Wedding Etiquette Forum

Bridesmaid issue. How to be sensitive?

One of my bridesmaids is my step-sister.  We aren't very close, but it was important to my dad to have family in my WP. She's not a bad person, but she also isn't friendly by any stretch of the imagination. 

Anyway, we found out she was 6 weeks pregnant at Christmas. A few weeks later she told me she didn't want to be a bridesmaid anymore because she would be almost 8 months pregnant at my wedding. Fine. No hard feelings at all. We left it that she would come as a guest and sit with my parents during the ceremony. 

2 weeks ago she had a miscarriage. She is very upset (understandably). 

Anyway, I am getting together with the remaining of my bridesmaids to finally order their dresses in 2 weeks. It's in limbo right now what my step-sister wants to do. I have a feeling she doesn't even want to be in the wedding party at all anymore because she's older and doesn't know anyone. 

How do I gracefully handle this? Do I send a message to all of my bridesmaids about the date we're getting together to order the dresses and see if she responds or ignores it? Or do I pick up the phone and see if she wants to be a bridesmaid again? 

I know I'm probably over-thinking this, but I don't want to be insensitive, so I would appreciate your advice on how to proceed with her tactfully. 

Thanks girls! 
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