Living with FI's dog that I'm severely allergic to

elizabeth121985

Just wanted to see if any of you ladies had any advice I haven't thought of yet.  I'm extremely allergic to FI's dog.  I absolutely love him, but any time I'm even in the same room as him my eyes almost welp shut and I go into a sneezing fit.  God forbid the dog get any saliva on me, or I break out in a rash.

I've tried allergy shots before and am on a daily antihistamine, but this doesn't seem to help.  Do you girls have any other tips for cleaning the house and/or figuring out logistics of all of us living in the same home?  

I'm already planning on having our bedroom/bathroom area designated as a "pet-free" zone.  We bought a vaccuum cleaner with a HEPA filter and I plan on washing the walls and floors with a mild soap weekly.  The dog also gets a bath at the groomer's once a week.  

I guess I'm just worried that I'll have to retreat to the bedroom 24/7 because I can't be near the dog.  FI's mom lives 5 minutes away and has offered to adopt the dog because she already keeps him 3 days/week anyhow.  But if my health can stand it I'd like for my FI to have the dog at the home we'll share.

Tips?  I'm really interested in hearing ideas from others who are allergic to animals themselves.  If you've never truly experienced severe allergies it can be easy to assume that someone should just be able to "put up" with them.

Thanks in advance

elizabeth121985

Also, I'd like to add that I know that hardwood floors would be ideal, but we can't afford to either strip our entire house right now or move

sarahlm619

I don't have any tips -- however my FI is allergic to cats -- and I have one...it doesn't sound like his is as severe as yours.  It use to bother his eyes -- but we've lived together for almost 3 years now and it very rarely bothers him now.  I know this doesn't help much -- but maybe there's hope that the allergies will calm down?

Note -- I don't have allergies -- so I can't make an arugment that that is normal -- but wanted to pass it along.  Also -- during allergy season when the outdoor allergies that bother him get bad -- the cat doesn't help...but it's not the main trigger any longer!

[Deleted User]

I would try everything you can! I don't know about your FI but our dog is everything to both of us, and we would never give him up. Is the dog long haired? What kind of food does it eat? Did you know you were allergic before you moved in? 

NOLAbridealmost

I don't have any tips other than what you're already doing....except maybe the dog should be the one restricted to one room--not you.

whitsy

I have nothing to offer other than I know how you feel I am the same way with a lot of dogs, labs in particular. Shane is desperate for a Husky, but wants to keep it inside, which would be as miserable for me as it is for you.

elizabeth121985

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_living-fis-dog-im-severely-allergic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9ac17ec1-a605-49db-b6b4-36fc297f0b72Post:0860fdb8-b20e-452d-a970-542509b8c768">Re: Living with FI's dog that I'm severely allergic to</a>:
[QUOTE]I would try everything you can! I don't know about your FI but our dog is everything to both of us, and we would never give him up. Is the dog long haired? What kind of food does it eat? Did you know you were allergic before you moved in? 
Posted by halie520[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>He's an english bulldog.  They have really short hair but it sheds like there's no tomorrow.  We've already changed his diet based on the vet's recommendations due to my allergies.  Honestly, I can't tell any difference but at least we tried that.</div><div>
</div><div>And because he's a bulldog he slobbers everywhere (i.e. more allergens).</div><div>
</div><div>The dog doesn't mean a lot to me, but it does mean a lot to my FI.  He absolutely LOVES that dog so I'm willing to do anything I can to try and live with him.</div><div>
</div><div>And yes, I knew I was allergic.  He bought the dog right when we started dating.

