Wedding Etiquette Forum

Invitation questions (only two)

Obviously, I'm not at the point where I'm sending invitations yet, but these two questions popped into my brain and I figured I might as well try to get them answered before I forget about them.
1.  Must social units be invited together?  The bestman and his gf live in different parts of the state due to grad school.  Do we sent one invitation to him with a +1?  Invite each of them separately without +1s?  They'd both be invited whether or not they're a unit, if that makes a difference.
2. Some of our friends are in college and therefore have two addresses.  Should STDs and invitations go to their permenant address or college address?  Both STDs and invitations will be mailed out during semesters so they'll be away at school at the time of mailing.

Thanks in advance for the advice. 
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Re: Invitation questions (only two)

  • Please for the love of god, go to the invitations board. If I read one more post title about invitations, I might scratch my eyes out.
  • 1) Yes they must.  I would not send them a "+1" however.  Both of their names should be on the invitation. 

    In this instance, I would probably send them each an inviatation, since they live separately and would both be invited if they weren't dating.

    2) I'd send it to whichever address is easiest for them to receive mail. In most cases, that would likely be the college address.
  • 1.  This is a personal preferancem I would send them both one especially since they are living away from eachother but if you choose not to I don't think it would be a big deal.  Just let whomever you decide to send the invite to if it is only one person that they have a plus one.

    2.  I would send it to only their permanent address.  When I asked most of my friends still of college age where to send it 9 times out of 10 they said their parents house.
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  • Go with Muni's answer
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  • 1. Since you're inviting both of them anyway, it probably doesn't really matter but I would just do the one invitation with Mr. BM and GF (NAME).

    2. I would send it to whichever address they will be at when the invitations go out.
  • 1) If they're both individually invited, send both of them an invitation. Since they're the best man and his girlfriend, they're close enough friends that they know you know to seat them together as a couple. People who are that close to you don't really pay attention to invitations, except as souvenirs. Our moms were surprised they got one.

    2) Send it to their school address, but if they're must-haves, you should have an e-mail follow-up for them. (EX: Hey everyone, I just wanted you to know that your save-the-dates are in the mail! The wedding is Day/Date/Year and we're really excited for you to come!) College mailrooms are notoriously unreliable, and people who live in dorms or even off-campus apartments often don't get important mail, especially cards (cash thieves.)
  • 1. I'd send one to each of them since you're friends with both. I'd probably let them both know ahead of time that that's what you're doing.

    2. Send it to where they're most likely to receive it. Sounds like that would be the school address. We're having an anniversary party for my parents in a few months and I just emailed the 3 college kids to get their school addresses so I could send them their invitations directly.
  • 1) When I got married we invited a couple that was long distance (he lived in the same town as us and she lives in AZ).  I sent the invite to her only but with both of their names on it.  They both knew they were invited and he even told me to send it to her...that he would probably lose it and forget to send the RSVP in.  So I think just sending it to one half of the couple with both of their names on it is fine.

    2) Send the invite to whichever address will work best at that time.

  • Fine. Make me look like the jerk.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invitation-questions-only-two?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9a474089-788a-4a62-b756-d649d10f99e0Post:51b1def5-eb81-449a-a3e6-fef6d039d0d4">Re: Invitation questions (only two)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Please for the love of god, go to the invitations board. If I read one more post title about invitations, I might scratch my eyes out.
    Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]

    Sorry, I actually really don't like the invitation board.  People think the ladies on the e-board are nuts, well, that board takes the cake for me.  I was told that I should have planned my wedding date based on when I have to send the invitations when I asked about mailing them early due to the insanity that is the post office between Thanksgiving and Xmas.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invitation-questions-only-two?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9a474089-788a-4a62-b756-d649d10f99e0Post:a9d13e11-db9f-4755-ab14-13fd857b7a91">Re: Invitation questions (only two)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invitation questions (only two) : Sorry, I actually really don't like the invitation board.  People think the ladies on the e-board are nuts, well, that board takes the cake for me. <strong> I was told that I should have planned my wedding date based on when I have to send the invitations when I asked about mailing them early due to the insanity that is the post office between Thanksgiving and Xmas.</strong>
    Posted by Starqueg[/QUOTE]

    LOL.  God, you suck at planning, clearly.
  • Well dur.  That's why no one ever gets married in February or March.
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  • I'm just going to assume the two of you are sarcastic like me and continue giggling. 

    Thanks for the advice.  I'll ask the BM and his gf where they'd prefer getting mail and if they care how stuff is addressed/worded. 
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  • 1) In those situations we are sending each an individual invite (since even if they weren't dating we would be inviting them)

    People who are truly "plus 1s" (aka they wouldn't have been invited if they weren't dating someone who was invited) we will be putting both names on the same envelope

    2) Ask them which address they would prefer (give a timeline of when it will arrive)

    I had some guests in this situation when I sent out my Save the Dates.  I asked which address they preferred.  Most had me send to their permanent address because the mail is more reliable, but I did have a few that requested I send to their temporary address.
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