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SallyBelle1212

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polichik

I've been planning my wedding for over two years, and we had our guest list pretty much hammered out about a year ago. If we'd added everyone we've since met and liked, our numbers would have doubled.

There are many other chances to hang out with her. Please don't hold this against her. And even though you may have been able to afford to invite them, "regardless of the added cost for two extra guests," many can't.

apple_green

Sometimes it's just not possible if they have a set number of people they can allow. I know it sucks and probably stings a bit. Try to stay positive...

mocha beans

There could be a multitude of reasons she isn't able to invite you.  Budget constraints, maybe they're pushing it already.  Venue, maybe they're at capacity already.  I woudln't take it personally.

emyinpink

Definitely don't be offended! We're over a year out, and already having to start to lock down on the guest list and make cuts. If we met someone just a few months before the wedding, without a real surprise with people not coming, we wouldn't be able to invite them, and that in now way indicates the level of potential future friendship.

eastunder1

It's not a keggar where you invite every person you've ever known, it's a wedding.  You may get along wonderfully and have hit it off these past 90 days, but compared to the list of friends and family she has known for years and years, thats a drop in the bucket.  Try not to take it personally.  

Also consider that at some point, a couple has to cut it off and say "that is that".  If you invite every awesome person you ever met between getting engaged and getting married, you'd add an extra fifty people to the list.    It can be a slippery slope.

Like others said, you have no way of knowing her circumstances, financial or otherwise.  Maybe her adding one person would have opened the floodgates to her mother wanting to tack on ten.  Maybe they are over capacity or over extended on the budget.  Maybe her wedding is very expensive and while she likes you, she doesn't feel your friendship is quite "there" yet considering the costs it would take to invite you.    There's just no way of knowing and it would be terribly out of line to ask, so do your best to let it go.   It sucks to feel left out, but your friendship is what matter is the end. 

polichik

East, your new bunny makes me think of Disapproving Rabbits, of which I approve.

eastunder1

I just googled disaproving rabbits.  Me likey!

mysticl

Don't take it personally.  I'm a little over 2 months out.  At this point the guest list is 4 people over the capacity of our venue (6 if you count FI and me) so we are counting on some people not attending.  Therefore, we could not add a new friend no matter how much we liked the person.  Now if enough people declined then maybe I could extend a last minute invite but I'm really not a fan of that. 

marisah83

There could be a lot of reasons why she isn't inviting you.  Even though you wouldn't hesitate to invite her if you were in her situation, maybe financially it just isn't possible, or maybe it is like a pp said and inviting you would create lots of family drama about inviting other people.  I really don't think it is an intentional slap in the face.

dco324

As PP said there could be many reasons for not being invited.  That being said, you could mention to the bride if it comes up again that you wish you could share the special day with her if possible.  Or the bride could be waiting for RSVPs to determine if you could be fit in.

Regardless, this is probably a stressful time for your new friend.  The best thing you can do is be a friend for her.

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_recently-met-bride-become-close-her-but-am-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:99a2fb5e-05fe-47b0-8c33-9bb4b80d5108Post:ea7d3313-ebb2-4ff9-915c-9bf0b1d97c7b">Recently met the bride and have become close to her but am not invited to the wedding...</a>:
[QUOTE]I met the bride through a mutual friend about 3 months ago.  We instantly hit it off and have been spending a lot of time together ever since.  I would say we've become quite close.  Her wedding, which she's been planning for over a year, is to take place in a month and half.  While we were hanging out this evening, she said something along the lines of, "Gosh, I really wish I'd met you sooner.  It would be so awesome if you could come to my wedding.  But I know you understand how it is."  I was a little surprised but said that of course I understand.  And I kind of thought I did at the time.  But now that I'm giving it some more thought...I'm not sure I actually do.  At my own wedding, it would have been no big deal to add two more guests to the list a month and a half before the wedding date.   Granted, my wedding was pretty informal, and we didn't pay a fortune for catering.  So maybe I don't have a very good perspective here.   Can somebody help me understand this situation?  Is it odd that my husband and I aren't invited? <strong> no</strong>  Even though I haven't known the bride that long, she seems like an old friend to me.  I've even hung out with her family.  I feel sure that if I were getting married now, even if I already had the catering and the seating arrangements and everything else done, I would still invite her, regardless of the added cost for two extra guests. <strong>She's not you</strong>.  Please share your thoughts.  <strong>You're wasting too much energy wondering about this.</strong>
Posted by SallyBelle1212[/QUOTE]

SallyBelle1212

Thank you all so much for the responses.  I agree with your general consensus whole-heartedly and feel much better about the situation now.  I just needed to get some feedback from those of you who have been in similar situations (since I'm so out of it when it comes to wedding stuff).  Of course I will continue to develop this friendship (there was never any question of that) and will hopefully get to see lots of pictures.  I'm not going to take this personally at all.   :-)

Thanks again.