Wedding Etiquette Forum

Guest List Drama - PLEASE HELP!!

Please weigh in!
I sent a STD to a friend & his fiancee to my wedding, which is in June.  He has recently started a new career as a wedding photog.  We aren't super close (in fact, I've never met her), but they were very close to my BM, Annie, & I decided that I wanted them there.

Well, Annie got married in Dec in Baltimore; I was looking forward to seeing my friend & meeting his fiancee.  Turns out that he called Annie the day before the wedding to tell her that, due to snowstorms in OK (where they were), they couldn't get a flight out in time.  She checked the weather report...guess what?  There was no storm.  They decided to back out b/c he was 'so offended that he hadn't been asked to photograph the wedding' (this was the first she'd heard of it).  Annie had a HUGE wedding, & wanted a photog who had experience with large crowds (he does not).  So, her parents ended up paying for two extra dinners.

Now I have no desire to invite these two to my wedding.  I have no idea if he'd pull something like that twice, but I still think they're awful.  Needless to say, my BM has no wish to see them, either.  BUT, I've already sent out my STD's, & he's recieved his. 
SO...do you think it's too late to back out of inviting them???

Re: Guest List Drama - PLEASE HELP!!

  • You don't want to invite him because he backed out on your friend?

    While that was classless, I would assume that he was still your friend, no?

    If he got an STD, I would still send an invite. Did you ever TALK to him about this? Or did your friend?
    image
    Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.

    The Margarita Evolution
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-list-drama-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9bbf88af-a6bf-4489-813f-eba14abff2afPost:77ed7448-9b0f-45ce-9b90-96db094f32ac">Guest List Drama - PLEASE HELP!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Please weigh in! I sent a STD to a friend & his fiancee to my wedding, which is in June.  He has recently started a new career as a wedding photog.  We aren't super close (in fact, I've never met her), but they were very close to my BM, Annie, & I decided that I wanted them there. Well, Annie got married in Dec in Baltimore; I was looking forward to seeing my friend & meeting his fiancee.  Turns out that he called Annie the day before the wedding to tell her that, due to snowstorms in OK (where they were), they couldn't get a flight out in time.  She checked the weather report...guess what?  There was no storm.  They decided to back out b/c he was 'so offended that he hadn't been asked to photograph the wedding' (this was the first she'd heard of it).  Annie had a HUGE wedding, & wanted a photog who had experience with large crowds (he does not).  So, her parents ended up paying for two extra dinners. Now I have no desire to invite these two to my wedding.  I have no idea if he'd pull something like that twice, but I still think they're awful.  Needless to say, my BM has no wish to see them, either.  BUT, I've already sent out my STD's, & he's recieved his.  SO...do you think it's too late to back out of inviting them???
    Posted by kee80[/QUOTE]

    Yes, it's too late to back out of inviting them.  But it sounds like as long as you don't hire them to photograph, they won't come anyway <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />   So send the invite and figure they're not coming, even if they say they are.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • This is why you must be careful about STDs.

    You sent one, so you should invited them. Uninviting them is as rude as you can get.

    Planning Bio
    Married 9/15/11

    image
    *This is Not Legal Advice*
  • I think he was accepting thinking he'd get to be the photographer.  And when he wasn't he backed out. I bet he backs out again.
  • while its kinda rude, if you dont hang out with him or see him (dont know where you live in relation to him) it doesnt sound like you have any relationship with him it doesnt sound like the end of the world, I'm sure that etiquette would steer you differently but from your post it doesnt seem like you have anything like a relationship really to lose.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    156image 108image 48image RSVP Due 5/18
    New Bio
  • If you don't like them and don't care about being their friend, like you seem like you don't then don't send the invite.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards