Help! What do you think...?

HouseSpouse

I wasn't sure the best place to ask this question, but this seemed like as good a place as any.

My husband recently received an invitation to one of his old school buddy's weddings. He hasn't seen him in a few years and I have never met this friend of his. It's a safe bet that he somehow missed that we got married. So, not surprisingly, the invitaion is only addressed to my husband and doesn't list a Plus 1. My husband reacted like it's no big deal and sent the RSVP with both of our names. I guess I'm just looking for opinions so I don't feel like I'm crashing their wedding. I know my husband wouldn't go without me and I doubt they would want him to... thoughts?

funandfreckles

I think your H was rude for RSVPing for more people than were invited. He should have phoned, and if you weren't invited and they purposely left you out, then he should have declined.

monkeysip

Yup.... long before I knew anything about wedding etiquette, I made this mistake too.  I subbed my fiance (long term boyfriend at the time) on my cousin's wedding invitation since my mother couldn't make it. 

It was wrong... but what's done is done.  If I were your husband, I'd give them a call. 

courtski2004

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-what-do-you-think?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9ba6ed43-82d3-4ca9-9ef7-8b6fc59a5194Post:72e266b9-bad0-43e4-872a-909485641df7">Re: Help! What do you think...?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would have called as well, but what's done is done.  If the couple doesn't have room or feels like you're "crashing" they should do what we advise brides on here to do all the time and call to explain that the invite was just for your H.  <strong>If it makes you feel better, he can give it a week, then call to make sure they got the RSVP and double check that it's okay for you to come too.
</strong>Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

This is exactly what I would suggest.

itzMS

I feel like something is missing in this story...

How did this buddy get your address? I'm assuming he would've had to at least text/email/facebook your DH to ask for your mailing address. I know guys don't chit chat a lot, but it didn't even cross your husband's mind to maybe introduce you to this friend when he (presumably) asked for your address a few weeks back?


Anyways, DH should actually talk to his "friend" and tell him he has a wife...

heroeswearbrown

FI should definitely double check. But it is possible that his friend just had no clue about how to address invitations. We got an invite to a wedding that FI is a groomsman in. The couple both know me, have met me, know that FI and I are engaged, but only addressed the invite to him and his family. FI checked with his buddy and his friend made a remark along the lines of "Seriously? You have to ask? Of course she's invited!" So it is possible that some people just have literally no clue. Made me extra dilligent in terms of making sure I addressed everything correctly because my heart sank when he got the invite and my name was mentioned nowhere on it. She only addressed the outer envelopes and didn't address the inner envelopes at all. Turns out another groomsman got left off of the invite that went to his house so yeah. Some people just have no clue. I'd check just to be sure though.

HouseSpouse

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-what-do-you-think?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9ba6ed43-82d3-4ca9-9ef7-8b6fc59a5194Post:ba5d78ac-1254-465b-b1dd-41b8c69b39ca">Re: Help! What do you think...?</a>:
[QUOTE]I feel like something is missing in this story... How did this buddy get your address? I'm assuming he would've had to at least text/email/facebook your DH to ask for your mailing address. I know guys don't chit chat a lot, but it didn't even cross your husband's mind to maybe introduce you to this friend when he (presumably) asked for your address a few weeks back? Anyways, DH should actually talk to his "friend" and tell him he has a wife...
Posted by itzMS[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Oh, he sent the invitation to my husband's parents. Which was the address he used back in college. :)

</div>

harper0813

This is an easy etiquette mistake to make - quick solution is for your hubby to just give your friend a call (the sooner, the better!) to check if he might have room to bring you along, and you guys had some miscommunucation and sent the RSVP without discussing it first. Your friend's wife may be having a heart attack worrying that she'll have to call you guys and ask about the extra guest. If his friend can only accomodate your husband, it's of course up to you guys to decide if your husband will attend solo.