F/U to "upstaged the bride"

PiscesFish

First:  Thank you ladies for your congratulations/advice.

Second:  To the person who asked, yes, my XH told me he was filing for divorce when we were told I'd need fertility treatments to conceive. Sad and crappy, but actually not as uncommon as one might like to think.

Third: I did speak to my sister yesterday, and the conversation didn't quite go as well as anticipated.  Perhaps I caught her on a bad day, but the reaction was "How did THAT happen? I thought you were infertile" and "Just because you're having a baby, doesn't mean you have to get married" and "Well, at least you have time to lose the weight so we don't have to get your dress altered."

So yeah. Fun.  But I didn't want you ladies to think I was ignoring you or didn't appreciate the advice. Also, I think I may stick around, this is helpful/entertaining.

wadingmoose

I missed the first post but wow.  You've got some awfully supportive people in your life there.

tidetravel

I don't remember the exact post, but that's a horrible thing to say to you.

I don't know if I would even bother attending a wedding for some
one like that.

ETA:  I remember the post now.  Your sister and her entire family suck.

blackfire5th

Oh no!  I'm so sorry your sister responded like that!  Hopefully she will come to her senses and apologize.  Either way, I think it is great that you were able to conceive and I see no problem with moving the wedding date to before the baby is born.

sarah0725

Oh good god that is awful. You should send your sister over here; we'll take care of her for you.

Also, congratulations on the miracle baby!

arv266

fyi... as a "former" infertile woman (who is the mother of two wonderful children) it does take two to tango, and two to be fertile...    You found your fertility match and I wish you all the best!

rknox88

Man, I am sure your sister's reaction hurt.  Hopefully though she will think about it a little more and realize what a joyous time it will be/can be for the both of you.  Also, she will get to be a new aunt once your little one arrives.  It is pretty hard to hold a grudge when you are holding a beautiful baby in your arms.

Congrats both on your engagement and your pregnancy!

PiscesFish

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fu-upstaged-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:98b19a32-0618-409d-bf97-52a19f5bd24bPost:740fd110-e5f7-4bff-b373-59f46c99f3af">Re: F/U to "upstaged the bride"</a>:
[QUOTE]fyi... as a "former" infertile woman (who is the mother of two wonderful children) it does take two to tango, and two to be fertile...  ;)  You found your fertility match and I wish you all the best!
Posted by arv266[/QUOTE]

How awesome!  Congrats to you too!  I'm in the middle of planning 2 showers for surprise babies whose parents were told they'd never conceive without IVF. While of course there are some couples who definitely need assistance, all these erroneous infertility diagnoses make me wonder if it's not some marketing campaign by the IVF clinics... this is another discussion entirely though.

So the weird thing was with that convo, my sister stated she was happy, and indicated she still wants me to be her MOH!   <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-embarassed.gif" border="0" alt="Embarassed" title="Embarassed" />  I think I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt, and a few days to process/cool off...

sarah0725

I just read your OP again, and now I am double mad. Your sister has some nerve thinking she can claim an entire year as her wedding year, especially when she's only been married for a couple of weeks. I'd imagine that you haven't even bought a dress yet, considering it would be crazy to buy a dress now for (I'm guessing) fall 2011, so what does it matter? Oooh, I am boiling. I think I want to kick your sister in the face.

Simply Fated

I remember your original post!

I can't say I'm surprised by your sister's response, since she sounded like an AW.

I will say, "IN YOUR FACE!" to your ex who ditched you for having difficulties conceiving. I feel really bad for his next victim, I mean, wife, though.

PiscesFish

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fu-upstaged-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:98b19a32-0618-409d-bf97-52a19f5bd24bPost:7038ac5a-ac4b-4784-85f6-3f183691972e">Re: F/U to "upstaged the bride"</a>:
[QUOTE]I remember your original post! <3 I can't say I'm surprised by your sister's response, since she sounded like an AW. Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

Actually, she's pretty quiet/shy....  it's her fam who accuses me of being the "upstager" usually.  Her reaction was highly uncharacteristic and took me by surprise. Not in the good way.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fu-upstaged-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:98b19a32-0618-409d-bf97-52a19f5bd24bPost:7038ac5a-ac4b-4784-85f6-3f183691972e">Re: F/U to "upstaged the bride"</a>:
[QUOTE]
I will say, "IN YOUR FACE!" to your ex who ditched you for having difficulties conceiving. I feel really bad for his next victim, I mean, wife, though.
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]
But, but but...  don't ALL good Christians dump their infertile wives' barren azzes?  My FI and I are lucky I was even willing to consider so much as going on a date after that experience.

notquiteblushing

I'm sorry your sister is being a jerk.  But hey you're having a baby and getting married so focus on the positives.

andy71781

What a b your sister is being right now.  I'm sure that its just her initial reaction - give her a couple weeks and see how she feels.  I bet you she will calm down and realize she's acting like a spolied brat and be happy for you...because you have a lot to be happy about!

emilyann21

I really hope your sister comes around. I'm in the opposite boat you are in (although my younger sister didn't have fertility issues). I got engaged in August and the wedding is planned for this September. My sister tells me at Christmas that she's pregnant and due a month before my wedding. I was happy for her although had some resentment issues (at first) about her stealing my thunder. I know it sounds pointless now and I know it but she never found out. This baby was a blessing in disguise and I can't wait to become an aunt again. I really hope, for your sake and your sisters, that she comes around soon and realizes how ungrateful and bratty she sounded when she said that to you. Good luck and I really hope things work out. Btw...CONGRATS!!!!

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fu-upstaged-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:98b19a32-0618-409d-bf97-52a19f5bd24bPost:0f6b624c-d996-4beb-8e0f-6c92a447d718">Re: F/U to "upstaged the bride"</a>:
[QUOTE] But, but but...  don't ALL good Christians dump their infertile wives' barren azzes? 
Posted by PiscesFish[/QUOTE]
Nope, only jerks do that, lol<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif" border="0" alt="Tongue out" title="Tongue out" />

Theresa626

I cannot believe your first husband.  That is sooo terrible.  I am soo sorry that happened to you.  How devastating.  But, I don't know if you are religious at all but perhaps that was God saying this is not the right person for you to have kids with.  If he left you over that and you had had kids, it might've been something else down the line and it would've been worse with kids.  Maybe now you are pregnant because it is with the right person.  And what a wonderful thing to happen, especially with the man you were already planning to marry.  How blessed you are.  Anyway, I'm sorry your sister feels that way and perhaps it will get better over time.  

Theresa626

Also, I just wanted to add that I totally read this as F**K you to "upstaged the bride" I thought you were pissed at the OP

PiscesFish

So it's been a few days, sufficient time to cool off, no?  Is it on my sister to call me and re-attempt contact, or is it on me?