Here's your sign...

crfische

Dani's post gave me an idea. Post what you'd want to make a sign of, or a sign you'd like to hand someone.

On my office door sign:

"If my door is closed, or you see that I'm on the phone, NO, I DON'T HAVE A MINUTE. COME BACK LATER. Or never."

crfische

To mostly everyone in the world who asks me stupid questions:

"You have just as much access to google as I do. JUST FUCKING GOOGLE IT."

crfische

To Angned:

"2006 called. They want you back."

vallyhoo

I work with a bunch of slobs apparently and our unisex bathroom is disgusting.

Mrs.B6302007

my sign:  Can you NOT count?

I'd give it to the idiots who get in the express line with more than the designated # of items.

crfische

"If you cannot walk and talk on your cellphone, please sit down and get the hell out of my way."

FutureMrsTR

"If my computer screen is off, I'm putting food into my mouth and reading a book, then YES I'm at lunch and NO I don't want to listen to you explain what you're leaving on my desk.  Just leave it and walk away"

I guess that's a wordy sign, but it happens all.the.time.  And I would eat in the kitchen/lunchroom, but the last time I did that someone was in there talking about their toddler having worms coming out of their butt.  Not cool.

mandybear7

READ THE DIRECTIONS.

Seriously, I believe teenagers are incapable of reading test directions. I do bold and capitalize that on top of every test. As a matter of fact, a student just came up to ask me a question about the test. READ THE DIRECTIONS!

SwedishChick2011

I'd like to put a sign on the bathroom stalls in our office (and most public restrooms):

"If you feel the need to hover instead of sitting or squatting like a normal person, please clean up the spray you will inevitably make on the seat.  Next, flush the toilet.  If not everything goes down the first time, flush again.  Repeat as necessary." 

Mrs.B6302007

I'll ditto that Mandy!

crfische

"Server, I know you're really excited that your friends came in to eat in your section, but sitting and chatting with them when my beverage is empty is really fucking annoying."

[Deleted User]

Mind would be:

You seem to be so stupid that it surprises me that you are able to dress yourself and find your way to work.

AlexiaANDRobert

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_heres-sign?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:95ef8aa4-9c02-468b-b036-aa475742d6d2Post:96e661ff-382b-4a23-9667-e05cacacdb2c">Re: Here's your sign...</a>:
[QUOTE]READ THE DIRECTIONS. Seriously, I believe teenagers are incapable of reading test directions. I do bold and capitalize that on top of every test. As a matter of fact, a student just came up to ask me a question about the test. READ THE DIRECTIONS!
Posted by mandybear7[/QUOTE]

You and Mrs. B should give this test.

Make two different versions of the test.
On one, the instructions should read: Write your name at the bottom of the test.  Only answer the odd numbered questions.
On the other, the instructions should read: Write your name at the top of the test.  Only answer the even numbered questions.

I had a teacher do this and it was awesome.  No one ever asked a question about the directions again.

LesPaul

We have the absolute queen of passive-aggressive notes working here.  Signs and instructions everywhere - how to make coffee, how to flush the toilet.  Here is one I took a picture of - regarding holiday treats in the breakroom.  She was unhappy that I had not decided on what I wanted to bring (like it matters - who cares what I am bringing to snack on two weeks from now)

LesPaul

Alexia - I had a teacher in high school who did this.  The directions said to write your name at the top and turn it in.  Not many people followed the directions and he graded accordingly.  Classic.

crfische

OMG, that reminds me of the sign in our bathroom! HOld. I'm going to go take a picture.

MissLeahM

ATTN Coworkers:
The binder ontop of the filing cabinet clearly labled 'Client Forms' has, you guessed it, all the client forms that you need when I'm not here.
Yes I asked you not to dig though my desk, but you seem to not have a problem with doing that anyway, so feeling 'weird' about touching my binders that I've told you numerous times is for everyone's access, is not an excuse.

Stackeye210

Two words.  COURTESY FLUSH

Nobody wants a half cup of coffee, so either top off your cup or RESTART THE DANG COFFEE MAKER!!!!!

"No, I don't want to see it!"  (not sure what IT is, but I usually don't wanna see it)

Stackeye210

My cell phone is still broke so I can't take a picture of our bathroom sign, but it says,

"please flush the toilet".

REALLY?  that's not common sense?  And it happened so many times that a sign had to be made?  WOW. 

crfische

This is for real in our bathroom.

Stackeye210

WOW Fish, and it's even laminated?  lol.  They sure are serious

Night_Sprite

Dear God Fishy, is that even legal to have in a bathroom?  Is it public or for staff only?

mandysmear

WE have signs in our bathroom.

A Kind Reminder: The toilets are energy/water efficient, so please check to ensure contents have been flushed.

I want the bumper sticker that says, "if you're going to ride my asss, at least pull my hair."

vallyhoo

I think I got it. Wash my hands to keep Jesus away and pray for germs. Wait, that can't be right, can it?

crfische

Ha!

Yup, it's public. We're a Christian organization so it's legal, but it still is super annoying.

mandybear7

Another one for my highschoolers:
DO NOT SMACK YOUR GUM. YOU SOUND LIKE A COW.

mocha beans

I had a teacher give us a test like that, Les.  It was 4 pages long, and looked hard.  Directions were to scan through the whole test before beginning.  The very last question said to put your name on top and turn it in.  Some people actually went through the whole test.  I laughed my asss off.

SarahPLiz

KNOCK please!

If Im looking at my screen, I am not listening to you. Please go away!

and.. READ THE EFFING SIGN BELOW:
which tells them which person in Accounting does what.. and I am not on the sign. Whatever you need, I don't do it.

Fishy, I could SO see one of those signs in our restroom. I have conteplated putting one up right next to the Febreze Air Freshener saying "Yes, your Shiit DOES stink. Please spray!"

bbyckes

My sign would read:

YOU CAN STOP TALKING NOW.  I MAY BE NODDING MY HEAD, BUT I STOPPED LISTENING TO YOU ABOUT TEN MINUTES AGO. 

Also,

WE DO NOT NEED TO SCHEDULE MEETING TO DISCUSS FUTURE MEETINGS ABOUT WHAT WE NEED TO MEET ABOUT.

I sat in on a meeting where we planned no less than FIVE meetings to discuss meeting to talk about future meetings.  This is rifuckingdiculous.

SarahPLiz

bbycakes, this one is for you:


Rome did not build a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all who opposed them

MeaghanandMichael

My sign reads,
"While you are busy explaining why you are mad at me Mike I am not listening but rather formulating in my head the next point I need to make about why you are, in fact, the wrong one."

Can you tell I am pmsing this week?