Which first: Ask old friend to do my hair, or ask for address for STD?

ravenavery

She's not a current friend -- I haven't seen her in ages. But, she's a friend from high school and college (4 years ago) and I'd like to invite her to the wedding. She's also in beauty school and I've seen some of her work, and I'd like to ask if she's interested in doing my hair (paid, of course). 

So the requests are separate -- I know she might come to the wedding but have no interest in doing hair, or she might not be interested in being a guest but like the opportunity for professional experience. Or maybe both.

My inclination is that it's nicer to be friends first, then ask about business -- ask for her address for the STD, and then broach the professional matter of hairstyling -- maybe by asking if she or any of her beauty school friends might be interested. Or can I do both in one conversation?

Thanks!

Kate61487

I think you're on the right track; of the three options I'd definitely say do NOT ask about hair and THEN invite her to the wedding, it would feel like an after thought.

Of the two options I think either would be okay; you could do both in one conversation, but don't jump right into the hair.  Call her up, catch up for a few minutes, ask for her address, tell her its for save the dates, then after you've chatted a little.... "oh hey, I know you're in beauty school, I saw some of your work and loved it.  Would you be willing to do my hair? or have a recommendation for a stylist?"

[Deleted User]

If she offers fine, but I don't think I would ask. She may feel pressured to say yes and then be afraid that if she doesn't do something right or please you entirely, then you will be mad and upset. After all, it is your wedding day and you want to look your best. I think I would leave friends and accquaintances out of the picture when it comes to services that pertain to your wedding.

Loopyseven

Would you be looking to renew your acquaintance with her if you didn't want her to do your hair?  If so, invite her to the wedding, pay a professional to do your hair.  If not, treat her like a professional and hire her to do your hair, no invite required.  Mixing of both has the potential to be awkward if it all goes horribly wrong.

AlannaF

It seems like a good idea in theory, but in practice, you might be signing yourself up for unneeded concerns.

1- Would you have asked her to your wedding even if you didn't want her to do your hair? 

2- Even if your answer to #1 is yes, do you think she will really believe that, or will feel like you're just buddying her up so you can get her to do your hair?  I know you're going to pay her and that's great, but I think she'll still wonder what your newfound friendship's motives are.

3- I learned the hard way to not mix business and family/friendship.  I had a lot of IL's that would have been offended had I not asked them to do certain parts of the wedding, yet they were the ones who dropped the ball over and over again. It was hard for me to say "Why are you two hours late with the flowers and still forgot half of them?" and "That's not what we discussed" to a relative/friend. See, I sound like a biiitch.

Are you going to find it just as easy to say to her all the things you may need to say to traditional vendor?  Such as, "that's not really what I had in mind", or if she happens to be late, screw something up, etc., how is your new friendship going to weather/handle the business aspect?

I recommend just asking her to go to your wedding as your friend, and that's it.