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Etiquette

Screaming children at ceremony

I've hired a very expensive videographer to film my ceremony (and reception) and am worried about the many small children that will be in attendance during the church service. I know for a fact that a few of the kids are pretty out of control and the last thing I want to hear and be filmed is the sound of wild kids.
I've been to several weddings before when children have cried, whined, etc. during the ceremony and their parents did nothing about it. "They're kids, what can I do about it?" is what I imagine they're thinking. Well, the church in which I'm getting married has an entrance that is separate from the rest of the church where screaming kids can be taken during their fits. There are even windows so you can still see the ceremony!
Here's my question: Is there a way to incorporate this suggestion of taking the kids to this separate room into the program? Any ideas about the wording? I wouldn't be so concerned if we hadn't hired a videographer...but at $4,000, I want the film to as flawless as possible. Thanks!!!
Fast & Furious! Together - 10/17/09 Engaged - 1/1/10 Wedding - 8/20/2010
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Re: Screaming children at ceremony

  • Sure, "Moms with brats, you'll need to sit in the Brat Quarantine Room". Problem solved!

    Really though, I would put a mention in the program about there being a "Quiet Room" for those who may need to use it during the service. I would hope your guests would be respectful enough to remove their loud children if necessary.

    On the other hand, they all might surprise you and not make a peep.
  • georgia's "quiet room" suggestion is perfect, I think.

    That's actually a legitimate fear I have about my wedding too.  I would actually love to just say no to children all-together but I'm way too afraid of offending people since there are so many children in my family (many of whom are holy nightmares).  I absolutely cannot stand when a child is pitching a fit during a wedding (or funeral!) and the parents just sit there.  Really?  I know they want to see the event but my God - it's so rude, and how are they enjoying themselves anyway with a screaming kid right next to them?  Take them out and calm them down!  Sheesh!
    panther
  • Haha! Well, I love BOTH of the wordings...but I suppose the second option would be a little less harsh :) Yes, I would love to just be surprised with quiet children because I don't want anyone to miss the ceremony.

    Thank you so much!

    Fast & Furious! Together - 10/17/09 Engaged - 1/1/10 Wedding - 8/20/2010
  • For $4K, I think he can edit it out.
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  • Have you talked to your videographer?  I am sure either the officiant or the groom can be wired with wireless mike, as opposed to one of those boom mikes that capture every pin drop.  If you are going the route of the quiet room, you migh wantt o go the extra mile and hire a teenage babysitter to watch over the kids.....
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_screaming-children-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9802f33f-ba75-498e-b46d-0e803f2e754dPost:5927754e-879b-462a-808d-84f6e6b8cf0c">Re: Screaming children at ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]For $4K, I think he can edit it out.
    Posted by SarahPLiz[/QUOTE]

    This.
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    If I wanted to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'd put shoes on the cat. image

  • 4K, thats ridiculous!  What does that all include?! 
  • What Georgia said.  Or have the ushers discreetly point out the quiet room to families with small children when they are being seated in case they need it.
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  • edited June 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_screaming-children-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9802f33f-ba75-498e-b46d-0e803f2e754dPost:fd868869-1160-4ea3-a59b-c880085dec98">Re: Screaming children at ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]4K, thats ridiculous!  What does that all include?! 
    Posted by *BeachBride0410*[/QUOTE]


    My videographer isn't QUITE this much but it's in the same ballpark.  I work in broadcasting and I used to work in television so I know what's involved in editing a video - my guess would be she's having the videographer (or videographers) for most of the day, taping several different moments and from several different angles.  I am sure the price goes up the more people are taping.  There are three people coming to tape mine - and if they are all there while people get ready, take photos, during the wedding, as people leave the church/venue, and then various things at the reception including toasts and cake cutting and first dances and whatnot - it becomes a long day and the editing process would be very tedious.  Especially since I'm sure brides want their videos to be perfect (as do I) - the cost really isn't that out of line.  Unless his resources aren't very impressive, I don't think she's being price-gouged at all.
    panther
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_screaming-children-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9802f33f-ba75-498e-b46d-0e803f2e754dPost:aa3f25f3-8a09-45c0-bc1b-198589e51974">Re: Screaming children at ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Screaming children at ceremony : My videographer isn't QUITE this much but it's in the same ballpark.  I work in broadcasting and I used to work in television so I know what's involved in editing a video - my guess would be she's having the videographer (or videographers) for most of the day, taping several different moments and from several different angles.  I am sure the price goes up the more people are taping.  There are three people coming to tape mine - and if they are all there while people get ready, take photos, during the wedding, as people leave the church/venue, and then various things at the reception including toasts and cake cutting and first dances and whatnot - it becomes a long day and the editing process would be very tedious.  Especially since I'm sure brides want their videos to be perfect (as do I) - the cost really isn't that out of line.  Unless his resources aren't very impressive, I don't think she's being price-guaged at all.
    Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

