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katdel13

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freebread03

Every bride gets one day--you're very considerate to be concerned about your family, your cousin and her family and their schedules, but she gets her day and you get yours.  Also, "summer" isn't much different than "September" (in fact, doesn't summer end sometime in September?)  A nice thing to do would be to call your cousin and tell her yourself the date you chose, and just let her know that in no way do you want to inconvenience her or her family, but it's the date that worked for you.  She shouldn't have an issue with it, and by hearing it straight from you, she shouldn't feel like you're doing anything that would deliberately upstage her.

Pookieson

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cousins-wedding-4-weeks-apart-from-mine?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9efb13b8-5c80-44cd-a7b6-bd5595837ce1Post:56856206-adba-47e1-ba7e-1cf96bf31be3">Re: Cousin's wedding 4 weeks apart from mine</a>:
[QUOTE]Every bride gets one day--you're very considerate to be concerned about your family, your cousin and her family and their schedules, but she gets her day and you get yours.  Also, "summer" isn't much different than "September" (in fact, doesn't summer end sometime in September?)  A nice thing to do would be to call your cousin and tell her yourself the date you chose, and just let her know that in no way do you want to inconvenience her or her family, but it's the date that worked for you.  She shouldn't have an issue with it, and by hearing it straight from you, she shouldn't feel like you're doing anything that would deliberately upstage her.
Posted by freebread03[/QUOTE]

I agree with this.  I've never understood the whole thing about brides getting mad about someone getting married close to their date.  Hopefully your cousin is understanding and not a bridezilla.

ThankfulSnail

I agree with all that's been said so far. Also, it's not 100% clear from your OP if the cousin's date is set in stone, or if she's just aiming for October. Things can come up and those things can change until the venue is booked; H and I had originally wanted September 15th, then September 29th, then due to the venue, ended up with October 6th.

If her date is set with a venue and everything, I agree that it would be best if the cousin heard from you directly and you called her to let her know. Be prepared that due to travel costs, some family members may unfortunately need to choose one wedding or the other, and just be as gracious as you can when faced with that.

courtski2004

My cousin (who lives in Vermont) set the date for his early August wedding not long after we announced the date for our mid-June Dallas wedding (a little less than 6 weeks apart). My family spreads from Maine to California, and everyone managed to plan ahead to attend both weddings since we announced our dates far enough ahead of time. If it is that important for your family to attend both weddings, they have nearly a year to plan. If not, they will choose between the two but thats just how things go. Out of 18 shared OOT guests, 16 attended both of our weddings. 

Summer2011Bride

She has her day, you have yours. How far will people have to travel for both? To me, a month apart is no big deal unless it was a destination wedding or a place I'd have to fly to. Even a few hours drive would be no big deal for me to make twice in the span of a month.

If it is too much of a hassle for them to go to both, they can always decide which to attend. That is on them.

Beads921

FI and I are getting married in July 2013. His cousin, who is recently engaged, is planning for August 2013. We had our date first, but it's not a big deal as far as I'm concerned. We get one day, they get one day - it's as simple as that.

ootmother2

Obviously you should put a contract out on her for attempted thunder stealing

s-aries8990

oot- haha

Its a month apart. If you send out STD's early enough, people will be able to plan accordingly.

cevans11

My brother is getting married two months after me. They got engaged before we did too. My FSIL is one of my BMs, and I'm one of hers. It's really been NBD. I'm doing a destination wedding, which makes it a little easier, because most relatives who are in the position of choosing one or the other just chose my bro's because it's cheaper/easier. Which is fine with me, I'll just see them at my bro's wedding. 

As a PP said, some people may have to choose between weddings, and you should be prepared for that, especially if they have to travel. However, no matter what date you pick, you're not going to be able to please everyone. There will be people who can't make it for various reasons no matter what. 

katdel13

Thanks so much ladies!!! I really appreciate all of your input -K