Wedding Etiquette Forum

Social Unit question

It's not really relevant to me right now, but with all the talk about how social units shouldn't be split even if they've been together for 3 weeks I was getting curious. What is the etiquette for couples who get together AFTER invites have went out?

Re: Social Unit question

  • We had a few people contact us that they were in new relationships after the invitations went out.  We were fortunate to have the space and budget to be able to accommondate those unexpected guests. 

    If it's possible to squeeze in that extra date, I'd do it.  If your budget and venue space do not allow for it, I think you just explain the situation.  Since invitations go out 6-8 weeks before the wedding and most RSVPs are due 2-4 weeks before the wedding, there shouldn't be a bunch of spanking new relationships to deal with.
  • You should try your best to invite them too, but I'm sure the guest understands if you can't.

    Planning Bio
    Married 9/15/11

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  • Try to accommodate but if you can't it's okay.   

    My BIL has 33 first cousins and back in the day only those that were engaged, married or living together got a plus one.  It was the 'standard' of the family.  My sister became engaged after a set of invites went out.  At that point they could not accommondate my sister because of space, so my BIL went without her.  She didn't mind one bit because she was able to use the same 'rule' when it was time for her to get married which saved about 20 invites (they were some of the first to married in the family, those who got married later weren't so lucky because everyone was already married).






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • I got together with my now husband about 3 months before a friend's wedding.  By the time of the wedding we were living together. Either way, I was going alone but with my BFF and because it was the two of us going together 'as singles' I didn't care that he hadn't been invited. My friend never asked about him and I never mentioned as I guessed it was probably a PITA to add guests at that point (even though their RSVPs weren't due, I figured their budget was set).  But I also don't think going to a wedding alone (as long as you know at least one other person) is that big of a deal. I can also manage to sit alone at a table if my DH is up at head table, but I was single for 8 years so doing things on my own is NBD.
  • If they're not together when the invites go out (6 - 8 weeks) I think it's nice if you can accommodate them, but I don't think it's necessary to if your budget/headcount cannot handle just 1 more person.
  • If your budget allows and you have the space, you should accommodate them.  However, if you can't, it's perfectly understandable, as long as they were truly single at the time that you sent out the invitations.
  • If they haven't started dating when you send out the invites, how serious a relationship can it be a few weeks later? Basically, if you invited these people, you'd have a bunch of complete strangers at your wedding. Which I don't think is necessary. Especially if numbers are an issue. And I can't imagine why anyone would want to bring a date of someone they'd been seeing for a few weeks to a wedding...

    If someone made a big deal about it and asked you if they could bring someone cause it was really important, then you could consider the option, but otherwise, I wouldn't really worry about it.
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