How to deal with a friend with poor etiquette?

Kello4221

My best friend is a very selfless individual.  She hates being the center of attention, but loves doing things for others.  We are MOH in each others upcoming weddings.  My wedding is not quite 3 months before hers and she is very focused on organizing events for and offering help to me.  However, she makes it really hard to help her!

So, my dilemma is that she doesn't want a bridal shower, she wants a couples shower.  That suggestion would be fine if she wasn't planning it herself!  Couple's showers aren't common in our circle so first off the invite list is practically the entire wedding guest list, so now her and her FI are booking and paying for a fire hall to host this because they don't want to put that cost on her bridesmaids.  I know that she means well, but I'm struggling to find a way to tell her to give up control and stop planning her own events.  Getting help from the bridesmaids isn't much of an option, because two of the four girls did similar things when they were married. 

Should I continue to just let her plan this event?  It has me feeling annoyed, but it makes her happy.  I'd be much happier if I could plan my own something for her (with her input)... it's not for me though, so isn't her happiness more important?

ameliakwatson

No matter how ridiculous it gets, it really doesn't sound like she'd give up control. I'd talk to her in private, in person, and tell her how you feel.

Simply Fated

Send her here.

aragx6

Eh, as long as she doesn't come across as appearing to host the shower, I don't have all that major of a problem with this -- if I were you I would reiterate to her that you want to be the host of the event and take over as much of the planning as she'll let you, but if she wants to throw in some money quietly I wouldn't concern myself over it too much.

Summer2011Bride

I think if she really wants to put in money toward a venue, it isn't a huge deal. If you/BMs want to host it, just let her know you all would still love to host it and take over sending invitations out, listing yourselves as the hosts. No one else needs to even know who put in money for what.

Kello4221

Thanks for the insight I know she means well, but its just getting to me a little that she's picking the location and giving us one date option, etc. It's like she's planning two weddings! Plus, we would throw her a shower no matter what, but I'm of the school of thought that it isn't guaranteed and you should be grateful for whatever ya get if anything. I just wish I could do more for her, but ultimately this is what will make her happy and doesn't seem to bother the other girls.

michellemayawheeler

people have a lot of shower these days....
so give her suprise shower.....little things she would love