    But how many times are you actually going to watch it? That's what I don't get. We used to tape everyone's graduation, birthday, etc, and ended up with a big box of tapes and DVDs that no one ever watched. Biggest waste of money ever, IMHO.

    But if you are going to watch it regularly to revel in the glory, then maybe $4k is worth it.

    Flame away,
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  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited June 2010
    price-gouged, not gauged :)
  • Haha, thanks Joy :)
    panther
  • I agree with asking your videographer about the editing.  I'm sure he doesn't sell $4K videos with screaming children in them.  Editing is included in your cost I assume so ask to see some of his previous work along with ideas of how this will be edited out
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  • i guess if you know so many of these kids are out of control and ill behaved, why on earth did you invite them to your wedding in the first place?

    you can make the suggestion, but in my experience, even when i've seen a quiet room, NO ONE uses it.  the selfish parents never want to miss out on anything, therefore dont leave with their kid.  at the wedding, a friend of mine had a baby screaming through the entirety of their vows and a good chunk of the homily.  parents REFUSED to take the kid out.  i felt bad for the couple, but this is why we chose not to have kids at our wedding, and i have zero regrets.
  • edited June 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_screaming-children-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9802f33f-ba75-498e-b46d-0e803f2e754dPost:0bbdf922-6208-4e81-87b2-abb424ccb935">Re: Screaming children at ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Screaming children at ceremony : But how many times are you actually going to watch it? That's what I don't get. We used to tape everyone's graduation, birthday, etc, and ended up with a big box of tapes and DVDs that no one ever watched. Biggest waste of money ever, IMHO. But if you are going to watch it regularly to revel in the glory, then maybe $4k is worth it. Flame away,
    Posted by SarahPLiz[/QUOTE]

    I won't flame, because I actually kind of agree with that.  It just comes down to how important the video is to you.  At first I didn't want to have a wedding video at all because I thought the cost was just too ridiculous and, like you said - unless you're going to watch the thing every single day, is all that money even worth it?

    I mentioned those concerns to my pastor during one of our marriage counseling classes and he said "Well, I get what you're saying - and we almost didn't do a video either.  But I'm so glad we did because when we do watch it, it's a perfect recollection of one of the biggest days of our lives."  He gave it a thumbs up.  He's been married 20 years, and they watch it on special days and anniversaries, things like that.  I figure if he thinks it would be worth it, I could give it a shot.

    It just comes down to how important it is to the couple.  If you'd rather have a close friend just video it from the front row - that's totally fine.  But on the other hand if you feel like 4k is ok to spend, it's alright to make that investment too.
    panther
  • For our video, they put a mic on the officiant, which also captured my H and myself during the vows.  They didn't mic our readers, who were 4 feet away, and you can barely hear one of them on the "background" audio - the mic that's actually attached to the camera.  I don't think they'll have an issue editing crying babies out of the video.  But, if they do - that won't be an accurate representation of your wedding, if a baby actually does tune up, now, will it? 

    I'd just put the Quiet Room note in the program, and then leave the rest up to the professionals. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_screaming-children-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9802f33f-ba75-498e-b46d-0e803f2e754dPost:fd868869-1160-4ea3-a59b-c880085dec98">Re: Screaming children at ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]4K, thats ridiculous!  What does that all include?! 
    Posted by *BeachBride0410*[/QUOTE]

    Ditto.
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  • Yea, I agree that 4k is a lot. I tried out a few different videographers before making my choice. The one I hired...he makes beautiful films and there will be three videographers with us for over 12 hours. To me, it's worth the investment as my future husband and I will watch it, my parents and his parents will watch it, and I'm sending copies to my elderly grandparents who cannot make the trip for the wedding. When I first started planning the wedding, I didn't even have a second thought about having a videographer, but was given the website by my DJ/Master of Ceremonies. The videos on the site took my breath away and made me tear up...and I'm not someone who tears up!!

