well known by.

    Vacation White Knot
  • Same problem here!
    We decided to go by his middle name because he's never gone by his first- ever. And his first and last initial are the same. He didn't understand why there was even a question about it and his mom was quite happy (since his name is the same as his father's and they are divorced).
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_monograms-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:91d301bf-afe5-497b-817a-8f67185df6e2Post:7caebe89-0141-4a41-82bb-b62066436321">Re: Monograms Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Monograms Question : You should probably keep that on the DL.<strong> You're technically considered a vendor.</strong> I was under the understanding that the bride's name/initial comes first in everything wedding related. I agree the married monogram shouldn't be used on anything until the reception, but I think the bride's initial should go first. As far as whether to use his first initial or middle initial, I don't know what's proper, but the etiquette police aren't going to come crashing your wedding, so in this instance I think it would be ok to go with the middle if that's what most people are going to know him by.
    Posted by mkrupar[/QUOTE]

    I dont mind putting it out there since the reason I am here is because I am getting married also and we all have our own wedding issues. Plus I dont own it or advertise for them at all. It's just a job for me.

    But you are correct generally the womens name dose go first but you also want to always keep the mans full name together so the monogram is the exception to the rule, sine you would be keeping his intials together.
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  • Of course I wouldn't use it until after the ceremony- it was more so a life question than an invitation question!

    He has the same name as his estranged father and his first initial and last initial are the same so I think we're going to use the middle initial for monograming. I've also read the woman's inital was to go first...but at this point it sounds like what ever goes.

    Thanks for the responses! 
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