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Stepdad paying for wedding

rojewsk1rojewsk1 member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum

I'm getting married this Summer and my mom and Stepdad are paying for most of the wedding.  I do, however, want to honor my real dad (he's a part of my life but is not able financially to contribute much), so he will be walking me down the aisle and doing a daddy/daughter dance with me.  I don't feel comfortable having a dance with my stepdad too, since we are not that close, but I want to honor him in some way for paying for much of the wedding.  Any suggestions on some special "duty" or something I could give him or use to show my appreciation and make him feel important?

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Re: Stepdad paying for wedding

  • TheSaltyPeanutTheSaltyPeanut member
    1000 Comments

    Is your step dad and mom's name going on the invitation as hosts?

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  • rojewsk1rojewsk1 member
    First Comment
    No- since we are paying for some and so is my fiance's mom, we're just going to write "together with their families"
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  • SwedishChick2011SwedishChick2011
    2500 Comments
    I don't think you have to give him any "duties" or make a big deal of anything at the wedding.  I think if you personally thank your mom and stepdad, and also give them a nice thank you note and gift, that will be enough.  If you're having a rehearsal dinner, that would be a great time to recognize them.
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  • ohwhynotohwhynot member
    2500 Comments
    You (or your husband) can make a toast at the reception thanking all of your parents for being there, raising you right, etc., and then also thank mom and stepdad for their generosity toward the wedding celebration. 
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  • Night_SpriteNight_Sprite
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    I would suck it up and dance with your stepdad.
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  • betrothed123betrothed123
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    There really aren't many jobs that convey honor at a wedding.  I agree with OhWhyNot.  A nice toast to them would be good.
    kd.joseph's wish is my command
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    Just call me "Brothel"
    And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
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  • rojewsk1rojewsk1 member
    First Comment
    To put it delicately, he has an "interesting" personality and feels the need to be recognized for things that he does for people.  I will not be dancing with him...we have a complicated relationship that is hard to explain.  I will do a toast, I'm just looking for ideas for something else I can do in addition.
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  • danieliza1127danieliza1127 member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Typically you would get your mom and step-dad a gift and give that to them as a thank you for helping to pay for the wedding.  You don't have to do anything AT the actual wedding.  Your guests don't need to know who paid for what.
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  • betrothed123betrothed123
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    As usual, I agree with Dani.  I don't think there is anything you can do in addition to the toast at the actual wedding.
    kd.joseph's wish is my command
    image
    Just call me "Brothel"
    And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
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    Betrothed 123's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
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  • Pirata13Pirata13
    2500 Comments
    The only other thing you may be able to do in addition to the toast is to put a special thanks to them in the program if you are making one. You'd basically be repeating that in the toast, but if you think the program mention will make his day, do it up!
    Crosswalk
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  • pumpkinpumpkinpumpkinpumpkin
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    I agree with dani as well, but I also think Sprite's comment about sucking it up and dancing with your step-dad wasn't really needed. Have the father-daughter dance with your biological father, and later in the night, it would be nice if you'd dance with your step-dad. But no one wants to sit through 2 father-daughter dances Sprite, really.
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