Shower after elopment

tastywicked

Okay, so I am the MOH for my friend on her second marriage.  She did the JOP thing the first time w/ just parents.  Now she decided to elope with just MOH and Best Man.  They are trowing a big reception approx 6 months after wedding date.
I feel that having a shower would be inappropriate but I can't find any ettiquete on this specific sitiation.
My feelings is no shower but do a girls night out so people can bring gifts if they want but not feel obligated. 
I've had big push back from the groom's family and one bridesmaid, but all other bridesmaids agree that a huge shower is inappropriate.  The mother of the groom said that she is going to do a shower and invite her family. 
The bride is now saying she does not want a shower I think because her husband has been talking to her about it because he is pushing his mom to do a big shower.
HELP PLEASE!!!!

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

1. Is she even registered? Some people consider that tacky in itself for a second wedding. And you sort of need a registry to do a shower.

2. Yes, it is inappropriate to do it after an elopement. It should be before the wedding and involve people who are invited TO the wedding.

A girls' night out sounds like a much better alternative.

danieliza1127

I definitely don't think she should have a shower.  She is already married. 

amlaplante

FI's cousin did a small wedding on a dock w/ immediate family in March. Now they are planning on having a bigger wedding (ceremony and reception) in June at a church so everyone else can see them get married again. She is also having a bridal shower before the big wedding in June even though she is already married and living with her husband. It's driving me crazy and I think it's completely tacky.

If your friend is already married she doesn't get a bridal shower. Period. If she wanted all the parties and showers that go along with a traditional engagement and wedding then she shouldn't have eloped.

missy68

A shower would be inappropriate for this married wife. 

However, there isn't anything wrong with having a registry if it's her second marriage, especially if it's the groom's first.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-after-elopment?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9938cac1-54b9-42c9-a52e-9bba2eb3a7d2Post:2d691104-8fc8-4db2-a8a0-f96fe572dd49">Re: Shower after elopment</a>:
[QUOTE]FI's cousin did a small wedding on a dock w/ immediate family in March. Now they are planning on having a bigger wedding (ceremony and reception) in June at a church so everyone else can see them get married again.
Posted by amlaplante[/QUOTE]
this is so stupid. why do people insist on doing this crap?

allisong23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-after-elopment?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9938cac1-54b9-42c9-a52e-9bba2eb3a7d2Post:458b42e9-5ab8-41ef-907f-58a18d8d014b">Re: Shower after elopment</a>:
[QUOTE]With showers, the etiquette rules are that 1) the shower goes before the first wedding.  Second marriages don't get showers.  2) Only those invited to the actual wedding should be invited to the shower.  Having a reception later doesn't change that.   So, this would most certainly be inappropriate.  
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

Number 1 isnot true at all, especially if it is the first wedding for one of the people.