Wedding Etiquette Forum
Options

Bridal/ couple shower question

Hello ladies! It is getting closer to the big day and I am wondering how big should the bridal/ couple shower invite list be? Is it suppose to be an intimate thing like a baby shower or am I suppose to invite everyone we are inviting to the wedding?

Re: Bridal/ couple shower question

  • Options
    You need to talk to the person/people hosting your shower and ask them how many people they can afford to host.  Then give them a list of your nearest and dearest family and friends.

    You do not have to invite everyone from your wedding list.  Showers are typically about the bride/couples close friends and family.  But with that said I just attended a shower that had 60 people so to each their own.

  • Options
    Well, first, you shouldn't be throwing your own shower. That's super tacky. 

    If someone else is hosting, I think it should be max 30 people. People get very bored with much more since it takes so long to open gifts. 
  • Options

    Did the host give you a number? They usually do...

  • Options
    Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited January 2013
    I would check with the host, first and see what he/she/they had in mind as far as size goes and work from there.

    I always suggest inviting in circles. then, you keep inviting circles until you hit the limit you and the host agreed on.
    So...
    You and fiance (duh)
    Bridal party
    parents
    grandparents
    siblings
    aunts and uncles
    cousins
    friends
    further extended family


    image
  • Options
    Most female-only showers I attend have between 10-25 guests.

    Being that yours is a couples shower, I'd assume the host(s) would maybe plan for a few more than that, but they will ask you for a list when they're ready to plan/send out invitations.

    I know one bride on here a few months ago (can't remember her name) insisted on like two hundred people being invited to her shower. Obnoxious. Don't be like that bride!
  • Options
    My MOH is throwing the shower for me and asked how many people I wanted to invite so that she knows how big of a room to reserve. I have never been to a bridal shower so I am not sure how things are suppose to go. The close female friends and family sounds really nice to me. I just have a lot of female family members, 5 bridesmaids and then close friends I think it will be at least 40 if I did it that way. Is that too many? Considering the actual guest list is 200 will people feel bad if they aren't invited to the shower or do most understand its an intimate thing?
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-couple-shower-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:99fb7626-0be2-401d-ad60-97405c0b43a3Post:11639738-50f6-42d1-ac6f-fcc9875951d1">Re:Bridal/ couple shower question</a>:
    [QUOTE]My MOH is throwing the shower for me and asked how many people I wanted to invite so that she knows how big of a room to reserve. I have never been to a bridal shower so I am not sure how things are suppose to go. The close female friends and family sounds really nice to me. I just have a lot of female family members, 5 bridesmaids and then close friends I think it will be at least 40 if I did it that way. Is that too many? Considering the actual guest list is 200 will people feel bad if they aren't invited to the shower or do most understand its an intimate thing?
    Posted by krystelgotti[/QUOTE]
    Is that 40 total or just 40 women?
    I mean, either way, run the number by your MOH and ask if it's okay. She might have to adjust the location and food based on the amount of people, no problem. If she looks like she's gasping for air, then offer to cut the guest list lol.

    Most people understand that not everyone can be invited to a shower, so don't sweat that.
    image
  • Options

    The population of your shower should be much less than your wedding itself.  Only your nearest and dearest usually attend the shower portion.  You automatically lose near 50% of your guest list because most men would rather not attend showers, and it's not traditional for them to.

    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

    image

    Anniversary

  • Options
    The bridal shower generally consists of immediate female family members, some extended female family members (close aunts and cousins, grandmothers), bridesmaids, maybe a few parents' friends if they're invited to the wedding, and any other close lady friends you have. For a couples shower, go by the same rules, but with close women AND men in your family/friends circle. Because you're essentially doubling the number of people, you may need to scale back.

    Regardless, check with your MOH and see how many people she can accomodate. Then you can go from there. I've seen anywhere from 15-50 people attend a shower, but I think smaller showers (20-30 people) are a little more enjoyable, because then the bride/couple can interact with people more easily, there's more booze to be had (assuming that there is a budget), and you spend less time opening gifts, which, it's safe to say, is rather boring for everyone but the bride/couple. :)


  • Options
    Run the 40 person guest list by our MOH. Make sure she and whoever else is helping her is ok with hosting 40 people money wise. Honestly, I am a BM for my friends upcoming wedding and me and the rest of the bridal party are hosting a shower. Her sister/MOH is the lead planner and said that we are looking at about 40 people. IMO I think that is a bit high but to each their own. As long as your MOH is ok with the number then that is all that matters.

