I don't know if this is the right place to ask this but I'm needing some advice about inviting family members to the wedding who may not be upstanding citizens. More specifically, I have an uncle on my Dad's side who was charged (but not yet convicted) with a very serious crime. He's been in trouble with the law before so this doesn't come as a huge surprise, but this particular charge is NOT good...at all. I'm not sure where things are at as far as court proceedings, etc. so maybe he'll be in jail by the time my wedding rolls around next year and I won't have to worry about it. My dad isn't close to him and neither am I, but he's always been invited to, and attended, most of my cousin's weddings. My grandmother, whom I'm VERY close to, just kind of ignores everything and she's always stood right by him as her son. I think she'd be hurt if I didn't invite him...ugh. And I know as everyone keeps telling me, "You can invite whomever you want," but I don't want to upset my grandmother by not inviting him either.
Then, on the same side of the family...I have a much younger cousin whom I don't see very often but he is the son of my most favorite Aunt. When I became his "friend" on Facebook I noticed his new tattoo (a confederate flag) along with some "white power" references. This goes totally against what my FI and I believe and my first gut reaction was that this guy is NOT coming to our wedding. But then I felt like why should I exclude him just because his beliefs, however disgusting to me, are different from my own? And, like I mentioned, he's the son of my favorite Aunt. Now, I don't know her feelings about his beliefs since I just learned this. But I know she'd be hurt if I didn't invite him (but did invite his twin brother). I don't think other people would be upset by him being there (because they wouldn't know his beliefs unless he decided to make them known). I know I can't assume he'd bring trouble, but it kind of makes me sick to my stomach to think of having him (and my uncle) there. Is this reason enough not to invite them? What would you do?
TIA to anyone who takes the time to give some words of advice!
