Invite fail....

laurenpm

So I just got invited to a wedding...on facebook. Here is the description they give:

Wedding of ___ & ____ and Potluck Reception

We just couldn't wait any longer we are ready to be wed and we are not going to let money stand in the way of love.  We are poor on money but rich in love.  We were going to just go to the courthouse but everyone keeps saying to just go with the flow and see what happens.  So we are leaving it to friends and family, if they want to show up they can.  If they want to do something to make the day special they can.  But nothing is being asked for or required.  It's in God's hands, he knows what we need and what we don't for it to be the best day possible.  Please list which dish or item you are going to bring so we can keep track of what we still need to get.

I honestly can't believe this...there are no words.  I hardly even know these people but I just want to ask what they were thinking!! Obviously I will be RSVPing a big "No" to this one... 

princess0711

Did they invite all their facebook friends?

brilibby4

Yikes.

laurenpm

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-fail?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a192f3fc-358e-49fd-b6e0-ded761b26610Post:222ef6ce-d2fa-4d85-9735-3482a74d8576">Re: Invite fail....</a>:
[QUOTE]Did they invite all their facebook friends?
Posted by princess0711[/QUOTE]

<div>yep, sure did </div>

NcsuPsych

During my planning phase, one of my old coworkers knew that I'd been a little stressed about getting a caterer or doing it all ourselves. She was like "Have a potluck! We'll all bring something".

I guess in some areas it could be alright, but I felt extremely uncomfortable with that and thanked her for the idea, but definitely didn't take the suggestion.

As pp said, some people just don't realize how some things will be perceived.

laurenpm

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-fail?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a192f3fc-358e-49fd-b6e0-ded761b26610Post:9a4da70c-e156-4853-8fe8-da45238936f2">Re: Invite fail....</a>:
[QUOTE]Some people don't know better, which is shocking, but true. When an old co-worker of mine and I discussed wedding plans, she insisted that it was OK to include "monetary gifts accepted" on invitations and that a potluck wedding was OK. She even had 2 other women agree with her. I didn't correct her, just smiled and changed the subject. I would never do these things, but some people think this is the norm, which is weird.
Posted by SkettiHeadie[/QUOTE]

<div>Yeah, it wouldn't bother me as much if maybe I knew this girl a little better.  It was really obvious that they both just selected all of their facebook friends, which is the tackiest part IMO.  </div>

niquemel

I was fine with the wording in the beginning. I took it was "we just want to be married." But then the whole: we are leaving it to friends and family... it's in God's hands stuff. give me a break! They're basically saying: we believe that guilting all of our FB friends into doing all the work and spending all the money will get us the wonderful wedding we are entitled to. Woe is us, tis your responsibility now.
FAIL!

em01092

Oh boy. That is just really out there...*shakes head.*

beckys67

I don't get the facebook invite at all.

DeadUtopia

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-fail?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a192f3fc-358e-49fd-b6e0-ded761b26610Post:aa1fc07d-a825-4c6d-92a5-39c79c41f74a">Re: Invite fail....</a>:
[QUOTE]I was fine with the wording in the beginning. I took it was "we just want to be married." But then the whole: we are leaving it to friends and family... it's in God's hands stuff. give me a break! They're basically saying: we believe that guilting all of our FB friends into doing all the work and spending all the money will get us the wonderful wedding we are entitled to. Woe is us, tis your responsibility now. FAIL!
Posted by niquemel[/QUOTE]


I wouldn't mind a FB invite if it was just lunch after a courthouse ceremony...no pomp and circumstance, but I totally agree with this^ It is like they're guilting people into doing everything since they don't want to do anything.

theanglfac

Am I one of the only people that feel like financial security is requirement for marriage? Not everyone cay afford a big wedding, but if you are getting married you should be able to buy your friends some pizza and a subway platter to celebrate!

Sarahkayfa

Grr.....If they just wanted to be married, then they'd walk over to the courthouse, get married and then maybe go to a lovely lunch. 

