Shower Thank Yous

OwningAHome1981

So do the thank you cards for my shower get signed by me or my fiance as well? Obv the shower is for me but the registry gifts are for both of us. Whats right? Thanks from me or thanks from us?

hoffse

From you.  Correspondence should only be signed by one person anyway, including regular thank yous.  I wrote "FI and I are so excited to use X" or some variation to include him.  But he hasn't signed anything.

jessicabessica

We signed all of our thank you notes (shower and wedding) only from one person, as hoffse said.  If I was writing the note, I would say "H and I look forward to making pancakes together with the griddle you got for us.  Love, jessicabessica."  If H was writing the note, he would include me but just sign from him.  

OwningAHome1981

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-thank-yous-17?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:962c31cd-efe0-4d81-b50c-155d7b086ee3Post:ef6ef19e-93d9-4584-8bc1-9f7dae905fd6">Re: Shower Thank Yous</a>:
[QUOTE]We signed all of our thank you notes (shower and wedding) only from one person, as hoffse said.  If I was writing the note, I would say "H and I look forward to making pancakes together with the griddle you got for us.  Love, jessicabessica."  If H was writing the note, he would include me but just sign from him.  
Posted by jessicabessica[/QUOTE]

I think we will put both of our names on the wedding thank yous but wasn't sure for the shower. Thanks!

jessicabessica

Proper etiquette is that one person writes correspondence.  Even if it is on behalf of you and your FI, only the person writing it signs.  Obviously the world won't end if you write your FI's name or he scribbles his own name next to yours on a note that you wrote, but FYI, since this is the etiquette board.

OwningAHome1981

It's OUR wedding, OUR names should be signed together- that's what I feel.. whether it goes against etiquette or not. I have only received cards where both names were listed. I would think it was kind of weird if I got a wedding card with only one name on it.

maybe that's just me. Oh well. :::shrug:::

Kate61487

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-thank-yous-17?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:962c31cd-efe0-4d81-b50c-155d7b086ee3Post:5468383b-163b-4dce-b448-332f6b3c22bc">Re: Shower Thank Yous</a>:
[QUOTE]It's OUR wedding, OUR names should be signed together-<strong> that's</strong> <strong>what I feel.. whether it goes against etiquette or not.</strong> I have only received cards where both names were listed. I would think it was kind of weird if I got a wedding card with only one name on it. maybe that's just me. Oh well. :::shrug:::
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

So glad you came to the etiquette board to ask, then. 

OwningAHome1981

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-thank-yous-17?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:962c31cd-efe0-4d81-b50c-155d7b086ee3Post:f097ea7a-7996-4a11-b198-d57cf5b703ba">Re: Shower Thank Yous</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Shower Thank Yous : So glad you came to the etiquette board to ask, then. 
Posted by Kate61487[/QUOTE]

If you read the thread, I aksed about SHOWER thank yous, NOT WEDDING thank yous.

kmbryant2413

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-thank-yous-17?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:962c31cd-efe0-4d81-b50c-155d7b086ee3Post:2443fcfb-ca3f-4c82-b5fc-df14ee9ea854">Re: Shower Thank Yous</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Shower Thank Yous : If you read the thread, I aksed about SHOWER thank yous, NOT WEDDING thank yous.
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]
<img class="image" src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mefmu09Q2g1r4gn4wo1_400.gif" alt="" width="500" height="280" />

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-thank-yous-17?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:962c31cd-efe0-4d81-b50c-155d7b086ee3Post:2443fcfb-ca3f-4c82-b5fc-df14ee9ea854">Re: Shower Thank Yous</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Shower Thank Yous : If you read the thread, I aksed about SHOWER thank yous, NOT WEDDING thank yous.
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

<div>But wouldn't the same rules apply? I mean, the shower gifts are for both of you, just as the wedding gifts are for both of you. What's the difference?  </div>

OwningAHome1981

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-thank-yous-17?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:962c31cd-efe0-4d81-b50c-155d7b086ee3Post:9212a38e-7f83-4812-b090-0cecfd38dec7">Re: Shower Thank Yous</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Shower Thank Yous : But wouldn't the same rules apply? I mean, the shower gifts are for both of you, just as the wedding gifts are for both of you. What's the difference?  
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

B/c my fiance wouldn't be at the shower where at the wedding obv he would. So wasn't sure if I should sign the shower cards with his name b/c he is not involved with it.

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-thank-yous-17?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:962c31cd-efe0-4d81-b50c-155d7b086ee3Post:4cb335a9-5e74-4cf5-a9c7-c01f565182dd">Re: Shower Thank Yous</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Shower Thank Yous : B/c my fiance wouldn't be at the shower where at the wedding obv he would. So wasn't sure if I should sign the shower cards with his name b/c he is not involved with it.
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

<div>But the thank you cards are for the gifts received. </div>

OwningAHome1981

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-thank-yous-17?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:962c31cd-efe0-4d81-b50c-155d7b086ee3Post:d2c1ffcd-d648-46a2-965f-455df52a5dc6">Re: Shower Thank Yous</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Shower Thank Yous : But the thank you cards are for the gifts received. 
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

Well that's why I asked- but apparently I shouldn't put his name on the shower thank yous. I wouldn't feel right about not putting his name on the wedding thank yous though.