  • Options
    So I talked with my moh and she said the place she wants to do it at has 2 rooms, one holds a max of 40 people and the other holds a max of 70. It is a hall so its a bring your own food place so I feel better that the bank isn't going to be broken hosting this party for me and the other bridesmaids are all chipping in. So I could go higher on the guest list but I am think 40 is good without being over the top.
  • Options
    Keep in mind you will probably be opening all these gifts during the party itself - that's sort of the point.  My shower has 25 people invited, and we are thinking about 20 will be there.  That's plenty to open in my opinion. It will probably last 30-40 minutes if I ooh and ahh over each gift, and then it doesn't turn into a marathon.  The marathon is the wedding gifts.  People don't need to see that.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-couple-shower-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:99fb7626-0be2-401d-ad60-97405c0b43a3Post:38e0f00f-b360-46c4-b9e2-066769892792">Re:Bridal/ couple shower question</a>:
    [QUOTE]So I talked with my moh and she said the place she wants to do it at has 2 rooms, one holds a max of 40 people and the other holds a max of 70. <strong>It is a hall so its a bring your own food place so I feel better that the bank isn't going to be broken </strong>hosting this party for me and the other bridesmaids are all chipping in. So I could go higher on the guest list but I am think 40 is good without being over the top.
    Posted by krystelgotti[/QUOTE]
    Please keep in mind that sometimes it can be just as expensive, if not more, to cater your own food. I mean, first there's the rent for the place itself. Then the food. The chafing dishes, serving dishes, heater thingies, serving spoons, utensils, plates, napkins, linens, condoments... Then there are the drinks, the ice, etc.
    So when she says you can happily go to 70 people, please keep in mind that 40 is cheaper than 70.
    I'm speaking from a former MOH who wishes she had just thrown the bridal shower at a restaurant.
    image
  • Options
    Oh ok, I didn't really consider that. I guess I am just use to a big party crowd. Even for the baby showers we throw around here the have at least 50 people at them. I never really thought about the openning the presents part as being long, they usually served dessert and were openning stuff while people ate so I didn't really focus on the time it took.
  • Options
    In Response to Re:Bridal/ couple shower question:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Bridal/ couple shower question:So I talked with my moh and she said the place she wants to do it at has 2 rooms, one holds a max of 40 people and the other holds a max of 70. It is a hall so its a bring your own food place so I feel better that the bank isn't going to be broken hosting this party for me and the other bridesmaids are all chipping in. So I could go higher on the guest list but I am think 40 is good without being over the top.Posted by krystelgottiPlease keep in mind that sometimes it can be just as expensive, if not more, to cater your own food. I mean, first there's the rent for the place itself. Then the food. The chafing dishes, serving dishes, heater thingies, serving spoons, utensils, plates, napkins, linens, condoments... Then there are the drinks, the ice, etc. So when she says you can happily go to 70 people, please keep in mind that 40 is cheaper than 70.I'm speaking from a former MOH who wishes she had just thrown the bridal shower at a
    restaurant. Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]
    Thanks for letting me know about this, we were looking at resturants that do party catering too. There was a pretty good Mexican food place that said they will do like rice, beans, tacos enchiladas etc and drinks for 50 people for 200 dollars. Thats not too bad compared to what some other places were saying!
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-couple-shower-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:99fb7626-0be2-401d-ad60-97405c0b43a3Post:6a2134a5-7c84-4677-8823-0e321ab6a12b">Re:Bridal/ couple shower question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Bridal/ couple shower question: Thanks for letting me know about this, we were looking at resturants that do party catering too. There was a pretty good Mexican food place that said they will do like rice, beans, tacos enchiladas etc and drinks for 50 people for 200 dollars. Thats not too bad compared to what some other places were saying!
    Posted by krystelgotti[/QUOTE]
    Wow, not bad at all!
    image
  • Options
    Yeah thankfully around here they have a lot of restaurants that do catering for cheap. Check out yelp and put in cheap catering and all kinds of places should pop up!
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards