Wedding Etiquette Forum

Should i invite this person?

My grandfather really wants me to invite his brother and sister (plus their spouses, obviously). i am okay with inviting his brother, but i do not like his sister at all (also i have not seen her that often in my life). if we were having a 200 person wedding i think it would be appropriate to invite her, but we are trying to keep the wedding list to under 50 people. if i invite my grandfathers brtoher then i have to invite the sister as well, and then it snowballs into my FI mother wanting to invite her mothers sister and cousins, etc.

should i risk offending my grandfather and put my foot down or suck it up? and also, if i invite my grandfathers brother and sister do i have to say yes to all these distant relatives from the FI side?

Re: Should i invite this person?

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    Who is paying?
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    If your grandpa is paying, he gets some say on the guest list.  If he is not paying, than his request is a matter of family dynamics, not etiquette.  You are free to invite/not invite whomever you like with the exception of not splitting up social units (couples in serious relationships).  If you decide to invite your great aunt and uncle, you do not have to reciprocate with your FI's side of the family.  
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    edited February 2013
    In Response to <a href=" BoardsForum:9Discussion:9f4e914c-4cd2-4c9e-9ea0-e997c79aaa15Post:84b23482-0664-441d-8e6a-71d733953210">Re: Should i invite this person?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Who is paying?
    Posted by beachwed10[/QUOTE]

    My aunt and uncle are paying and the FI parents. not my grandparents
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    Unless grandpa is paying, you don't need to invite his siblings.  If you do decide to invite his brother, it doesn't mean that you're obligated to invite his sister (or any other extended relatives).  It would, however, be likely to hurt your great-aunt's feelings and possibly cause a rift if her brother is invited and she is not. 

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    Do your aunt & uncle want to invite these siblings?  I mean, is this their side of the family?  Otherwise, sorry gramps!
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    No, you definitely do not need to invite your great aunt, great uncle, and their spouses to a fifty person wedding!
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    Based on my own family dynamic I would invite them. My grandfather wanted his brother's widow and all of her children (who became my great uncle's step kids as adults) invited.  Despite the fact that all of his own children and grandchildren would be tere he felt that "he didn't have any family invited".  I had intended to invite my aunt, but not her children.  While I thought it was silly he's my grandfather and I love him and I wanted him to be happy on my wedding day; not thinking about the fact that most of his family has passed.

    But my family's not your family.  Regardless, inviting the brother doesn't mean to have to invite the sister and inviting both of them does NOT mean you have to invite all your FI's mom's cousins (or was it g-ma's cousins? I wasn't totally clear...).  I see FI's parents are paying; so if it becomes an issue the funding could be a problem.  But I personally don't see why you'd need to bring it up.  If you have space in the number you've alotted for your family it shouldn't matter who they are.  And while I could see inviting FI's g-ma's sister b/c it's equivalent the cousins have no place in it.
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