Keeping my name.. Mrs. or Ms.?

jmconley08

Should I be Mrs. or Ms. mylastname? I thought you became a Mrs. when you were married but after reading a post about someone else I am now totally confused.

em01092

Mrs. means "the wife of", technically, so it sort of wouldn't make sense to go by Mrs. YourLast name, but women do it all the time. It's a way to let people know you are married even though you kept your name. I think it's up to you what you do. 

staceycaine

Ok, what if you hyphenate? Ms. or Mrs. then? Sorry to hijack the thread. Now I'M confused, too!

tenofcups4me

Mrs. does NOT mean "wife of." I don't know who on here started that nonsense, but ti's simply not true.

But that's kind of besides the point. I've heard that there is the occasional woman who keeps her own name and chooses to go by Mrs. -- but I've never met one and every woman I know who's kept her name (including myself and most of my friends) goes by Ms.

If I were addressing a married woman who kept her own name, I would use Ms. as the default unless she told me differently.

laurenclaire1386

It doesn't make one lick of difference, honestly. My mom kept her maiden name, but went by Mrs. If it helps you any, I use Ms. when I'm not sure. Ms. doesn't denote anything but gender, so it's usually the safest option.

Bron&J

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_keeping-name-mrs-ms?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:93e8b078-4bdf-47f3-b1ea-29a969445efePost:62defef0-6a4c-4776-b19e-a9953de0eb04">Re: Keeping my name.. Mrs. or Ms.?</a>:
[QUOTE]Mrs. does NOT mean "wife of." I don't know who on here started that nonsense, but ti's simply not true.
Posted by tenofcups4me[/QUOTE]

Finally.  THANK YOU!

Karen's MOH

Not to thread jack, but what about when someone hyphenates? I'd assume they are Ms. Jane Doe-Smith, but when addressing something like a Christmas card, is it Ms. Jane Doe-Smith and Mr. Smith, or can you just write the Smiths? I just addressed one to Jane and Jack (no last name) b/c I wasn't sure. 

jessicabessica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_keeping-name-mrs-ms?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:93e8b078-4bdf-47f3-b1ea-29a969445efePost:fc3d98a4-f1d9-433d-a5e1-b2c5b4d6b7ab">Re: Keeping my name.. Mrs. or Ms.?</a>:
[QUOTE]Not to thread jack, but what about when someone hyphenates? I'd assume they are Ms. Jane Doe-Smith, but when addressing something like a Christmas card, is it Ms. Jane Doe-Smith and Mr. Smith, or can you just write the Smiths? I just addressed one to Jane and Jack (no last name) b/c I wasn't sure. 
Posted by Karen's MOH[/QUOTE]

<div>I would write Ms. Jane Doe-Smith and Mr. Jack Smith, unless you know that they refer to themselves socially as "The Smiths."  Yes, it's shorter to say "The Smiths" and people probably do address them as that, but it's nice to call someone by the name they choose.  </div>

misstomrstodr

I am hyphenating but I assume that there will be times that I may be called Mrs. GroomFN Groom LN... but my legal name will be Christina Maidien Name-Married Name. If it's formal documentation, it should remain that way but as previously mentioned, socially you can be "The Smiths" if the person hyphenates.

Calypso1977

i kept my name and i go by Ms.
to me, Mrs. My Name is my mother - since she's married to Mr. MyName.

i also just really dont like Mrs.