Wedding Etiquette Forum
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invite the boss?? AH help!

I know people ask this often. But I’m reposting just because I figure each person’s “invite” the coworker situation is unique. I used to work in a larger company- and would easily figure out who to invite and who to not invite.Now, I moved into a 4 person company (including myself) and things are sticky. The two girls I work with and I are friendly, because we have the office to ourselves 60% of the time. My boss travels all the time. She is also the company owner, signs my paychecks etc.The two other” employees” and myself are close- so I would invite them, we hang out outside of work, they’ve both been to my home for a cookout etc. But if I invite them, isn’t it awk I don’t invite my boss? We are friendly and cordial, but she is very much a “work is work, and home is home” type of person. At the same time, shes the company owner—and pays my check…We do ask how each is doing, and I know about her children, and have met them and shes met my fiancé. She’s invited me to an event at her house- because she is the board member of a special interest group I’m involved in. To top it off, she’s a multi millionaire. No, I don’t mean millionaireish… Her husband is the heir to one of the largest companies in the world (think Barbie’s competitor)….She owns the business as a “hobby” and the last wedding she went to was for one of the Firestone sons. I almost feel uncomfortable for her to come to my humble wedding. It’s a stretch for me, and I know for a fact!! that what I am spending on my wedding, is what she just spent on her 16 yr old son’s bday present. I feel so stupid to have her there, and I know she won’t WANT to be there. I’m  hoping shell have some society event at the time… but then if she doesn’t come, its even more awk. Is she going to give me a gift?? I just feel like the day when my two coworkers mention they are attending in front of my boss will be awk. Like I’m being disrespectful.
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Re: invite the boss?? AH help!

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    Since it's a group of four and you're inviting your two coworkers, I'd invite the boss as well. She can always decline.
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    I think you should invite her.  She seems like the type of boss that probably won't come anyway.  It sounds like the reason you do not want to invite her is that you are worried she will judge you.  Just remember that if she does decide to come, it's because she wants to see you get married, not one of the Firestone children, so don't be all embarrassed about your wedding. 

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    I would *definitely* invite her.  Your company is very small and she's your boss.  Do it out of courtesy.  She'll come if she wants and is able to and if not, at least she will appreciate the invite. 
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    Yep, I'd invite her.

    Also, I wouldn't worry about your wedding being "humble". Every wedding is different. Just because someone else wasted a vast amount of money on every detail of their wedding doesn't mean that yours will be somehow lesser. Your wedding has YOUR touches. That's what makes it special!
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    Why would her not coming be awkward?  I think most people decline their employees' wedding invitations.  That said, if you think it would be awkward for her to be there, then don't invite her.  Tell the other two girls not to talk about the wedding at work.
    Married 10/2/10
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    no not her not coming. that she doesnt come and then has to what present me a gift at the office? Its so uncomfortable!!
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    I doubt she would present you with a gift at the office.  Most people send gifts to the couple's home if they don't bring them to the wedding.
    Married 10/2/10
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    dludu1dludu1 member
    First Comment
    I would invite her too.
    It seems like a close working community, even if she's not around. She's invited you to a dinner party before, therefore does hold you important to her social life at some degree. I bet she would be happy if you invite her. Sometimes, a more humble wedding can mean more than a fancy, over the top, lets show off wedding and I can see someone as influencing as her to find you wedding truly inspiring and romantic.
    Don't be afraid to invite her! The worst that can happen is she says no, because...
    No one will ever judge you for wanting to enter a beautiful union in your life especially because money shouldn't reflect that connection.

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    I work for a large company myself and there are definitely 2 people (plus guests)I would like to invite but then I have 2 supervisors and then the man at the top who I work with regularly as wekk. Thats potentially 10 more people on my guest list. When is it safe to stop climbing the ladder for invites?
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    are your supervisors married?Maybe invtie them sans date
    or hope if you invite 10 only 6 show.
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    I would invite her and let her decide if you wants to come or not!
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    I would invite her, your office is small so if you don't she will feel left out. Don't worry about the amount your spending and what she'll think about it, she signs your paycheck so she knows how much you make and probably what is not beyond your means. Chances are she will be flattered that you invited her.
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    I would invite her since it is such a small office.  If you're worried that she won't want to be there, let her make the choice.
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    I think you should due to your situation.  Besides, what's two more people?  I'm inviting everyone in my office, but I work with my FMIL and since we talk wedding all the time (and so does everyone else) it would be pretty impossible to not invite everyone.  However, we can obviously tell those who will come and those who won't.  So if you think your boss won't come, you're probably right.  You should still invite her out of courtesy, though!
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    Just because your boss is incredibly wealthy doesnt mean she is going to judge you. Considering she is your boss you do not want any hard feelings if you dont invite her. Suck it up and send the invitation!

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    kparrekparre member
    First Comment
    I would invite your boss due to it being not many people you work with.  I know you are worried about feeling awkard if she would come because she is very wealthy.  but personally I would feel more awkard if I didn't send an invite.  Also when you get married you won't be concern about your boss.  You'll be in the moment, having an awesome time with your husband.  That's what people remember....
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    I am inviting my boss...he already gave me my gift of Invisalign Braces (AMAZING!) he's a dentist. 
    But I say definetly invite her. If she doesnt want to attend, she wont, and you will probably get a nice gift out of it!
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