OUR wedding
MY shower

But yes, I agree with you.

jessicabessica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-thank-yous-17?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:962c31cd-efe0-4d81-b50c-155d7b086ee3Post:4cb335a9-5e74-4cf5-a9c7-c01f565182dd">Re: Shower Thank Yous</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Shower Thank Yous : B/c my fiance wouldn't be at the shower where at the wedding obv he would. So wasn't sure if I should sign the shower cards with his name b/c he is not involved with it.
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

<div>But the shower gifts are for him, too.  And he wouldn't be at the shower to thank guests in person, even, so it seems like the OUR rule should apply even stronger here.  </div><div>
</div><div>And I could not care less how you sign your TY notes, so no need to get all defensive just because I pointed out proper etiquette on the etiquette board.  </div>

OwningAHome1981

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-thank-yous-17?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:962c31cd-efe0-4d81-b50c-155d7b086ee3Post:a9952dd0-44a3-453a-9e62-a23bfc5d58bd">Re: Shower Thank Yous</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to  Re: Shower Thank Yous : But the shower gifts are for him, too.  And he wouldn't be at the shower to thank guests in person, even, so it seems like the <strong>OUR rule should apply even stronger here</strong>.   And I could not care less how you sign your TY notes, so no need to get all defensive just because I pointed out proper etiquette on the etiquette board.  
Posted by jessicabessica[/QUOTE]

I thought so too but the other posters do not.

kmbryant2413

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-thank-yous-17?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:962c31cd-efe0-4d81-b50c-155d7b086ee3Post:cfc977a5-d03c-47c5-8d98-dd6ef6fe6c26">Re: Shower Thank Yous</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Shower Thank Yous : WhatisthisIdon'teven.
Posted by tarradesign[/QUOTE]

<div>I accidentally a whole word.</div>

OwningAHome1981

I asked b/c i WAS planning to put his name on the shower thank yous but then the other posters said I shouldn't... then one poster said I shouldn't put his name on the wedding thank you's either. My rationale was that the gifts in both cases were for both of us- so why wouldn't I put his name on the shower thank yous then too?

So AddieL, yes I think the same rules would apply but would you say you wouldn't put your husband's name on the wedding thank you if you didn't for the shower thank you? I think it should be consistent in both cases, but I think he should be listed on both. If having a wedding thank you with his name goes against etiquette, so be it but the gifts are for both of us in both cases.

misshart00

Why don't you each write half and each sign your own? That seems like the best solution. When I wrote ours, I only signed my name but within the note was 'H and I will definitely enjoy this.' That way the giver knows both of you value the present without having to sign both names.

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-thank-yous-17?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:962c31cd-efe0-4d81-b50c-155d7b086ee3Post:86f811a6-fb36-4a7e-bc0a-5799925ffbae">Re: Shower Thank Yous</a>:
[QUOTE]I asked b/c i WAS planning to put his name on the shower thank yous but then the other posters said I shouldn't... then one poster said I shouldn't put his name on the wedding thank you's either. My rationale was that the gifts in both cases were for both of us- so why wouldn't I put his name on the shower thank yous then too? So AddieL, yes I think the same rules would apply but would you say you wouldn't put your husband's name on the wedding thank you if you didn't for the shower thank you? I think it should be consistent in both cases, but I think he should be listed on both. If having a wedding thank you with his name goes against etiquette, so be it but the gifts are for both of us in both cases.
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]
<div>
</div><div>I would put this kind of thing on both:</div><div>
</div><div><em>Thank you for the ceramic rooster!  Jimmy and I are very much looking forward to having it in the kitchen of our new home!</em></div><div>
</div><div>and then sign just my name. </div>

OwningAHome1981

That woman on the phone is one ugly woman!

Ok, I see it differently then- b/c I couldn't see sending out a wedding thank you without his name- ie. Love, Me & Him.

I don't think there's a right or wrong, I also think people don't really care either way as long as they receive a thank you. I was just wondering about the shower ones and what you ladies thought.

The wedding ones without his name didn't even cross my mind- his name will be on those.

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-thank-yous-17?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:962c31cd-efe0-4d81-b50c-155d7b086ee3Post:ed8dd9c9-d269-4725-bb70-120b980a0c42">Re: Shower Thank Yous</a>:
[QUOTE]That woman on the phone is one ugly woman! Ok, I see it differently then- b/c I couldn't see sending out a wedding thank you without his name- ie. Love, Me & Him. I don't think there's a right or wrong, I also think people don't really care either way as long as they receive a thank you. I was just wondering about the shower ones and what you ladies though. The wedding ones without his name didn't even cross my mind- his name will be on those.
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]
Don't say that about Big Ang!  (I took the pic out b/c it wouldn't animate right. I fail at gifs)<div>
</div><div>But the ladies are telling you it's not proper etiquette to sign his name. And their point now is that if you don't care about the proper etiquette of that,why do you care about the etiquette of the shower ones?</div>

OwningAHome1981

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-thank-yous-17?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:962c31cd-efe0-4d81-b50c-155d7b086ee3Post:da30c007-4ac9-4a0c-ad7b-3d9e6eecc72e">Re: Shower Thank Yous</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Shower Thank Yous : There is a right a wrong, whether you agree with it or not. Two people can't write a note, unless he places his hand over yours while you write, but that would be weird. However, I don't think people will care.
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

Not writing together literally but I mean signing both of our names, as it is from both of us- not actually physically writing it together.

"Thanks for the awesome _______. We can't wait to use it for ___________. Love, Me & him"

Something to that effect. I also would want to thank them for coming to the shower as well.

Maybe there's a right or wrong, but half the stuff from these crazy "etiquette" books no one even notices or cares about.

hoffse

Liatris is correct - the reason only one person signs is because only one person writes it.  I've included FI's name in every single thank you I've written so far ("Fi and I are so excited to use X"), but I haven't signed his name to anything.

I've never received a wedding thank you note where both the bride and groomed signed.  It's whatever, and I know that I'm in the minority on this sort of thing, but I would notice and know it was incorrect if I received a thank you with both people signing it.  Kind of like how I always notice preprinted addresses... or when the couple uses the word "and" between our names, even though we aren't married yet.  I just always notice that sort of thing.  Do what you want - no reason to get all defensive - we're just telling you what rule is.  

misshart00

In Response to Re:Shower Thank Yous:[QUOTE]Liatris is correct the reason only one person signs is because only one person writes it. nbsp;I've included FI's name in every single thank you I've written so far "Fi and I are so excited to use X", but I haven't signed his name to anything.I've never received a wedding thank you note where both the bride and groomed signed. nbsp;It's whatever, and I know that I'm in the minority on this sort of thing, but I would notice and know it was incorrect if I received a thank you with both people signing it. nbsp;Kind of like how I always notice preprinted addresses... or when the couple uses the word "and" between our names, even though we aren't married yet. nbsp;I just always notice that sort of thing. nbsp;Do what you want no reason to get all defensive we're just telling you what rule is. nbsp; Posted by hoffse[/QUOTE]

I notice it too. Even before I was on TK. It always made me wonder if the FI or H actually wrote any thank you notes or if he just pawned it off on her. I know that's thinking way too much into it, but its awkward to me.

athomfor

My fiance and I have sat together and discussed what to write in each thank you note. I ended up being the one who actualy put the text on paper. So truly it was  joint effort and a combined voice in the note. We've always signed the those notes jointly (I write my name and he writes his) as we both authored the note (even with my hand physically writting the text). So, I guess based on what is written here, we are technically wrong, but it made sense to us.

hoffse

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-thank-yous-17?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:962c31cd-efe0-4d81-b50c-155d7b086ee3Post:c88b8d94-46bf-4e28-9504-2afd3731af50">Re: Shower Thank Yous</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance and I have sat together and discussed what to write in each thank you note. I ended up being the one who actualy put the text on paper. So truly it was  joint effort and a combined voice in the note. We've always signed the those notes jointly (I write my name and he writes his) as we both authored the note (even with my hand physically writting the text). So, I guess based on what is written here, we are technically wrong, but it made sense to us.
Posted by athomfor[/QUOTE]

<div>Again, it's whatever.  But OP asked the qusetion, and we answered.  This is like professional correspondence.  I write letters on behalf of my law firm sometimes.  I always say "we represent" and then I sign "sincerely, hoffse."  3 or 4 people review them and edit them before being sent out.  But they're only signed by a single person.  Even when composed together, only one person should sign if you want to follow correspondence etiquette.</div><div>
</div><div>It is certainly not a hill to die on, and most people won't notice.  But some will.  I always do.  That's what we're trying to make OP understand. </div>

AdeleDazeem

We did this wrong.  I knew it when we wrote them, but did it anyway. 

I couldn't get passed the feeling of it being a one sided thank you if only I signed it.  For all anyone knew, I was just writing "Jay and I love the blender!" when Jay didn't know a thank you note existed, much less cared if one went out.  I didn't like it.  But, it also made difficult writing because whose voice was I talking in?  I GET IT.

In the end, I wrote 3/4 of them; he wrote 1/4 of them; we both signed our names on each one.  It's wrong, it's wrong.  But there it is.

AdeleDazeem

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-thank-yous-17?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:962c31cd-efe0-4d81-b50c-155d7b086ee3Post:2686ca54-c610-4ad8-89f2-bbcac8bf277f">Re: Shower Thank Yous</a>:
[QUOTE]However, there is a big difference between doing it (which, who cares?) and asking about it on an Etiquette board then arguing when you get the proper answer according to etiquette.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

Oh yes.

Hey - can you tell me more about egg muffins?  How do you make them?  I'm feeling kinda dumb.