Sorry this is long, there are CN at the bottom.
FMIL is requesting we have our RSVP date for our wedding at least a month before the wedding. This is because she thinks that is the normal time frame and she wants to know who is coming to the wedding before she sends out invitations to the rehearsal dinner. We felt 2 weeks before we need a final count, 2.5 weeks from the wedding, would be sufficient.
Only family will be invited to the RD (parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousins- and all significant others)-we do not have a bridal party. We already approximately know who in our families will be coming +/- a few people, many likely cannot make it. They are all traveling across the country and those that we expect to come have booked their trips. However, I wouldn't want to exclude anyone that may change their mind and decide to come closer to the date.
Is this how things are normally done? To me that seems REALLY early. I'd obviously like to get in RSVPs earlier, but I don't want to end up with a bunch of people changing their mind right before the wedding because something came up.
So I guess my question is: should I set my RSVP earlier to accommodate her or should I ask her to send out the rehearsal dinner invitations (to everyone that would be invited to the RD if they came to the wedding) at the same time we mail our invitations? I'm guessing she doesn't want to print/mail extra invitations that aren't necessary.
CN: FMIL wants to set the RSVP for the wedding at least 1 month before the wedding so she knows who to invite to the RD. I think this is early, very early, and that she should mail her invitations when we mail ours. Is this not a big deal and I should accommodate her or is that a really bad idea?