NWR: Inviting a guest to a public event

Hummingbird125

Hey ladies! 

I stalk your board almost daily, and I hope you can help steer me in the right direction for these two similar situations.

1) A friend invited me to to a wine-tasting event (huge event - there will be hundreds of people) that takes place this weekend. She, and a few other girls, are going there to celebrate someone's birthday (this girl who I've met a bunch of times and really like). Would it be okay for me to invite another friend of mine, since it's a public event?

2) Someone in the company I work for is organizing a team outing to a college football game next month. Everyone in our division was invited, and about 10-15 people have confirmed they'll be there. I figured it would be fine to have my boyfriend come too (the game is on a weekend, and I know he'd enjoy it), but I was planning on having him pay for his own ticket, since I think the company is paying for our tickets. I asked the guy organizing the event if I needed any specific information to get my boyfriend a ticket and he replied "Don't woryy about it, I'll just get an extra ticket!" I think he get's tickets really cheaply (or for free) since he's a former football play for this school, and a donor to the program. Was I way out of line for assuming it would be okay for my boyfriend to come? Or is it normal to bring SO's to work-related social gatherings?

Thanks for any advice in advance!

Maggie0829

Even though the first situation is a public event you probabyl still should have asked if you could bring a friend.  I am sure the person who invited you would have had no problem with it, but surprise invitees tend to get people flustered.

As for your work outing, you should have definitley asked before assuming you could bring your boyfriend.  This really wasn't a "public" event per se, this was a work outing.

For future reference never assume that you can bring a guest with you to anything.  You can always ask, but you have to respect whatever answer they give you.

OliveOilsMom

1.) I wouldn't.  It may be a public event, but it is also someone's birthday celebration. 

2.) I would ask the guy again to see how much he needs for the ticket.  Just say "I want to thank you for getting my BF a ticket to the football game.  He is really looking forward to it.  How much do I owe you for the ticket and any other costs to cover BF.

Hummingbird125

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-inviting-a-guest-to-a-public-event?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:925af311-6ee7-4fea-802f-c4a82de19bbdPost:41a57171-24ef-44ea-a44c-717545570fe9">Re: NWR: Inviting a guest to a public event</a>:
[QUOTE]Even though the first situation is a public event you probabyl still should have asked if you could bring a friend.  I am sure the person who invited you would have had no problem with it, but surprise invitees tend to get people flustered. As for your work outing, you should have definitley asked before assuming you could bring your boyfriend.  This really wasn't a "public" event per se, this was a work outing. For future reference never assume that you can bring a guest with you to anything.  You can always ask, but you have to respect whatever answer they give you.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Thanks for the adivce. As a clarification - I have not invited a friend to the first event yet. Not even sure I want to, but wanted to find out what the proper protocal would be in that situation. I will definitely ask the friend who invited me.</div><div>
</div><div>I'll have to go back in my email to see what I actually said to the event organizer when asking about my BF. I may have said something like "Would it be okay for my boyfriend to come too? How can I get him a ticket?" In that case, I still shouldn't have kinda assumed it would be okay for him to come.

</div>

Kate61487

1) is the friend who invited you hosting this birthday celebration?  If not it kinda sounds like she already is inviting add-on guests to the b-day celebration by inviting you.  If this is truly a b-day party where you'll all be together the whole time (staying in the same hotel, getting meals together, etc.) I would not invite another guest without asking the b-day girl.  If this was just "hey we're gonna be here this weekend; you should come up and maybe we'll bump into each other" then invite whoever you want.

2) I'm unclear if this is a true work-related team outing or if this is just some colleagues going to a game.  If it's a work-sponsored event then no, you shouldn't invite your BF unless they explicitly say you can (for us it's always clearly laid out - holiday party spouses can come; team dinner employees only).  If it's just some colleagues hanging out on the weekend I'd think spouses should be able to come just like if you met up for a drink after work or had a bbq or something.  The guy's reaction makes me think it's the latter; in which case I think you're fine since it sounds like it was an open invitation.

Hummingbird125

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-inviting-a-guest-to-a-public-event?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:925af311-6ee7-4fea-802f-c4a82de19bbdPost:e409d354-7b85-40ee-8a7b-75979a219f09">Re: NWR: Inviting a guest to a public event</a>:
[QUOTE]1) is the friend who invited you hosting this birthday celebration?  If not it kinda sounds like she already is inviting add-on guests to the b-day celebration by inviting you.  If this is truly a b-day party where you'll all be together the whole time (staying in the same hotel, getting meals together, etc.) I would not invite another guest without asking the b-day girl.  If this was just "hey we're gonna be here this weekend; you should come up and maybe we'll bump into each other" then invite whoever you want. 2) I'm unclear if this is a true work-related team outing or if this is just some colleagues going to a game.  If it's a work-sponsored event then no, you shouldn't invite your BF unless they explicitly say you can (for us it's always clearly laid out - holiday party spouses can come; team dinner employees only).  If it's just some colleagues hanging out on the weekend I'd think spouses should be able to come just like if you met up for a drink after work or had a bbq or something.  The guy's reaction makes me think it's the latter; in which case I think you're fine since it sounds like it was an open invitation.
Posted by Kate61487[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>1) That's kind of what I was thinking too - this event is $50 per ticket (in the city we live in, so no traveling/hotels), and she's not paying for the others who are going, so it's not really a "hosted" event, which is why I thought it would be okay for me to bring a friend.</div><div>
</div><div>2) The details of this event are pretty unclear to me, I think I should just ask some people on my team, who I'm close with, who may know more. </div><div>
</div><div>Thanks again!

</div>

Meegles4

#1 - I'm actually relatively OK with a guest in this situation. I likely would've told the person who invited me "this sounds like a lot of fun! Do you mind if I bring my friend Annie? I think she'd enjoy it"

#2 - You shouldn't have invited your BF unless the invitation expressly said SOs can be included. Work functions are not automatically SO-inclusive unless it's expressly stated. You should have asked initially "is this something I can bring my SO to" and then waited for the response before asking about tickets, etc. In my experience, if SOs are invited to a work event, the company usually picks up the cost so it's not weird to me that your co-worker offered to do that. I do think that if SOs weren't invited, the co-worker would've told you that, so you're probably in the clear, but in the future, I'd get clarity on who's invited before assuming and planning out tickets, etc.