Critique my invites?

jasmineh7777

Since it's slow, care to critique my invitations before I print them?

Diane and Richard H----
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage uniting their daughter
Jasmine Cassandra
and
Christopher David ----
Saturday, the twenty-sixth of June
two thousand ten
at one-thirty in the afternoon
Church
Address
City, Montana

Response Card:

The favor of a reply is requested on or before
June 1, 2010M________________________________________

[   ] Accepts  [   ] Declines     ________Number Attending

Please list your favorite song to be included in the reception

_________________________________________

whitneykaye87

Looks good to me.  Nice and simple.

sucrets4

I think that using 'with' (in between your names) goes better with uniting, but that's just a personal preference.

sucrets4

Oh, and technically it's supposed to be 'half after one o'clock', but I doubt anyone would know that.

psichick

definetly change the "and" to either with or to.

jasmineh7777

"With" might make more sense.
The wedding is pretty casual, so "half after one" seemed a little too formal. To put things into perspective, there are no stop lights in the town we are getting married in. And, the venue will be used for the rodeo dance the week before.

ETA: Thanks ladies!

sucrets4

That's cool, you know if it fits.  You certainly don't HAVE to do anything a specific way.

AmoroAgain

Oooh Montana.  I used to handle appliance shipping for that entire state and it was a giant pain in the ass.  Montana gets the short end of the stick a lot, but they are supa nice people.  At least, the one's I worked with were.  My account manager also handled the entire state and drove the whoooooooole thing.  My lawd.

jasmineh7777

Yeah, we've got 1 million people in the entire state, yet the state is utterly huge. Which is why we get our driver's license at 15. It's pretty common to drive 50 or 60 miles for a party when you're in highschool.

ohwhynot

Very nice.  I like your response cards, too.  For some reason, though, "the marriage uniting" sounds odd to me.  Like it's redundant, or something.  Maybe it's just me, though? 

AmoroAgain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_critique-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9fc1f21d-047c-4d11-9acf-2016b80025f2Post:eddce9da-4787-438d-b55e-e8847d17fc79">Re: Critique my invites?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, we've got 1 million people in the entire state, yet the state is utterly huge. Which is why we get our driver's license at 15. It's pretty common to drive 50 or 60 miles for a party when you're in highschool.
Posted by jasmineh7777[/QUOTE]

That's kind of funny.  You tell a European that, and they'd freak.  lol

jasmineh7777

I just followed what the insert on my Target invites told me to do haha. The response cards are a combination of Amoro's and Poli's wording.

AmoroAgain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_critique-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9fc1f21d-047c-4d11-9acf-2016b80025f2Post:7000c419-c1c1-419b-b018-028af9a321e9">Re: Critique my invites?</a>:
[QUOTE]I just followed what the insert on my Target invites told me to do haha. The response cards are a combination of Amoro's and Poli's wording.
Posted by jasmineh7777[/QUOTE]

Really?  Which part is mine?

jasmineh7777

The boxes next to the Accepts and Declines.
I wanted to use your "accepts with pleasure/regret" wording, but my Mom vetoed it. Apparently, Catholics are not supposed to have a sense of humor.

And I stole the song thing from Poli.

AmoroAgain

Ahhh... I see. Well, my family has a good sense of humor, and even THEY didn't get it.

danieliza1127

I think it should be:

request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter

you
to
your FI

tenofcups4me

I don't get what the objection is to "and." You can unite x AND y, x TO y, or X WITH Y. I prefer the and, but I don't think it really makes a difference one way or the other.

The one thing that I did notice, though, was the lack of mention of the groom's parents. I know that's not customary everywhere, but I'm accustomed to seeing "son of" and groom's parents' names unless there's some real issue with those parents.

jasmineh7777

Groom doesn't know his Dad, and his Mom may or may not show up. Not that she objects to the marriage, but she is a stumbling drunk, and an all around peach.

Dani- "Of" does sound better. Thanks!
OWN, you were right about the redundancy too.

tenofcups4me

Very good reasons not to include them!

andyandhillary

ugh I wish I had noticed Poli/your "favorite song" bit before I sent mine out!  Damn!  I think the suggestions from PPs are good. 

jasmineh7777

His family is all sorts of fun lol. We can't really fault his dad though, because the man may or may not know he has a son.

jasmineh7777

Hillary, this is our way of cheating on the playlist. I have no idea what people dance to.

andyandhillary

such a good idea.  Literally sent my invites out 2 days ago.  gar. 

We have the same wedding date btw!  woot!

jasmineh7777

Are you starting to feel that crushing pressure too then? haha

Do you have a website? Maybe you could make a place for guests to leave song suggestions.

andyandhillary

I think more than anything I'm just confused as to what to do right now haha.  I just feel dazed.

That's a good idea!  Maybe a few people will utilize it and it's better than nothing.

carrieoz_76

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_critique-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9fc1f21d-047c-4d11-9acf-2016b80025f2Post:ffb7d6b0-03d3-4973-9a4a-e1264ba296dc">Re: Critique my invites?</a>:
[QUOTE]Very nice.  I like your response cards, too.  For some reason, though, "the marriage uniting" sounds odd to me.  Like it's redundant, or something.  Maybe it's just me, though? 
Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]
Yea, I agree with this.  I'd just go with marriage of Jasmine and FI.<div>
</div><div>A part of that might be me not loving the idea of uniting with someone.  I dunno, it just feels weird.</div>

jasmineh7777

"Uniting" kinda sounds like we are going to be conjoined, eh? I changed it to "to." That does sound a lot better.

jasmineh7777

"Uniting" kinda sounds like we are going to be conjoined, eh? I changed it to "to." That does sound a lot better.

nooniesinlove

I think that if you're using "honour", then you're technically supposed to use "favour" in the RSVP card.

Looks good otherwise!

carrieoz_76

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_critique-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9fc1f21d-047c-4d11-9acf-2016b80025f2Post:073efa39-d377-4c1f-ad1b-593eb619f326">Re: Critique my invites?</a>:
[QUOTE]"Uniting" kinda sounds like we are going to be conjoined, eh? I changed it to "to." That does sound a lot better.
Posted by jasmineh7777[/QUOTE]
Yup, that's what it sounded like.  With that change, I think you're good to go.