Wedding Etiquette Forum

Tipping at NYC Venue (WR)

So, I'm in the process of signing my contract for my venue.  We're having a 45 (max) person destination wedding in New York City, with the reception in a private space at a nice restaurant. 

In the wedding package, we pay a fee per person, for food and drink, + 20% admin charge (not gratuity), +tax.

Total food/drink/location/admin package will come to approx $16,000.

I know it's customary to tip 18-20% in NYC when going out to dinner, however, would it be the same in the case of a wedding? (This results in $3000 extra, which I think is excessive, given the size of our event, and the fact that we're already paying a 20% admin charge).

I was hoping I could find out how many servers/bartenders will be working our event, then tip "per person" +a bit extra? Is this appropriate? Inappropriate?

What would be an appropriate tip in your opinion?

Re: Tipping at NYC Venue (WR)

  • I do not know why wedding would be the exception?

    How many servers are you going to have?  How much are you planning on tipping? Depending on the location $3-400 for a nights work is not unheard off.  






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • also...  Just because your event is 5 hours, does not mean that is all the work. Most of us come in 1-2 hours before and stay 1-2 hours after.








    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • The reason why I thought the wedding might be an exception, is that a regular dinner in the dining room would cost approx. $150 per person for 4 courses including wine.  45 guests @ 150 = 6750, 20% = 1350 (significantly less than the proposed $3200 if I tip 20% of the final bill).

    Tipping 20% on the 20% admin charge also feels like I'm getting screwed somehow?

    I'm getting vibes that I'm probably the cheap one here - I'm not as used to tipping culture in the US, so I may just have grin and bear it?   

  • I didn't say you had to tip on the admin fee.   Actually I wouldn't tip on the admin fee.  I would tip on the food and bev costs.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • You should tip the usual, 18 - 20%.  I'm surprised that wasn't added in to the contract.

    The waiters and waitresses are working for tips (mostly) and it's not their fault they get stuck with a reception rather than their usual tables.
  • mica178mica178 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tipping-nyc-venue-wr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:97b666d5-3be0-441a-84a4-47fc86902a88Post:c5496f9a-a2a7-48b9-96b4-1c9aad437b26">Re: Tipping at NYC Venue (WR)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I didn't say you had to tip on the admin fee.   Actually I wouldn't tip on the admin fee.  I would tip on the food and bev costs.
    Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

    I agree with this.
  • For the record I would question that 20% admin fee.

    Where I work there is a 20-22% service charge.    It breaksdown to the staff getting 75% of the amount and the other 25% goes to the house (admin if you will).

    20% admin fee seems like a lot if none of it is going to the staff.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tipping-nyc-venue-wr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:97b666d5-3be0-441a-84a4-47fc86902a88Post:08372f71-26a2-4684-9a90-d2bc0503d1ee">Re: Tipping at NYC Venue (WR)</a>:
    [QUOTE]For the record I would question that 20% admin fee. Where I work there is a 20-22% service charge.    It breaksdown to the staff getting 75% of the amount and the other 25% goes to the house (admin if you will). 20% admin fee seems like a lot if none of it is going to the staff.
    Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

    odd for sure.  Question that with the restaurant
  • You should ask some more questions of your vendor. The last place I booked for a work event had an admin fee like that, but I was told then that we did not have to add any gratuity....apparently they used the admin fee to pay a much higher/hour wage to the servers, so essentially it was gratuity. They did a great job, so we did pay a smaller gratuity, but only on the food/beverage charge.

    IMHO, $16k sounds pretty steep for 45 people.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tipping-nyc-venue-wr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:97b666d5-3be0-441a-84a4-47fc86902a88Post:6453aac1-51c2-483e-8323-03b1d2992ab6">Re: Tipping at NYC Venue (WR)</a>:
    [QUOTE]The reason why I thought the wedding might be an exception, is that a regular dinner in the dining room would cost approx. $150 per person for 4 courses including wine.  45 guests @ 150 = 6750, 20% = 1350 (significantly less than the proposed $3200 if I tip 20% of the final bill). Tipping 20% on the 20% admin charge also feels like I'm getting screwed somehow? I'm getting vibes that I'm probably the cheap one here - I'm not as used to tipping culture in the US, so I may just have grin and bear it?   
    Posted by Marina007[/QUOTE]

    <div>btw - when I say pay on the food and bev, I mean on what you are paying, not what you *think* they might pay at the regular dinning room.</div><div>
    </div><div>If your bill is $16k, that means you are paying more than $150 pp.</div>






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • sark425sark425 member
    Tenth Anniversary 10 Comments
    I've been in the event/banquet industry in the city for several years- both as a server and in management.  Please confirm this with the venue but the administrative fee covers the higher hourly wages of the wait staff as well as extra back of house labor cost, maintenance costs etc.   The reason why the term "administrative fee" is used instead of gratuity is legally when you have the term gratuity 100% of the gratuity needs to go to the waitstaff.  The banquet servers and bartenders average $18 to 25/hr for events.  You are not cheap if you don't tip another 20% to the waitstaff.  My waitstaff is happy if they get an extra $25 to $50 cash each at a wedding.  As a manager I've gotten tipped between $0 and $300 for an event.

    Bottom line- confirm with the venue that the waitstaff makes a highly hour wage.  If the service was good tip each staff member a few extra bucks
  • I say ask the restaurant. When I had my wedding, there was a 20% admin charge and when I signed my contract, that included their higher hourly wage so tips were not expected. I still gave about $60 to each server since they were still doing a lot of work. For sure get some more information from your vendor.
  • Thank you so much for the advice - I will definitely talk to the venue again to get some more details about the admin fee.

    The contract's states that the administration charge is not a gratuity, but is used to cover prep, management, staff, decor, overhead and general expenses.  The staff is adequately compensated, but gratuities above and beyond normal compensation are always welcome, which might indicate that it might in part go to increased compensation for the servers.
  • That wording is similar to my contract when my girl told me that tips are not expected but appreciated. I asked her since I did not want to be cheap, and she told me 20% is never expected since they are already being paid a higher wage.

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