Question about attendants' gifts

kemarino610

Okay, so I know that it's tacky (I guess that's the right word? maybe "self-serving"?) to give bridesmaids gifts that you want them to wear during the wedding, but what if they legitimately would use them again? Long story short, I have five attendants, including my MOH, and I'm having a wedding with a vague deco theme. I've been thinking of getting them gifts that somewhat reflect this, and that they COULD use, but don't HAVE to use during the ceremony/reception (a vintage cigarette case for a maid who smokes, a glitzy headband for a maid who's mad about headbands, a gilded and mongrammed bookmark for a maid who's an avid reader). I would never get any of the ladies a present that doesn't suit her, but is it tacky to get them theme-oriented gifts, or does that rule only apply if you're paying for something that is specifically related to their participation in the wedding (e.g. paying for them to have their hair done)?

LeiselEB

I think that plan sounds fine.

Simply Fated

Actually, I think your idea sounds good. I mean, you aren't requiring them to use them at or during your wedding or anything, right?

Avion22

I think it's fine, and it sounds like you've put a lot of thought into individualized gifts.   The only exception would be if you know that one of them HATES deco/vintage style, and got them a deco/vintage gift anyway.

Also?  I'd be a little peaved if I was the one who got the bookmark when someone else got a cool headband or cigarette case.  So unless she actually COLLECTS bookmarks and you are POSITIVE that she'll love it, then you may want to come up with something else for that girl:-)  Or give her the bookmark and something else.

Simply Fated

I love reading, so I'd be on board with the bookmark. Usually I just use post-its to mark my spot or the slip the library gives me with the due date on it. Having something substantial for my books would be kinda cool. I have one my mom gave me from the ACLU and of course I have a buttload of HP bookmarks, but those are just for show (omg I felt nerdy just typing that). When I was younger I used to collect bookmarks. My grandmother would get them for me from her library. Even though deco is NOT my style at all, I wouldn't mind a bookmark as a gift.
I already have a cigarette holder I love. I don't smoke anymore... so that's unfortunate.

Kate61487

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-about-attendants-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9281958b-a280-449c-b176-0311b502503dPost:31e98d82-7ab3-4607-8d4e-92ebd31a7f7b">Re: Question about attendants' gifts</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's fine, and it sounds like you've put a lot of thought into individualized gifts.   The only exception would be if you know that one of them HATES deco/vintage style, and got them a deco/vintage gift anyway. Also?  I'd be a little peaved if I was the one who got the bookmark when someone else got a cool headband or cigarette case.  So unless she actually COLLECTS bookmarks and you are POSITIVE that she'll love it, then you may want to come up with something else for that girl:-)  Or give her the bookmark and something else.
Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]

ditto all this