BM question

ninaelizabeth3

Sorry if this gets long...

My FI's best friend is one of our GM.  He just had a baby with his GF and her and I have become pretty close and she's one of the few girls that I actually get along with (I'm more of a guys girl than a girly girl haha).  I've wanted to ask her to be a BM recently but haven't yet because we're 96 days from the wedding and I'm worried about coming across rude.  I was talking with my mom about it and she said given the fact that we would be paying for her dress and hair, she didn't think it seemed rude.  And she's been invited to all of our get togethers with the girls.  All of the other's have been asked (they were all asked at different times, so it's not like she missed out on some big get together dinner and is an after thought) and my MOH just ordered her dress last week.  I would have time to order hers this week if she decided she wanted to.

I've been on this board before and have received some great etiquette advice and am hoping you girls could give me some advice here.  Thanks, xoxo

dumdumfroggie

I wouldn't do it.  It seems as if you've already asked your other BMs, this makes her second string almost.

ETA.  Also, your sig is really big.

Simply Fated

You could approach it, like, "We've become so close lately and I feel like you belong up there standing by me on my wedding day as a bridesmaid."

But, really, I'd keep her as a guest or maybe ask if she oculd do a reading or something.

KatZ12345

I think if you have recently become close and would like her to stand up with you, then you should ask. She always has the option to decline if it is a time/cost issue for her. My suggestion is to get together and tell her exactly as you posted here; that you two have grown close and you have come to consider her a close friend and would love it if she'd be a part of your big day. Then it's really up to her, chances are she'll be thrilled to be standing up there with you.

LeiselEB

I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I asked my bridesmaids months apart, and it was not a problem. As long as she can get her dress in time, I don't see any reason she shouldn't be included. 

runpipparun

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bm-question-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9212abca-6f30-4359-82f4-a4a672eaf865Post:d02935ec-05c0-419c-9a9e-cc7372dcb5ee">Re: BM question</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I asked my bridesmaids months apart, and it was not a problem. As long as she can get her dress in time, I don't see any reason she shouldn't be included. 
Posted by LeiselEB[/QUOTE]

<div>Ditto.</div>

brommel

I see no problem with asking her.  Explain exactly what you've said, you've gotten close in such a short amount of time, and want her to be a special part of the day.

specialk84

I wouldn't. I picked people I know I will be close with for the rest of my life. Yes, I have some friends I became closer to during the months leading up to my wedding, but I just asked them to be guests. I figured if they weren't a big enough part of my life when I asked the others (individually, not at a big dinner or anything), they likely weren't close enough to ask later.

Also, your sig is enormous. ENORMOUS. I do not understand why you have an RSVP ticker when you shouldn't be mailing your invitations for another five to seven weeks. If you'd like to make your photo smaller (and we would thank you for that), go to the page where you edit your sig and adjust the photo width to 150 or 200. Please and thank you.

ninaelizabeth3

Thanks for the feedback!  I probably should have clarified that we went to high school together, although we weren't in the same circle but really became friends over a year ago.

Sorry about the sig.. it doesn't come up huge on my screen so I didn't realize.  I've edited it now though, so hopefully it's better!

Summer2011Bride

I probably wouldn't since you're just about 3 months away and you probably asked the other BMs a long time ago. I got to be closer friends with a girl about 4 months before my wedding because we were both BMs in a mutual friend's wedding and planned her b-party together. Then we started to hang out after the party as well.

Initially, I knew of her but wasn't much more than an acquaintance. Because we grew closer, I invited her and her H to our wedding; they were intially not on the guest list. I think inviting her as a guest is still an honor, and if you really wanted her to be IN the wedding, if you are doing readings, you could ask her to do one for you.