anybody really just end up eloping/going to the court house instead?

teaformeplease

Long story short, my family is kind of making me crazy with wedding stuff and it's a year away!  I really do want a party and big celebration with my family, but if it's already stressing me out, I'm wondering if anyone has just said screw it all and gone off and eloped or gone to the court house instead?
 Did your family freak?  Did you lose much money?  What did your FI say?

Thanks!

Mrs.B6302007

I believe aegifford below did.

emarston1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_anybody-really-just-end-up-elopinggoing-court-house-instead?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:972baab9-27e7-40e8-adba-7dd62bb19bd3Post:e0d0c725-2421-4d03-9544-4efa767ebfbe">Re: anybody really just end up eloping/going to the court house instead?</a>:
[QUOTE]I believe aegifford below did.
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]
DED.

Audrey&Austin

I think you'd have to be totally willing to give up the wedding and everything that goes along with the wedding. Your family may be driving you crazy, but are you 100% willing to give up all of the memories and joy that would come from the wedding?

anna.oskar

I seriously considered it at around 4 months out. We didn't because we would have lost too much money.

teaformeplease

that's my big hang up- I really want to dance and have fun with everyone but it seems like so many decisions and stress!! My FI of course says he will do whatever makes me happy but I kind of just want to go to the courthouse and take a sweet honeymoon instead right now.  I'll have to think about it more, but I'd appreciate hearing anymore examples or advice.

Audrey&Austin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_anybody-really-just-end-up-elopinggoing-court-house-instead?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:972baab9-27e7-40e8-adba-7dd62bb19bd3Post:83ad9806-0e5d-4935-9598-62623feef62a">Re: anybody really just end up eloping/going to the court house instead?</a>:
[QUOTE]that's my big hang up- I really want to dance and have fun with everyone but it seems like so many decisions and stress!! My FI of course says he will do whatever makes me happy but I kind of just want to go to the courthouse and take a sweet honeymoon instead right now.  I'll have to think about it more, but I'd appreciate hearing anymore examples or advice.
Posted by teaformeplease[/QUOTE]
I think that a lot of people that do elope in the midst of the planning due to all of the stress later regret their decision. There are have been a lot of people that I've seen on here that have regretted their decision and want to have the party but can't. If you're just feeling stressed, I think it might be a good idea to take a break from all of the wedding related things and take time to remember <em>why</em> you're gettign married to begin with.

aMrsin09

We were about 5 minutes from making that decision but then FI (now H) asked "will you still be able to wear your gown?"  When I said "no" he scrapped the JoP route.  It was my first wedding (his second) and he wanted me to "have at least some  of the trimmings".

We ended up with a small 14 person wedding in the morning with an afternoon lunch reception at a restaurant.  The restaurant took care of everything.

katiewhompus

What about the planning is driving you crazy? A lot of things can be omitted if you want them to be, which could eliminate some of the stress.

teaformeplease

big family, little budget is the main thing

Lisa8888

If you can't afford a big wedding, don't have a big wedding. You don't need to invite lots of people. There is nothing wrong with going to the court house and getting married by a JOP either.

tayylor65

We considered it when we first got engaged.  We thought we'd announce what we were doing and run off to get married then throw a large celebration when we got back. 

Then I realized though that I wanted my parents to be involved in their only daughter's wedding. And the photos, excitement, decisions, stress, anticipation, etc--it's all a part of the experience you only get once. 

It obviously depends on the bride, but I think most women would regret not having a traditional wedding especially when they cancelled mid-planning.  

Just start plannign things asap! Everything starts falling into place naturally as you start making decisions and booking your venue/caterer/etc. 

katiewhompus

There's a lot you can do with a little budget! Look into having a punch and cake reception, firehall/church hall reception, or getting married at a park or other public place.

Kristin789

Well, we talked about it, and then like AMrsIn09,
we had a very small noon-time wedding followed by a lunch reception.

We threw away the big guest list we were working on, and asked instead, WHO DO WE WANT THERE? 

FI said he wanted his mom and dad, and his bro/wife/3kids - total of 7 people.
So I invited my mom, two friends of hers (one had a husband too), and two friends of mine, and the woman who introduced us - total of 7 people.

All totaled, we had 25 people at the luncheon, including the officiant and videog&assistant, and the photog, etc.

And because we did a lunch, the cost per person was only $16 inclusive, and that's at a country club.

So we didn't get married without our parents there.  Just could not do that.  But we had a really small, intimate, spiritual, personal wedding, and it was just right for us.

2dBride

We had what I consider the best of both worlds.  We had an intimate ceremony and luncheon (a dozen guests, immediate family and very close friends) in Massachusetts.  We then had a much larger party with hors d'oeuvres, a chocolate fountain, wedding cake, open bar, live music, dancing, and a DIY fauxtobooth back in DC.

Of course, this was originally born of necessity, because as a same-sex couple, we could not get married in DC at the time.  However, it ended up working quite well.