Ok, here is the situation in a nut shell.... My younger sister was married a few years ago, she did not ask me to be her MOH. She asked me to be a bridesmaid. I was initially upset, as were my parents, but since then have let that go. I have not held a grudge about that, nor brought it up to her since however it is relevant to the story. Now it is my turn. Despite her choice not to ask me to be her MOH I decided to ask her to be my Matron of Honor. I went back and forth on this decision but ultimately decided that just because she did not ask me didn't mean that I couldn't do the right and traditional thing by asking her. We are also very close, so that further solidified my decision. Once I made up my mind about asking her and the rest of the members of my bridal party I bought gifts for each of them and wanted to make an effort to ask each attendant in a special way despite the distance between all of us(several of us live in different states). I also choose my cousin to be my Maid of Honor(who I am also extremely close with) in addition to 4 bridesmaids. I discussed with my sister to try to find a time to meet or travel to each other's city so that I could ask her but with our busy schedules we were having a hard time finding time. She then decided to practically force me to ask her on her terms. She insisted that she felt like she wasn't special because she thought she would be the last to be asked because it would be so long until we could see each other (about a month). So, I reluctantly obliged but after all of this waiting, planning, and building excitement I was ecstatic at the thought of finally being able to surprise her with the news and ask her to be my Matron of Honor. I was positive she expected that I was going to ask her to be a bridesmaid as she had to me. I started by telling her how much I loved her and that I wanted to ask her to be my Matron of Honor. He immediate response was "Number 1 or number 2?". There wasn't any emotion or excitement from her. I was devastated by this response and didn't understand. I replied, "I have only one Matron of Honor." She then went on to explain to me that the amount of work that she does and her level of participation in the wedding is contingent upon where she stands. I am a very laid back person. I would have my girls stand in a circle all equal distance from me if I could. I never even considered anything like a ranking system and I refuse to "rank" my friends and family. I understand there must be some sort of order on the day, but I refuse to give her the "Number 1" spot by being bullied into it or to even comment on it to her because she is selfishly forcing me to put her there. I believe she is insecure and just wants to be seen by all of our family and friends as "Number 1". We are now not speaking and I'm not sure if she will even be in the wedding. I am absolutely heartbroken. Am I crazy or is it completely ludicrous for her to demand a position in our wedding and also threaten me with her lack of participation (i.e. MOH toast, bridal shower, bachelorette planning, etc)? Isn't this day supposed to be about my future Husband and I? What should I do to resolve this? I can't seem to get her to bend on this….