Wedding Etiquette Forum
Options

Help!! future brother -in-law

My Fiance's brother is so crazy! My fiance and him do not get along at all. Their arguements can escalate to getting physical. just this past weekend his brother (we will call him "S" for short) decided that our marriage won't ever last (we have already been together 6 happy years) and that my fiance's oldest brother is the "smart one" ( for the wife he choose). He tried getting physical with my fiance this same weekend Is it completely wrong not to invite his brother? I try to stay out of the family drama but it is just unacceptable

Re: Help!! future brother -in-law

  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-future-brother-in-law?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9c77f84e-5cc1-4ce7-a826-da43c6790977Post:d23ec925-ae20-4263-bb6f-50993f0ce046">Help!! future brother -in-law</a>:
    [QUOTE]My Fiance's brother is so crazy! My fiance and him do not get along at all. Their arguements can escalate to getting physical. just this past weekend his brother (we will call him "S" for short) decided that our marriage won't ever last (we have already been together 6 happy years) and that my fiance's oldest brother is the "smart one" ( for the wife he choose). He tried getting physical with my fiance this same weekend Is it completely wrong not to invite his brother? I try to stay out of the family drama but it is just unacceptable
    Posted by fishtownqt[/QUOTE]
    It's up to your fiance whether or not he wants his brother there. It's not wrong, but there could be regrets down the road, but it totally depends on them.
    image
  • Options
    What she said ^

    image

    June 1, 2013 - finally making it official!

  • Options
    BMoreBride6BMoreBride6 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited February 2013
    Is it wrong?  Not really; however, this could cause irreparable damage in FI's family.  This could very well sever any potential relationship between the brothers as well as potentially affect FI's relationship with the rest of his family.  I suggest having FI talk to his parents and possibly his other brother if appropriate, about the situation.  FBIL does not have the right to disrespect you or FI at all and you are right to be concerned, but this is a decision that will have a lasting impact so look into every possible scenario and outcome before making any decisions.  

    ETA: I just noticed your wedding date is more than a year and a half away...you have time to really work on this/think on this. 
  • Options
    This has to be your FI's decision, not yours.  Since you are still so far out from  your wedding, don't worry about this right now.  In the meantime, maybe FI can talk to his brother and see if there is a relationship to be saved or if he needs to set firm boundaries and limit his interactions with his brother.
  • Options
    I wouldn't not invite him to the wedding (agree with PP that it is his decision, not yours).  But why do you guys even spend time with him?  If you weren't around each other, this wouldn't happen. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    Let me rephrase this for you:  My finance is completely crazy!  He allows his fights with his brother to get physical.  He keeps hanging around this guy even though he's always a jerk who now says our marriage won't last.  I hate all this drama and don't want it at my wedding.  Am I crazy for marrying a man who won't back away from the drama?

    There are 2 people involved with this situation.  You're not going to resolve it as long as all the blame is on crazy brother-in-law.  
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-future-brother-in-law?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9c77f84e-5cc1-4ce7-a826-da43c6790977Post:c9de56f0-ad1a-46fa-85be-a4249bf8acc7">Re: Help!! future brother -in-law</a>:
    [QUOTE]Let me rephrase this for you:  My finance is completely crazy!  He allows his fights with his brother to get physical.  He keeps hanging around this guy even though he's always a jerk who now says our marriage won't last.  I hate all this drama and don't want it at my wedding.  Am I crazy for marrying a man who won't back away from the drama? There are 2 people involved with this situation.  You're not going to resolve it as long as all the blame is on crazy brother-in-law.  
    Posted by STARMOON44[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>I agree with this.  I'm shocked by the number of people who take a situation that involves two people and place the blame solely on one.  Even in my own situations that haven't gone how I wanted, I have to accept some responsibility becuase I'm the other person.  </div><div>
    </div><div>I would have a serious talk with FI about his role in this relationship and how he can change in order for the situation to be different.  Not inviting your FBIL is not going to make the situation any better...In fact it will most likely make the whole thing worse, and I imagine you'll be blamed as the person who initiated this.  </div>
    Wedding Countdown Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-future-brother-in-law?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9c77f84e-5cc1-4ce7-a826-da43c6790977Post:60fd6af1-57e3-42de-9110-ad26faa98cb9">Re: Help!! future brother -in-law</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Help!! future brother -in-law : It's up to your fiance whether or not he wants his brother there. It's not wrong, but there could be regrets down the road, but it totally depends on them.
    Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]



    This.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards