Wedding Etiquette Forum

Destination Wedding Etiquette

Upon completing an initial guest list and realizing how huge it was going to be, we brainstormed and thought it would actually be more affordable to do a destination wedding (Our ideal/dream destination for us would be New York City...very special meaning to us.).  Some members in our family would not be able to afford it, so we would offer to pay for flights & hotel & transportation to & from airport for our immediate family. 

I need as much info about destination weddings as possible.
1.  Are you expected to pay for travel/loding for any other guests?
2.  What other costs for guests should we be paying?
3.  Our plan was to save some $$$ and not have a 'traditional' wedding.  We'd do a quick service in Central Park, maybe a city photo tour, then all meet for a dinner at our fav. restaurant.  (no formal reception.)  We of course would pay for that dinner.
4.  Does etiquette state we have to pay for any other meals?
5.  How responsible do we need to be for the guests other free-time?
6.  If we plan a separte event, like a Yankee game, are we requred to pay for their tickets?
7.  We would do welcome/gift bags,  do we need to have a 'welcome reception'? 

I'm not trying to be cheap, I just want to do the right thing (while still saving money)...and figure out in advance if this is too much of a pipe dream..

Any help would be appreciated!!!

Re: Destination Wedding Etiquette

  • ginadogginadog member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited February 2012
    We are getting married in Jackson HOle (special to us), so I can give you my input.


    1.  Are you expected to pay for travel/loding for any other guests?
    No you are not required to pay for any travel expenses.

    2.  What other costs for guests should we be paying?
    Some say transportation to and from their hotel to venue, but I won't be.  Everyone will be getting rental cars pretty much.

    3.  Our plan was to save some $$$ and not have a 'traditional' wedding.  We'd do a quick service in Central Park, maybe a city photo tour, then all meet for a dinner at our fav. restaurant.  (no formal reception.)  We of course would pay for that dinner.
    I'd provide some light refreshments after the wedding if the meal is going to be a ways off.  If you want to do a photo tour right after the ceremony, then you shoud probably pay for that.  The reception is to thank them for coming.

    4.  Does etiquette state we have to pay for any other meals?
    You don't have to pay for a welcome dinner or a morning after brunch, but some people do if they can afford it.  We're having a pizza party the night before (in a park), then taking people rafting but only becasue my friends and I have our own rafts.  I couldn't do it if I had to pay a company.  I feel like people spent over two grand to come see us, I'm going to have to give them the most bang for their buck that I can afford.

    5.  How responsible do we need to be for the guests other free-time?
    Not too much.  I'd provide them with a list of ideas of stuff they can do.  So far, most guests are extending the trip to make it a vacation to Yellowstone.  I had a lot of fun creating a wedding website (free) with tons of info on flying, hotels, cars, restaurants, activities, etc.

    6.  If we plan a separte event, like a Yankee game, are we requred to pay for their tickets?
    If you send out RSVPs to other events/get togethers or list them on your website, that usually means you are paying.  If you just say by worth of mouth only, "Hey Thursday night we're going to a game if anyone wants to join us."  Then that indicates pay your own way. 

    7.  We would do welcome/gift bags,  do we need to have a 'welcome reception'?
    Not necessary, but a nice guesture.  I proboably won't do welcome bags, but I will do a welcome dinner like I mentioned above.
  • Welp, Gina said everything I would have said and more.  
  • Yep, well said Gina.

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  • Well, I was asking these very same things about 4 months ago!  LOL
  • I honestly think Welcome Bags are a waste of time and money.  I say this because I go to several conferences a year and I always get a tote bag full of snacks, coupons, info packets, etc. and it usually all goes in the trash.  Hotels most always have a shelf at their desk with brochures of places to go and things to see/do.  While I agree a special note in their room is a nice gesture, I don't think anything more than the note and maybe a couple bottles of water are necessary.   On top of that, it's just junk that will likely be left in the room so it doesn't have to be toted home in the already packed suitcase.
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    Just because you saw it on Four Weddings, doesn't mean it's a good idea.
  • A couple of little things, from a NYer.  Don't assume people will get rental cars, it's NYC, you don't need a car.  Most hotels have shuttles to the local airports, so use those unless you want to rent a private ride.  I don't know if you've gone to Yankees games before, but I don't recommend driving unless you have to.  Parking is really expensive and there's a ton of traffic near the stadium before and after games.  Take public transit if you can.  Use a site like stubhub to buy tickets if you want to save money.  It's a legitimate site and you won't end up with fake tickets. 
    Have fun in the city.  I really need to take the time to see some of the sights again and play tourist for a day.
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