planning a bridal shower when no one is in the same state

AngelMeag

How do I do this? Or get my MOH to do it? I live in DC, my maid of honor and two members of my bridal party live in NY, my matron of honor lives in NC, my mom is in SC, my friends are in a different part of SC, and my FMIL is in AZ. Everyone's all spread out, I don't know who I'm supposed to have there. I don't know what to do about meshing my mom's side with my dad's side. Do I have a separate shower with them? Do I have to ask one of them to host a separate shower? I feel awkward enough asking everyone to travel to go to the wedding. How do I ask them to travel for the shower too? Where do I have it? Where the matron of honor lives? Where the majority of the people I want to invite live?

crash2729

Don't plan your own shower. 

If someone offers to plan it you can accept or decline.

jessicabessica

As PPs said, you don't plan or host your own shower and you don't ask someone to throw one for you.  If someone offers you a shower, I would imagine she would want to have it where she lived, but it's up to her.  If you don't end up having a shower, it's not the end of the world, so try not to stress about this. 

PetalPockets2012

Agree with PP. Don't ask anyone to throw a shower for you. Wait for someone to offer to host one.

aragx6

If your profile is right you have an incredibly long time until your wedding. Mine is more than a year before yours and details of my shower and bach party are still now being finalized by my mom and several of my bridesmaids.

Even when the time does get closer, as others have said, you don't organize these parties yourself or ask anyone to do it for you. If they can and wish to do this, they will.

AngelMeag

I know my wedding is waaaaaaaaay off. My mom and my sister have wedding fever for me. They're trying to figure everything out now.

jessicabessica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_planning-a-bridal-shower-when-no-one-is-in-the-same-state?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:952356b1-ce7b-4307-8d35-83d9b3c555bdPost:e6b6ca07-8dff-4d40-beb8-73f627807787">Re: planning a bridal shower when no one is in the same state</a>:
[QUOTE]I know my wedding is waaaaaaaaay off. My mom and my sister have wedding fever for me. They're trying to figure everything out now.
Posted by AngelMeag[/QUOTE]

Well, if they would like to host a shower for you, they can start planning, although I would not set the date until you get closer to the wedding.  It used to be poor etiquette for a MOB to host a shower for her daughter, but many circles have moved away from that, especially if you're not living with your parents currently and are more established on your own. 

Also, is your wedding guestlist final?  Don't make a shower guestlist until you know everyone will be invited to the wedding. 

PetalPockets2012

I really need to start looking at a poster's wedding date.

My wedding is this October and my MOHs started in June planning the shower for August. It really is too early to be thinking about this. Things change in a year. I would tell your mom and sister to wait awhile to figure this out.

Summer2011Bride

If they offer to throw you a shower when it gets closer to your wedding, they will probably ask you for a guest list. Make sure all shower guests are also wedding guests.

If your mom and sister host, I would probably include FMIL and your BMs but mainly keep it to people on your side of the family. That's how we split it up. My MIL/BMs hosted a shower for H's side and then I Had another shower that was for people on my side hosted by an aunt. You may end up with only one shower and that's fine. If your mom and sister ask for a guest list, make sure to ask how many people they wanted to accommodate.

As far as OOT guests, all you can do is send the invitation and leave it up to them whether or not they want to/can attend. I did have some people come in from OOT/out of state for my showers, so you just never know.