Thanks

emp112287

Thanks

emilykathleen511

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_having-bigger-ceremony-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a0877bb8-5405-4cb0-adc5-c0cd5e3ebefbPost:c7443a09-586b-4d55-a5cf-391fde7d347e">having a bigger ceremony and reception</a>:
[QUOTE]My husband and I were married July 7,2009 before he deployed in Nov. to Afghanistan. We're have a bigger ceremony and reception July 10, 2011.The "first" was at Angels Stadium and hour before the game in a suite. There were about 20 people. But I want all my family and friends to see it. I also feel like since we've been apart for so long that it would be a good idea to renew our vows. Now, I've been getting a lot of crap for having this "second wedding." Am I being selfish? I'm not evening going to call it a wedding. It's going to be a celebration of marriage...what do I do about those who think isn’t fair that you get to have "two weddings" or think I'm selfish? Am I? ugh.
Posted by emp112287[/QUOTE]

<div>I think as long as you are perfectly honest about it being a "vow renewal" and that all invited know that you are already married, that it is fine to host this kind of event. Anyone who doesn't want to participate doesn't have to. Just know that you are already married, so things like showers or b-parties would not be appropriate.</div><div>
</div><div>It is when a couple lies about what the celebration is where I have a problem. Good luck.</div>

twilight.rose

You get one wedding. You've had yours. I understand there was a deployment involved, but you still made a choice to get married in an intimate ceremony instead of having a large, elaborate event.

If you want to renew your vows at this stage, please do not wear a wedding dress, do bouquet/garter tosses, and other wedding-day related things.

*Edited because I apparently left an "e" out in renew.

quotequeen

what do I do about those who think isn’t fair that you get to have "two weddings" or think I'm selfish?

Accept that a lot of people are very opposed to this sort of thing.  Consider having a "welcome home" party instead.

Beachy730

I think its perfectly fine to do as long as you make it known that its a vow renewal.  Also, like a PP said, I wouldn't do things like the first dance and the garter toss, since its not your actual wedding day.  Also, are you talking like an outdoor party, or a big formal wedding reception type event?  I would expect a more low-key party if its a vow renewal. 

srkropf

No, your intentions are fine. The second wedding nonsense is when people have a small wedding with friends and family, then want another wedding so it can be bigger-- your circumstance is one that I find acceptable for a second wedding-- and thank your husband for serving!

shellydiane820

I personally find it selfish but as long as you're up front, whatever.  I wouldn't register or accept showers or anything.