</div>

J&K10910

A good air filter in the main living area will help pull allergens out of the air.  High quality foods can help reduce shedding and dry skin, meaning less hair and skin floating around. 

elizabeth121985

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_living-fis-dog-im-severely-allergic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9ac17ec1-a605-49db-b6b4-36fc297f0b72Post:1b8fb254-ca5d-445a-88fa-8f39c66c4a63">Re: Living with FI's dog that I'm severely allergic to</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't have any tips other than what you're already doing....except maybe the dog should be the one restricted to one room--not you.
Posted by NOLAbridealmost[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I've thought about this, but our house has an open floor plan and unless we gated everything off we couldn't restrict him to anything other than an extra bedroom in the back of the house :(

</div>

J&K10910

What kind of food are you feeding now?  Have you considered raw feeding?

elizabeth121985

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_living-fis-dog-im-severely-allergic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9ac17ec1-a605-49db-b6b4-36fc297f0b72Post:dbd2e3fb-0c2d-43ad-931c-d06906a83513">Re: Living with FI's dog that I'm severely allergic to</a>:
[QUOTE]What kind of food are you feeding now?  Have you considered raw feeding?
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

<div>We tried :)  Literally we've tried everything.  We tried several different types of food and even tried cooking stuff ourselves and raw food.</div><div>
</div><div>I've been to two different vets to discuss this specific issue, but they don't have any other new ideas other than a diet that uses the highest quality ingredients.</div>

sarahlm619

have you talked to YOUR doctor about what you can do?  Another friend of mine "eats clean" -- meaning no pre-packaged, only organic, etc etc -- and SWEARS that her allergies have 100% turned around...not saying that's your solution...but another option

elizabeth121985

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_living-fis-dog-im-severely-allergic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9ac17ec1-a605-49db-b6b4-36fc297f0b72Post:659aaa63-8ff0-40d3-8831-6145058ba67a">Re: Living with FI's dog that I'm severely allergic to</a>:
[QUOTE]A good air filter in the main living area will help pull allergens out of the air.  High quality foods can help reduce shedding and dry skin, meaning less hair and skin floating around. 
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

<div>We have a big air filter that sits in the living room.  It does some good, but I'm just so allergic that if both me and the dog are in there I start having symptoms.</div>

elizabeth121985

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_living-fis-dog-im-severely-allergic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9ac17ec1-a605-49db-b6b4-36fc297f0b72Post:a2cb2c45-168d-41df-971d-58dbec9c7fd7">Re: Living with FI's dog that I'm severely allergic to</a>:
[QUOTE]have you talked to YOUR doctor about what you can do?  Another friend of mine "eats clean" -- meaning no pre-packaged, only organic, etc etc -- and SWEARS that her allergies have 100% turned around...not saying that's your solution...but another option
Posted by sarahlm619[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I actually began eating only organic and cut out meat and dairy in an attempt to get in shape for the wedding.  It helped my weight (yay!), but not my allergies.  I guess I could go back to her though and speak specifically about my allergies.</div><div>
</div><div>Thanks for the idea :)

</div>

J&K10910

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_living-fis-dog-im-severely-allergic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9ac17ec1-a605-49db-b6b4-36fc297f0b72Post:46be14ff-ee8c-4f7f-93a5-156136bed2ac">Re: Living with FI's dog that I'm severely allergic to</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Living with FI's dog that I'm severely allergic to : We have a big air filter that sits in the living room.  It does some good, but I'm just so allergic that if both me and the dog are in there I start having symptoms.
Posted by elizabeth121985[/QUOTE]

If you're that allergic, I think you're SOL.  If I were your FI, I'd have my mom take the dog simply for your comfort and health. 

Nickivegan

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_living-fis-dog-im-severely-allergic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9ac17ec1-a605-49db-b6b4-36fc297f0b72Post:46be14ff-ee8c-4f7f-93a5-156136bed2ac">Re: Living with FI's dog that I'm severely allergic to</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Living with FI's dog that I'm severely allergic to : We have a big air filter that sits in the living room.  It does some good, but I'm just so allergic that if both me and the dog are in there I start having symptoms.
Posted by elizabeth121985[/QUOTE]


You may need more than one air filter. we have two in our small apt as each only can handle about 200 sq feet each. One in the living room, one in the bedroom.

What raw diet do you feed your dogs? My mom feeds her dogs raw turkey necks That she gets from a Local butcher. It's gross but they love them and it keeps their coats gorgeous.

elizabeth121985

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_living-fis-dog-im-severely-allergic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9ac17ec1-a605-49db-b6b4-36fc297f0b72Post:07a5b3ac-9082-4ce3-8838-18b0907b9295">Re: Living with FI's dog that I'm severely allergic to</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Living with FI's dog that I'm severely allergic to : If you're that allergic, I think you're SOL.  If I were your FI, I'd have my mom take the dog simply for your comfort and health. 
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>That's what I'm afraid of.  But I want to think of that as the absolute last option.  He considers that dog family and I'm not one to think of pets as disposable.  </div><div>
</div><div>At least if she took him my FI would still get to see the dog all the time.</div><div>
</div><div>

</div>

J&K10910

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_living-fis-dog-im-severely-allergic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9ac17ec1-a605-49db-b6b4-36fc297f0b72Post:2b3ef4fc-5050-4300-b7d2-277639d333e2">Re: Living with FI's dog that I'm severely allergic to</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Living with FI's dog that I'm severely allergic to : That's what I'm afraid of.  But I want to think of that as the absolute last option.  He considers that dog family <strong>and I'm not one to think of pets as disposable</strong>.   At least if she took him my FI would still get to see the dog all the time.
Posted by elizabeth121985[/QUOTE]

Well...neither am I.  But when it comes down to it, no matter how big a part of the family, people are greater than pets.  And I like my cat more than most people.  It's not like he's taking it to a shelter, he's giving it to his mom and can see it all the time.

I mean, by all means, exhaust your options, talk to your doctor.  I would be doing all those things.  But you sound pretty damn allergic.

Snippylynn

Having the dog get bathed once a week is one thing, but they need to be sure that they are using the right stuff.  That they are using stuff that inhibits allergens for one, and secondly, that they aren't actually drying out the dog's skin and making him produce MORE dander-- a very real possibility.

You can also try the sprays or wipes that have stuff to help with the dander.

http://www.amazon.com/Allersearch-ADS-Allergy-Spray/dp/B000RWFFHY/ref=sr_1_fkmr1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1326057621&sr=8-1-fkmr1

http://www.amazon.com/Simple-Solution-Allergy-Relief-8-Count/dp/B0002APQ34/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&qid=1326057724&sr=8-8

Meg1036

I'm similarly allergic to cats.  I guess I'm heartless, but if I were in this situation, I would be sending the dog down the street.  I'm all for treating animals well and I understand that pets are family members, but when it comes down to it, your comfort in your own home is really, really important.  And personally, I know I would never actually be comfortable in a home with a cat.  Your FMIL's house is a really good option; your FI could still see the dog, and the dog would be well-cared for.

Just my (probalby heartless) 2 cents.

lauralaur

This is coming from someone who has a dog that I love very much...

I would give the dog to your FMIL. Are you really going to wash the walls weekly? And the weekly bathing, expensive diet, etc. all sounds very costly and time-consuming. If the dog is with your FMIL, he's in a good home and you can breathe. It's not ideal for your fi, but he could still walk the dog, etc. Maybe have one last conversation with your doctor, but if nothing works then nothing works. My highly allergic and asthmatic father learned to live with a cat but only after two asthma attacks and a regimen of something like four inhalers three times a day.

nhahn2206

I think Snippy makes a good point about the dog's weekly bathing. Dogs are not meant to be bathed that often. It's bad for their skin and really dries it out. I would actually probably cut back on the bathing and have your FI wipe him down with cleansing wipes in between baths. Also, make sure when he does get washed that they're using conditioner on him.

Honestly, this sounds like a lot of work for you on a fairly regular basis. I love my two dogs with all my heart and can't imagine giving them up for anything, but I'm also not allergic to them. It sounds like you can barely live in your own house. I would probably ask FI to try keeping the dog with his mom for a month or so to see how it works out for him. Maybe he'll be able to see the dog often enough that it would be a workable solution for both of you.

