Thank You ?s for Shower & Bachelorette Party

ccasey621

Hi,

I had both of them in the same weekend and all the girls who came to the bachelorette party also came to the shower.  Should I send them one or two thank you cards? 

Also, how long do I have to send out Thank You notes?

Thanks!

Kate61487

Well you only need to send thank you notes for gifts - did they get you gifts at your b-party?  I think I'd send one thank you for both.  They were both wedding related gifts that you received at the same time, so I think one note is fine.  It's different than if, say, someone gave you a shower gift and a birthday gift - in which case they're two totally different events.

You generally want to get thank yous out within two weeks, the sooner the better. 

Mrs.B6302007

Normally, separate events get separate notes but being back-to-back like that, I doubt that anyone would expect two notes.  You need to do them ASAP - you're going to be bogged down with final wedding preparations and more TYs to write after the wedding.  I would try to finish them in the next few days.

whitsy

Another vote for one thank you for both events. Easier that way since they were so close together.

thurmanpowell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-you-s-for-shower-bachelorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:92ac4cda-0a3d-4def-bf8a-6569de1651d7Post:c2035add-3056-4829-84ab-88d1e78e01f4">Re: Thank You ?s for Shower & Bachelorette Party</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Well you only need to send thank you notes for gifts</strong> - did they get you gifts at your b-party?  I think I'd send one thank you for both.  They were both wedding related gifts that you received at the same time, so I think one note is fine.  It's different than if, say, someone gave you a shower gift and a birthday gift - in which case they're two totally different events. You generally want to get thank yous out within two weeks, the sooner the better. 
Posted by Kate61487[/QUOTE]


Is this the case for showers? I would think you would give everyone a thank you note for attending, even if they don't give you material gifts, they took time out of their schedule to spend time with you, give advice, etc.

I see not giving thank yous for a Bachelorette party, as it's a party, but I "thank you for attending" for a shower seems appropriate.

Kate61487

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-you-s-for-shower-bachelorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:92ac4cda-0a3d-4def-bf8a-6569de1651d7Post:a01aa49e-19c7-4a23-b2db-f12871b7ec3b">Re: Thank You ?s for Shower & Bachelorette Party</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Thank You ?s for Shower & Bachelorette Party :<strong> Is this the case for showers?</strong> I would think you would give everyone a thank you note for attending, even if they don't give you material gifts, they took time out of their schedule to spend time with you, give advice, etc. I see not giving thank yous for a Bachelorette party, as it's a party, but I "thank you for attending" for a shower seems appropriate.
Posted by thurmanpowell[/QUOTE]

Yup, showers, weddings - all the same. You always CAN send a thank you if you want, but it's not necessary.  Some people consider a thank you note without a gift to be gift grabby; like you're pointing out that they didn't give a gift. 

aragx6

I wouldn't send a thank you card to someone if they attended the shower but didn't bring a gift. Frankly because I would never attend a shower without a gift given that giving gifts is the entire point of the shower.

pkontk

I had my bachelorette party the evening after my shower, and I sent one thank you for both.

Meegles4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-you-s-for-shower-bachelorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:92ac4cda-0a3d-4def-bf8a-6569de1651d7Post:a01aa49e-19c7-4a23-b2db-f12871b7ec3b">Re: Thank You ?s for Shower & Bachelorette Party</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Thank You ?s for Shower & Bachelorette Party : Is this the case for showers? I would think you would give everyone a thank you note for attending, even if they don't give you material gifts, they took time out of their schedule to spend time with you, give advice, etc. I see not giving thank yous for a Bachelorette party, as it's a party, but I "thank you for attending" for a shower seems appropriate.
Posted by thurmanpowell[/QUOTE]

First, you could view a shower as a party as well. Just because "bachelorette party" has the word party in it doesn't mean that it's really that different.

Also, people are taking time out of their schedule to come to your wedding, and they might not bring a gift. Yet, you don't need to send a note to them to thank them for attending -- you're thanking them by hosting them at the wedding. I also see this for the shower. If someone didn't bring a gift, their "thank you" for taking time is whatever the shower host offers up as far as food, beverage and entertainment.

thurmanpowell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-you-s-for-shower-bachelorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:92ac4cda-0a3d-4def-bf8a-6569de1651d7Post:0e9694d9-1586-44c0-be7d-8fa4782ea017">Re: Thank You ?s for Shower & Bachelorette Party</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Thank You ?s for Shower & Bachelorette Party : First, you could view a shower as a party as well. Just because "bachelorette party" has the word party in it doesn't mean that it's really that different. Also, people are taking time out of their schedule to come to your wedding, and they might not bring a gift. Yet, you don't need to send a note to them to thank them for attending -- you're thanking them by hosting them at the wedding. I also see this for the shower. If someone didn't bring a gift, their "thank you" for taking time is whatever the shower host offers up as far as food, beverage and entertainment.
Posted by Meegles4[/QUOTE]


It wasn't the fact that "Bachelorette party" has the word party in it, but most bachelorette parties don't go down the same way as showers.

Or at least, I don't plan on people drinking and some debauchery at my wedding shower!

Meegles4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-you-s-for-shower-bachelorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:92ac4cda-0a3d-4def-bf8a-6569de1651d7Post:d8eb05b0-74ae-443d-9a8c-180982fa449b">Re: Thank You ?s for Shower & Bachelorette Party</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Thank You ?s for Shower & Bachelorette Party : It wasn't the fact that "Bachelorette party" has the word party in it, but most bachelorette parties don't go down the same way as showers. Or at least, I don't plan on people drinking and some debauchery at my wedding shower!
Posted by thurmanpowell[/QUOTE]

Yes but. A shower is still a party, regardless of the lack of debauchery present (which, btdubs, my bachelorette party didn't have either). Point being, it's not required to send TY notes if someone doesn't give you a gift. If you want to do it, go for it.

Mrs.B6302007

For the b-party, I did write TYs to everyone.  A few brought lingerie so I knew they would definitely get a TY but I had so many drinks shoved in my hands, by the end of the night, I didn't know which way was up or down let alone who bought me drinks or didn't.  Plus, there was a cover charge for everyone and mine was taken care of by someone/several someones.  Since everyone who went was basically spending money because of me, I wrote one to everyone thanking them for coming out and such.