Didn't invite boss, bad move?

kroot87

I work in a very small office. I'm the only employee, so it's just me and my boss. I've been there about a year and a half, and it's been pretty bumpy. My boss isn't a bad guy, but there have been some pretty serious issues that have caused tension. Things are getting better at this point, but I still don't feel like we're particularly friendly with one another, and I'm not sure I plan to stay at this job much longer unless there are some drastic improvements. My parents are paying for the reception, so I tried to keep the guest list pretty small, and as such I didn't invite my boss.

He seems to have a genuine interest in the wedding, always asking me how planning is going. I never bring up the wedding to him because it just feels awkward, but I'll answer him when he asks about it and quickly change the subject. We're 3 weeks out, so I'm sure he knows at this point he wasn't invited. Should I mention to him we would have liked to invite him but unfortunately weren't able to, or should I just let it go?

Am I way overthinking this? When I originally decided not to invite him, I thought it was NBD.. but since, I've had a handful of people tell me they think it's strange to not invite one's boss, especially in a small business.

LizziebeeUT

I do think that was kind of a bad move. If its just the two of you, it wouldn't have been a big deal to add him and his plus 1 without bulking up your guest list. If you had coworkers than its more understandable.

But what's done is done. If you try to invite him now, it would just be very obvious and hurt his feelings. You are just going to have to live with your decision. Don't bring it up to him. If he asks you about, than you'll have to say something, but if you try to talk to him it will reflect really poorly on you. It will be really hard to explain it to him without looking like your grasping for an excuse.

[Deleted User]

I don't think its a big deal.  If you guys were friendly beyond professional civility, it would be one thing, but it doesn't sound like you are.  I definitely wouldn't bring it up.

JoanE2012

I think it's fine.  We are not inviting anyone from work.   I don't see my coworkers or boss outside of work any other time, so why should I start with my wedding?  Everyone at my company knows we are "keeping it small".

kaitlynmichelle

You can't invite your boss at this point.  Don't mention why you didn't/couldn't invite him, it would only make it awkward.  

I don't think it is a big deal you didn't invite him.

joleri23

I definitely don't think it's a big deal - I don't think anyone should ever expect an invitation, but that's my opinion. You said that you guys don't even like each other that much, so why on earth would he expect to come to your wedding? I swear, weddings just bring out the worst in people. I think you've handled this well.

em105

Nope.  Keeping the lines between your personal life and your professional life is a smart move to me.

This line is your friend, "we're keeping it very small, mostly family but are so lucky to feel loved and supported by so many people!"

jessicabessica

I don't think you made a bad move.  Yes, it's only one person, but where would he sit?  Would you feel comfortable drinking and dancing in front of him?  

I wouldn't say anything to him.  I worked in a small (although not that small) office when I got married and didn't invite anyone, but I started having some of the same feelings as you as the wedding got close.  No one asked, and I didn't say anything--I think it would have made it more awkward, looking back.

walgrrl

I was always under the impression that you should only invite coworkers if you socialize with them outside of work (I could be wrong, but this is what I was told), so I don't think you did anything wrong.

tmwishful

I think that inviting the boss is a thing of the past.  Thirty years ago when people went to work somewhere and stayed there for life, they invited the boss.  Now, people change jobs so often that it doesn't make sense.  I think you're fine.  He probably asks about it to make small talk.  I wouldn't worry as long as you're not talking about the planning, like you said.

mica178

It's not a big deal.  Unless you have a strong (positive) relationship with your boss, there's no need to invite him.  Your wedding guest list should only include your closest friends and relatives, not people from work with whom you have a tenuous relationship.

trixie549

It's fine that you didn't invite him, and you just need to let it go at this point. When making the decision about inviting coworkers, I went off the criteria that I only invited those that I socialized with outside of the office. It made it pretty easy to draw the line.

kroot87

Thanks everyone! I feel better knowing that it's NBD.