Question: Guest Favors

mshunnic

Is it appropriate to do a donation to a personally important foundation in memory of someone close to the couple in lieu of guest favors?

danieliza1127

It depends on who you ask.  Some people do it and think it's great.  Others say it's not really a favor, which is meant to be a gift to your guests.  If you want to donate to a charity, go for it!  Do it regularly.  It doesn't have to be just because you're getting married and it doesn't have to be showed off to your guests.

Basically the favor is a little token of thanks to your guests.  If you would rather spend that money on a donation to the charity, then just skip favors and do the donation instead.  In my opinion though, the donation is not a favor to your guests.

Fred13

I've actually seen that done quite a bit. Typically, people make out a little note or card placed at each dinner setting that says something along the lines of, "we have made a donation in your honor to [insert charity organization here]"

LesPaul

Not really.  It is often viewed as AWish.  If you want to donate the money you would have spent on favors, then do so privately.  As a guest, I would rather that you didn't force your organization on me and make it seem like a grand gesture on my behalf.

pooh8402

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-guest-favors?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9dc4d99f-a7ec-4fe1-b0c6-2ab5f0acc556Post:e692d4f2-9dc5-48c2-b3d6-b3dc8e4d1b15">Re: Question: Guest Favors</a>:
[QUOTE]Not really.  It is often viewed as AWish.  If you want to donate the money you would have spent on favors, then do so privately.  As a guest, I would rather that you didn't force your organization on me and make it seem like a grand gesture on my behalf.
Posted by LesPaul[/QUOTE]

this. donations are not favors.

Lisa8888

Donations are not guest favors.

stephdonjon

I've always thought it was a very nice gesture. I've never been offended that a couple didn't give me a box containing 10 m&m's in the wedding colors and instead made a contribution in a name to a charity.

Simultaneously though, I'm a firm believer that charity should never broadcasted. The donation cards for guests can still give that "Look what we did!" vibe. Like pps said, if you want to do this, just do it. Your guests won't be upset if they don't get favors; you don't need cards at their table to justify anything.

jnic0319

I definitely would not put "a donation was made in your honor" or "a donation was made in your name" because the guest may not like that charity.

I am in the minority on this though, as I am doing a donation, I will have 1 little frame near the table with the guestbook explaining our charity.

The reason we choose to do this is because they are not offensive in our circles, and because if a donation is not given fi's family is used to receiving big favors (eg. bottles of wine) we choose to put the money to better use than to give an expensive gift that only some people would like.  We don't want it to be AWish, but we want to make sure people don't think we just went cheap on the favors for the heck of it.
I tend to fear getting flamed when this comes up though.

mshunnic

Well i tend to agree. The donation would be in memory of my grandfather who recently passed from Parkinsons.  Most of the guest list is family and would understand the donation.  However, I do not want to offend those who may not be as aware of the significance.

callalilly323

I absolutely think it's appropriate. I think it's ridiculous to think a couple is "broadcasting" a donation if it's a personally important one (ie. breast cancer if someone in your family has had it). As a guest, I would be much happier to see that the couple donated money rather than give me a $2 gift.

I did a donation myself in honor of my grandmother who cannot be at the wedding (St. Jude's Children's Hospital). They are actually sending me lovely bookmarks that I can give to my guests as favors. I would much rather donate my money to a worthwhile cause (especially one that might allow another little girl grow up and get married) than on a wine stopper or jar of honey.