Gift-related; what's etiquette on this

hz80408

We were married in Oct 2010 and in some recent organizing we came around a card with a decent amount check from DH's 2nd cousins who were invited to the wedding but didn't come.

Do we send a thank you now and also say we're sorry for the inconvience to give a heads up that we'll cash the check (we haven't yet)? 

DH isn't really close with them at all (MIL insisted we invite them)

ETA:  ALthough it'd be nice to get the money fromt he check, we're really not concerned about that, plus it'd be obvious that we didn't cash it.  But we don't want to be rude and not thank them for the gesture.

thesequel

Absolutely.  You may even explain why it is late?

LovinLong11

checks are usually only good up to 6 months.

hz80408

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gift-related-whats-etiquette-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:98248008-3224-482b-a062-4dc22c50610bPost:ab96b2e8-b863-4ec7-bc7b-379156c1669a">Re: Gift-related; what's etiquette on this</a>:
[QUOTE]checks are usually only good up to 6 months.
Posted by LovinLong11[/QUOTE]

That's what we thought too....so should we just send a thank you for the gesture. and then it's up to them to determine that we haven't cashed it and decide if they want to send us a new one?

peanutty2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gift-related-whats-etiquette-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:98248008-3224-482b-a062-4dc22c50610bPost:67cc4a49-43be-4a69-864b-32fb81125158">Re: Gift-related; what's etiquette on this</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Gift-related; what's etiquette on this : That's what we thought too....so should we just send a thank you for the gesture. and then it's up to them to determine that we haven't cashed it and decide if they want to send us a new one?
Posted by hz80408[/QUOTE]
yes i'd definately send them a thank you card for their gift and apologize for it being late and jsut explain that it got lost in the shuffle... I would just leave it at that.  they may or may not issue another one.

tenofcups4me

I've never heard that personal checks have a time limit on them (doesn't mean they don't; I've just never heard they do). I'd go ahead and try to cash the check and send a thank you asap -- just briefly explain what happened, apologize and thank them.

cbratthauer

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gift-related-whats-etiquette-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:98248008-3224-482b-a062-4dc22c50610bPost:b64346d5-a8d4-4f21-a80e-c5bec58dcf36">Re: Gift-related; what's etiquette on this</a>:
[QUOTE]I've never heard that personal checks have a time limit on them (doesn't mean they don't; I've just never heard they do). I'd go ahead and try to cash the check and send a thank you asap -- just briefly explain what happened, apologize and thank them.
Posted by tenofcups4me[/QUOTE]

I think do this. I also don't know for sure, but I cashed a check over a year after it was written (it was a birthday check I completely forgot about) and I didn't have an issue cashing it. So maybe it depends on the bank?

hz80408

Thanks, all.  We'll send a TY tonight with an explanation and then maybe try to cash the check in a week. 

It's for $100, but in case it does cash, I want to give them a heads up that we'll be attempting.  Does that make sense?

midgetthemighty

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gift-related-whats-etiquette-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:98248008-3224-482b-a062-4dc22c50610bPost:caf457b2-a5f2-44f9-a251-7bc6e3db5dae">Re: Gift-related; what's etiquette on this</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks, all.  We'll send a TY tonight with an explanation and then maybe try to cash the check in a week.  It's for $100, but in case it does cash, I want to give them a heads up that we'll be attempting.  <strong>Does that make sense?
</strong>Posted by hz80408[/QUOTE]

That makes perfect sense because they wouldn't be expecting it to come out of their account <em>now</em>.

hz80408

Great, thanks.

katieisawesome

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gift-related-whats-etiquette-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:98248008-3224-482b-a062-4dc22c50610bPost:1d4063b3-26b7-4c66-b298-9953e32a657b">Gift-related; what's etiquette on this</a>:
[QUOTE]We were married in Oct 2010 and in some recent organizing we came around a card with a decent amount check from DH's 2nd cousins who were invited to the wedding but didn't come. Do we send a thank you now and also say we're sorry for the inconvience to give a heads up that we'll cash the check (we haven't yet)?  DH isn't really close with them at all (MIL insisted we invite them) ETA:  ALthough it'd be nice to get the money fromt he check, we're really not concerned about that, plus it'd be obvious that we didn't cash it.  But we don't want to be rude and not thank them for the gesture.
Posted by hz80408[/QUOTE]

<div>Most checks void after 90 or 180 days so you are probably out of luck.</div><div>
</div><div>(ETA: Read the other posts about cashing personal checks late... maybe you will be able to after all :) )</div>

ajroark

Most checks are void after 90 days, so I don't think it will clear. When the check didn't go through a month after the wedding, I'm pretty sure they would've noticed that and put a stop-payment on the check, assuming it was lost? I would definitely write a thank you note and explain what happened...you never know, they could write you a new check.

jessuhmarie

I think it's bank policy (unless it says on the check to void after a certain date). The bank I work for doesn't like taking personal checks after 6 months but we definitely won't take it if it's over a year. You should try your bank. I wouldn't ask because sometimes the teller might not even pay attention.

hz80408

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gift-related-whats-etiquette-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:98248008-3224-482b-a062-4dc22c50610bPost:7443c96f-c3e6-4abf-870f-7f4fe2410d2c">Re: Gift-related; what's etiquette on this</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's bank policy (unless it says on the check to void after a certain date). The bank I work for doesn't like taking personal checks after 6 months but we definitely won't take it if it's over a year. You should try your bank. I wouldn't ask because sometimes the teller might not even pay attention.
Posted by jessuhmarie[/QUOTE]

Maybe I'll just do an atm deposit? Lol, I know someone have to verify those, but we'll see.

mkrupar

I would tell them BEFORE trying to do anything. Maybe they don't have that $100.00 to give you now. It would be pretty crappy for you to try and cash it, it goes through, THEN they get the Thank You. I had someone cash a check 2 months late and I was pissed because I had forgotten about it and it surprised me when it hit my account. And that was only for $38.00.