KatePlusNate04

I'm a huge dog lover and animal lover in general. I get that they're family members too. We have a dog that I treat like a baby. But if I was that allergic or if H was that allergic, I'd be sending him to a trusted place, like with your FMIL. You should be able to breathe and live comfortably in your home without being restricted to two rooms. Plus it sounds very time-consuming and expensive to do what you're doing, and you're STILL allergic. If nothing is working, I think the only option is to have the dog live with FMIL, so your FI can still see him when he wants but you are happy in your house.

emarston1

Another thing you could try is to have your air ducts cleaned.  A lot of pet hair and allergens are in the ducts and it just recycles into the air.  It's actually really gross to see what all is sitting in the ducts if they haven't been properly cleaned in a long time.

RaptorSLH

My FI is badly allergic to his mother's dog and cat.  He has a small air purifier that clips to the collar of his shirts.  It helps somewhat.

I grew up with pets, and I understand completely that they become part of the family.  But the health of a human HAS to come before the pet.  It MUST.  If the dog lives five minutes away with your FMIL, he is still being taken care of by someone you know; he hasn't been abandoned, or discarded.  Your FI can still see him often - daily, if he wants and FMIL is willing.  The dog doesn't even have to get used to a new home.

Some people can live with pets, if their allergies are mild.  You are to be commended for trying.  But please don't put your health in jeopardy for a pet.

Simply Fated

My cat allergies are so bad that my asthma acts up like crazy. It's not safe for me to even be in the same house as one, let alone in the same room, as I discovered today. I love cats and it makes my heart break that I can never have one. I would talk to your doctor or an allergist and see if you have definitely exhausted every possibility. good luck!!

nra2183

My husband is allergic to cats and my former roommate is allergic to cats and dogs.  In order to keep my cat, I tried a bunch of different things, including buying a hypoallergenic shampoo.  It's called Allersearch and I bought it online.  It works for cats and dogs and you just bathe the animal once a month using the shampoo.  It really helped for both my roommate and my husband. 

My old roommate is really bad with the allergies (rashes, non-stop sneezing, watery eyes) and this worked really well.  Once the end of the month came though we always knew because her allergies would flair up, but she had little to know problems the rest of the time.

tenofcups4me

I can't imagine keeping the dog in the house with the allergies you're describing. I have two cats and love them like crazy -- but if DH couldn't live with them, they would have to go. Especially since there's a safe place the dog can go to where your DH can see and visit the dog as much as he wants. It's time for that dog to go.

harpsdesire

You should consider the fact that living in a constant state of allergic stress and floods of histamines can depress your immune system, lead to chronic problems and even cause you to develop NEW allergies...

If this was a matter of live with the dog or send it to the shelter that's one thing, but I think letting it live with your MIL just a little ways away, safe, loved and where you can still visit would be more logical than spending all your time miserably sick.

Bonzo2011

I've lived my whole life with cats, even though I'm apparently allergic (discovered during allergy testing). The reason I say "apparently" is because I am so deathly allergic to grass that I never noticed the cats having any effect! And I've been on Flonase and Claritin since elementary school, and they keep all of my allergies in check most of the year. I only really have problems when I walk past people mowing their lawn, or some other major trigger. I vaccuum everything, including couches, at least once a week. In college, I had my cat, and one roommate's boyfriend was allergic to cats. We vaccuumed twice a week, and kept the cat out of her room, and he was fine. OP, I would talk to your doctor and see if there are any other solutions. Maybe a different medication, it can take a while to find the right one. After talking to the doctor and cleaning air ducts etc as PP have said, if you still can't breath in your own home, it's time to consider moving the dog to FMIL. At least you have a last ditch solution whe the dog remains a part of the family. It's wonderful that she is willing to take the dog for you.

kmmssg

I grew up with dogs but always had horrible seasonal hay fever.  Over the last 25 years my seasonal hay fever has practically subsided but I am badly alleric to dogs.  Asthma attack allergic.

Kudos to you for trying so hard, but living in that atmosphere is going to stress your body and immune system as pp mentioned.  Those are long term issues that you have a responsibility to avoid.  You have to keep your personal health in mind.  I'm willing to bet that any good hearted woman who had to wash walls every week, and go through CDC decontamination procedures on a weekly basis just to live in her own home would not end up happy in her marriage.

I really hope your FI isn't expecting you to tolerate the dander and live like this.  He really needs to be stepping up to the plate here and taking mom up on her offer.