    Anyways, I didn't even think about the mics that we will be using as I'm sure that those will mitigate or even eliminate the problem.

    I would have liked to have a ceremony/reception without children, but it's pretty much impossible. My fiance and his family are from out of town and anyone who could watch their kids will also be at the wedding! Haha!
    Fast & Furious! Together - 10/17/09 Engaged - 1/1/10 Wedding - 8/20/2010
  • aragx6aragx6 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I don't think a videographer will end up fitting in our budget, but I totally agree that they can be stunning. I have seen a few of the really well done ones and they are truly fantastic.

    An uncle's amateur videotape will probably be put away and rarely looked at, but I could see watching a professional one at least once or twice a year.
    Lizzie
  • salt78salt78 member
    5000 Comments
    I can't believe that anyone would pay $4K for a video. That's like...how much my wedding cost. 
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  • Yes, $4,000 is a lot. I made cuts elsewhere in my budget to get excellent photographers, videographers, and a Master of Ceremonies. Those are the things that are important to my fiance and me. I'm a big believer in getting what you pay for and I've been a cheap a$$ my entire life. This is a day when I am allowing myself to be less so.

    Fast & Furious! Together - 10/17/09 Engaged - 1/1/10 Wedding - 8/20/2010
  • If the videographers properly mic the ceremony, you won't hear any crying babies.  He should use several wireless mics to get all the improtant stuff (readers, officiant, groom, musicians, etc) and then often has one mic to capture ambient noise (clapping, cheering, babies crying... :).  Assuming he does this, he can very easily edit out any crying noises.

    Don't worry!  Just ask the videographer to make sure, he'll probably reassure you very quickly that it will be fine.
  • Put it in the program and if a child starts crying, yelling, etc. then I am positive that the videographer can edit that out. I don't really see why the price you're paying has any relevance to this though.

    FWIW, in the middle our vows, our ringbearer slipped on the kneeler and cracked his head against the pew. He started crying, I'm sure it had to hurt but his mom picked him up and he was okay. I promise you that we did still get married and if it's in the video it will be an accurate account of the day as squirrly said.

  • L-BrideL-Bride member
    500 Comments
    edited June 2010

    All I have to add is that for 4k that video better clean my house and give me back rubs. I hope you watch your wedding video everyday for the rest of your life.

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  • forget the $4k.  i'm now blown away by TWELVE HOURS of coverage.  what kind of wedding takes 12 hours???
  • Most likley pre-wedding stuff like getting ready etc.

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  • Oh my gracious...I should have just left the price out of my original post - I was simply trying to get my point across. No, I won't be watching the video everyday; but when I do watch it, I want it to be awesome. I want to see everything that I may have missed and not risk forgetting the thousands of things that will make my wedding day special. I'm not asking anyone else to foot the bill, so I don't understand the upheaval.

    For those of you who made suggestions, thank you!! You certainly helped me out.

    Fast & Furious! Together - 10/17/09 Engaged - 1/1/10 Wedding - 8/20/2010
  • Haha no, my wedding is not 12 hours. But the videographers are taping hair, makeup, getting ready (me, my bridesmaids, my fiance, and his groomsmen), the ceremony (which is a Catholic ceremony and will likely last and hour and a half) and a five hour reception.

    Hair and makeup start at noon. Ceremony is at 5:30. Reception will last till midnight.
    Fast & Furious! Together - 10/17/09 Engaged - 1/1/10 Wedding - 8/20/2010
  • I was just keeding around, sheesh.
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  • momofaydenmomofayden member
    500 Comments
    edited June 2010
    Have the videographer at the front with you, they will also mic the groom.  Since it's in a church, they will probably have an assistant there and you can ask them to stand in the back and usher any screaming children out after a few minutes if they don't stop.

    Edited to add: at my cousins wedding, one of the BM's children was on a sugar high and stood next to the camera and screamed into it and jumped in front of it the entire ceremony.  It does happen but it probably won't.  just make a action plan if it does to prevent it ruining the taping.  
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