Do you fake it?

Badgerengr

In old-school V6 fashion, I've been reading the sex and romance thread and was wondering just how common this is.

polichik

Nope. Doesn't help anybody.

ohwhynot

Not in this relationship.  I made a promise to myself that this time around I wouldn't accept anything less than what my partner would accept, and I can't honestly see a man just figuring sex was good enough without it and faking it. 

ZRex

Agreed, Poli.  I just think it's kind of silly to fake because then he'll keep doing the same terrible things over and over again.

sarabellam

Nope, if it's not happenin' for me, he needs to know it. Not that that happens often...

Badgerengr

Here's a follow up question:

For those of you who don't ever fake it, do you always get off?

kimheartsscott

Nope.  It doesn't happen often (thanks to my body, not his lack of effort) and honestly, it just makes me exhausted anyway.  But I have never faked it.

sarabellam

And by "that," I mean the not happenin'. I'm a lucky woman.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fake?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9a3a240b-f135-418d-840c-ea0824ebe6b5Post:992fb300-8688-4873-845f-20baf1517e7b">Re: Do you fake it?</a>:
[QUOTE]Here's a follow up question: For those of you who don't ever fake it, do you always get off?
Posted by Badgerengr[/QUOTE]

Yes. I make sure I do, one way or another. With his participation, of course.

Sorry, I think it's an important part of sex. If you can have great sex without it, good for you, but I always feel unsatisfied if I don't.

sarabellam

Not always, but that's okay.

louisvillebride21

I think if one were to have to do it every time, it would put way too much pressure on sex.

kimheartsscott

I agree with LVB.  It helps that I don't necessarily want to all the time, though. 

september's bride

Sex is really an "overall" kind of experience. It's not important to always have earth-shattering, mind-blowing sex. Rather, I think it's more important that you and your partner just spend time enjoying each other and being intimate. It's a give and take thing, at least in my opinion.

kimheartsscott

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fake?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9a3a240b-f135-418d-840c-ea0824ebe6b5Post:2a0619dc-5333-4f31-bb2c-75c95d7c1db3">Re: Do you fake it?</a>:
[QUOTE]Sex is really an "overall" kind of experience. It's not important to always have earth-shattering, mind-blowing sex. <strong>Rather, I think it's more important that you and your partner just spend time enjoying each other and being intimate.</strong> It's a give and take thing, at least in my opinion.
Posted by september's bride[/QUOTE]

I think this is why I always really want sex when I'm sad.  My FI understands that, but I don't think he<em> gets</em> it, because all he wants to do when he is sad is lay in bed and hold me.  I want that, but afterward. 

kd.joseph

No I never fake it. My FI and I have a healthy relationship and talk a lot outside the bedroom. But no I cant always get there. And that's ok.

As for the douching most gynecologist recommend you don't.

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fake?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9a3a240b-f135-418d-840c-ea0824ebe6b5Post:dafe1272-39d1-4c6a-bfea-22b20b299d8c">Re: Do you fake it?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do you fake it? : I think this is why I always really want sex when I'm sad.  My FI understands that, but I don't think he gets it, because all he wants to do when he is sad is lay in bed and hold me.  I want that, but afterward. 
Posted by kimheartsscott[/QUOTE]

Kim- I wonder what the stats are on people who have sex after hearing of a death, or other traumatic experience. Reaffirming life and all.

Badgerengr

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fake?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9a3a240b-f135-418d-840c-ea0824ebe6b5Post:03a380b7-fcfd-416a-8aed-6c7faa08331d">Re: Do you fake it?</a>:
[QUOTE]No I never fake it. My FI and I have a healthy relationship and talk a lot outside the bedroom. But no I cant always get there. And that's ok. As for the douching most gynecologist recommend you don't.
Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I know that it's highly frowned upon medically. I kind of assumed it was a redneck/older person thing that got phased out, but then I read about it recently from a younger girl and I was kinda shocked. Icky.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I don't think a douching poll would be any more TMI than this, really.

katiewhompus

I've faked it with bf's in the past but never with Dh. My body is pretty hit or miss with me having one and he always apologizes when I don't (and I always tell him not to). It may sound incredibly sappy and cliche but with him sex really is more about the intimacy and being connected to each other than just having an orgasm.

I also never had an orgasm through sex before Dh, so I guess part of it is I'm used to it not being an all the time thing.

redheadfsu

I never fake. We are both very comfortable with each other & can talk/ show/figure out what ones needs to get there. But I don't always get there, just most of the time. Plus my orgasms differ in intensity & number depending on my mood/ the mood. 

impslave

I did with my ex-boyfriend.  I couldn't get him to understand that I didn't always get off with intercourse.  So I would fake it just to get it over with.

DH is a different story.  He is always asking what I want and how.  And he doesn't get offended if I don't make it all the way. 

ashmy211

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fake?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9a3a240b-f135-418d-840c-ea0824ebe6b5Post:dcceb604-7086-4380-8e93-de1ee70069c9">Re: Do you fake it?</a>:
[QUOTE]I've faked it with bf's in the past but never with Dh. My body is pretty hit or miss with me having one and he always apologizes when I don't (and I always tell him not to). It may sound incredibly sappy and cliche but with him sex really is more about the intimacy and being connected to each other than just having an orgasm. I also never had an orgasm through sex before Dh, so I guess part of it is I'm used to it not being an all the time thing.
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

I agree with everything you said, 100%

kimheartsscott

I would be interested in knowing the flip-side of this, how many FIs/Hs are willing to have sex with out the ultimate, sticky goal?

lisarose7

Never with FI....only with previous hookups.  There have only been 2 times in the last 7 1/2 years with FI I haven't gotten off.  I'm a lucky girl.

andyandhillary

I did about 5 years ago with FI maybe twice but...that was 5 years ago...I think that was the last time. 

shoegal715

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fake?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9a3a240b-f135-418d-840c-ea0824ebe6b5Post:4016cddd-ff1d-4e1b-aa21-39853da4998f">Re: Do you fake it?</a>:
[QUOTE]Never with FI....only with previous hookups.  There have only been 2 times in the last 7 1/2 years with FI I haven't gotten off.  I'm a lucky girl. :)
Posted by lisarose7[/QUOTE]

<div>bitch ... lol </div>

thesuninherhead

I never do... and it's very, very rare for me to be in a situation where there'd be any need to do so.