Attend shower or not?

blankslate25

I'm invited to a shower my MIL is throwing for her close friend's daughter. The two families have been close for many years although their children do not keep in touch with one another. (Ex: The MOB & FOB were invited to and attended my wedding. MOB was invited but did not attend my bridal shower.) Honestly I don't particularly want to attend, but feel obligated since I was invited. I've met the bride once, about 3-4 years ago. I would have to reintroduce myself to her at her bridal shower, which seems like a red flag to me. My SIL will not be present at the shower, as she has prior plans to be out of town. Is it appropriate to attend a bridal shower for a bride I do not know because it's hosted by my MIL?

misshart00

I think it's fine to decline. That sounds super awkward. Are you even invited to the wedding?

harper0813

Blank,

You are not obligated to attend - even if it's being held by your MIL. This sounds like a gift grab and but since your SIL was invited, I do understand why your MIL invited you.

Among the guests on my shower list, the only people who I don't know well are my mom's friends, but even they know me well enough to know my fiance's name and to have met him several times.

If you'd like, you can send a card and/or gift, but again, there's no obligation.

MuppetOverlord

I  wouldn't go

steign

I wouldn't go.

blankslate25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_attend-shower-or-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9a23c1ab-5080-4212-89cb-d390a5a6080bPost:d51a8d2d-f3d4-4a0d-8415-76fe08bb5aec">Re:Attend shower or not?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's fine to decline. That sounds super awkward. Are you even invited to the wedding?
Posted by misshart00[/QUOTE]

I would *assume* so, since I'm invited to the shower...but I have no confirmation on that. I wasn't expecting a wedding invitation prior to this development.

OwningAHome1981

How would your MIL feel if you don't go? That's something to take ionto consideration as well though.

blankslate25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_attend-shower-or-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9a23c1ab-5080-4212-89cb-d390a5a6080bPost:9b476b25-7271-4e27-a43e-d7e01930251b">Re: Attend shower or not?</a>:
[QUOTE]How would your MIL feel if you don't go? That's something to take ionto consideration as well though.
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

Yea, that's my only hesitation in declining. I don't want her to feel snubbed, for lack of a better word.

misshart00

In Response to Re:Attend shower or not?:[QUOTE]Are you invited to the wedding? Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]

She said she assumed so but doesn't know for sure.

AJuliaNJ

Please do not feel obligated to attend. You aren't. She may have even extended the invitation to be nice and make you feel included, and not because she expects you to attend.

I would probably attend to support my MIL, because I love gatherings, and I really don't know any women in my new city.

I would definitely ask her if you are invited to the wedding. If not, you can say you don't really feel right about attending the shower. You can help your MIL in other ways if you feel so inclined like offering to help set up or put together favors.