Avion22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-fail?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a192f3fc-358e-49fd-b6e0-ded761b26610Post:0c008291-265c-4e59-9ac5-b7c6b4372494">Re: Invite fail....</a>:
[QUOTE]Am I one of the only people that feel like financial security is requirement for marriage? Not everyone cay afford a big wedding, but if you are getting married you should be able to buy your friends some pizza and a subway platter to celebrate!
Posted by theanglfac[/QUOTE]

Yeah, but if you invite all your facebook friends, that's a LOT of pizza:-) 

Sheesh. 

lbow1984

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-fail?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a192f3fc-358e-49fd-b6e0-ded761b26610Post:aa1fc07d-a825-4c6d-92a5-39c79c41f74a">Re: Invite fail....</a>:
[QUOTE]I was fine with the wording in the beginning. I took it was "we just want to be married." But then the whole: we are leaving it to friends and family... it's in God's hands stuff. give me a break! They're basically saying: we believe that guilting all of our FB friends into doing all the work and spending all the money will get us the wonderful wedding we are entitled to. Woe is us, tis your responsibility now. FAIL!
Posted by niquemel[/QUOTE]

I completely agree here.  What a guilt trip to put on people so you can get what you want out of it and pretend when people show up with things for you it's because they really wanted to and not b/c they felt guilty/obligated based on your facebook invite. 

Very bad etiquette...

Snippylynn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-fail?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a192f3fc-358e-49fd-b6e0-ded761b26610Post:0c008291-265c-4e59-9ac5-b7c6b4372494">Re: Invite fail....</a>:
[QUOTE]Am I one of the only people that feel like financial security is requirement for marriage? Not everyone cay afford a big wedding, but if you are getting married you should be able to buy your friends some pizza and a subway platter to celebrate!
Posted by theanglfac[/QUOTE]

You know, that's totally fine.  It really is.  If you want to get married and just have pizza and subway-- great!! 

The issue here is, that they're inviting everyone on FB (lame).  And most importantly, that they're asking their guests to essentially make/pay for their own food.  That's the issue here. 

Getting married does NOT mean you have to spend thousands of dollars.  It DOES mean that if you invite guests, you are prepared to extend a certain amount of courtesy towards them.

laurenpm

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-fail?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a192f3fc-358e-49fd-b6e0-ded761b26610Post:2a574dfe-c513-47bc-b5b8-25e207c6af90">Re: Invite fail....</a>:
[QUOTE]Epic fail.  I would message back with an equally ridiculous reason not to attend.
Posted by katelynbrian[/QUOTE]

<div>Yeah, I think I may go with "I'm so sorry I can't attend, I have to wash my hair that day...".  Any other ridiculous excuse ideas? </div>

mari0225

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-fail?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a192f3fc-358e-49fd-b6e0-ded761b26610Post:0c008291-265c-4e59-9ac5-b7c6b4372494">Re: Invite fail....</a>:
[QUOTE]Am I one of the only people that feel like financial security is requirement for marriage? Not everyone cay afford a big wedding, but if you are getting married you should be able to buy your friends some pizza and a subway platter to celebrate!
Posted by theanglfac[/QUOTE]

I think I would be okay with a facebook invite if they were just saving on invitations, and not inviting everyone on their FB list, that's just tacky, and I think they can go to publix or kroger and stock up on some platters and feed their guests.

NOLAbridealmost

I wish I could make it, but I am scheduled to run to the bank to pay another friend's mortgage that day. 

redheadfsu

This is tacky (asking all of your facebook friends to cater your wedding). I have been to some budget weddings, but this is just wrong.
 
On a practical note, who is going to organize where & when to bring the food (if people sign  up)? If they invited all facebook friends, what place has the space for several hundred people to just randomly to show up?  Plus tables, chairs, plates, alcohol, music, etc?  God?

Honestly I might just show up to see the craziness. (If I had nothing to do that day. I would just bring my own booze & a bag of chips).

laurenpm

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-fail?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a192f3fc-358e-49fd-b6e0-ded761b26610Post:a7b8890a-8fb7-4899-b06c-98f608bbc276">Re: Invite fail....</a>:
[QUOTE]This is tacky (asking all of your facebook friends to cater your wedding). I have been to some budget weddings, but this is just wrong.   On a practical note, who is going to organize where & when to bring the food (if people sign  up)? If they invited all facebook friends, what place has the space for several hundred people to just randomly to show up?  Plus tables, chairs, plates, alcohol, music, etc?  God? Honestly I might just show up to see the craziness. (If I had nothing to do that day. <strong>I would just bring my own booze & a bag of chips</strong>).
Posted by redheadfsu[/QUOTE]

<div>Haha I like that idea. Well as of now people are literally just posting on the event wall "I'll bring the potato salad" or whatever.  I have no idea about the chairs/tables...they may not have thought that far, but I do know that they are planning on having it at a local park.  This whole thing is just full of tacky...</div>

AbbeyS2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-fail?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a192f3fc-358e-49fd-b6e0-ded761b26610Post:20f93e48-7e08-4668-bc50-b5bfdd27ec58">Re: Invite fail....</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invite fail.... : Yeah, it wouldn't bother me as much if maybe I knew this girl a little better.  It was really obvious that they both just selected all of their facebook friends, which is the tackiest part IMO.  
Posted by laurenpm[/QUOTE]

I agree.  I have well over 200 FB friends, and most of them are people I grew up with and went from grade to HS with, that I run into when I visit at home or at class reunions and that type of thing.  Even if I was doing an impromptu wedding, I would not be so blantant. 

Hopefully they will put a bit more thought into it when procreating. 

AbbeyS2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-fail?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a192f3fc-358e-49fd-b6e0-ded761b26610Post:35dd8e58-d196-475b-ab90-4998ea77a2f0">Re: Invite fail....</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invite fail.... : Yeah, I think I may go with "I'm so sorry I can't attend, I have to wash my hair that day...".  Any other ridiculous excuse ideas? 
Posted by laurenpm[/QUOTE]

How about "I already scheduled a mani/pedi that day, and I just cannot miss that appointment"?

AbbeyS2011

laurenpm:  your puppy is too adorable!  Makes me want to scoop her/him up and just snuggle!

Sorry - will stop post hogging. 

laurenpm

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-fail?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a192f3fc-358e-49fd-b6e0-ded761b26610Post:f3131ca0-09d9-46b6-8868-e0bca146caa5">Re: Invite fail....</a>:
[QUOTE]laurenpm:  your puppy is too adorable!  Makes me want to scoop her/him up and just snuggle! Sorry - will stop post hogging. 
Posted by AbbeyS2011[/QUOTE]

<div>Thanks :) I think she's pretty effin cute too!  Her name is Lexi and she's a little bit bigger now but that picture of her is by far my favorite.</div>

specialk84

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-fail?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a192f3fc-358e-49fd-b6e0-ded761b26610Post:a7b8890a-8fb7-4899-b06c-98f608bbc276">Re: Invite fail....</a>:
[QUOTE]This is tacky (asking all of your facebook friends to cater your wedding). I have been to some budget weddings, but this is just wrong.   On a practical note, who is going to organize where & when to bring the food (if people sign  up)? If they invited all facebook friends, what place has the space for several hundred people to just randomly to show up?  Plus tables, chairs, plates, alcohol, music, etc?  God? Honestly I might just show up to see the craziness. (If I had nothing to do that day. <strong>I would just bring my own booze & a bag of chips).</strong>
Posted by redheadfsu[/QUOTE]

<div>I like your style.</div>

Marrin713

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-fail?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a192f3fc-358e-49fd-b6e0-ded761b26610Post:41cfbafc-61fe-4f0a-b1c2-b4bcfc608d72">Invite fail....</a>:
[QUOTE]So I just got invited to a wedding...on facebook. Here is the description they give: Wedding of ___ & ____ and Potluck Reception We just couldn't wait any longer we are ready to be wed and we are not going to let money stand in the way of love.  We are poor on money but rich in love.  We were going to just go to the courthouse but everyone keeps saying to just go with the flow and see what happens.  So we are leaving it to friends and family, if they want to show up they can.  If they want to do something to make the day special they can.  <strong>But nothing is being asked for or required. </strong> It's in God's hands, he knows what we need and what we don't for it to be the best day possible.  <strong>Please list which dish or item you are going to bring so we can keep track of what we still need to get.</strong> I honestly can't believe this...there are no words.  I hardly even know these people but I just want to ask what they were thinking!! Obviously I will be RSVPing a big "No" to this one... 
Posted by laurenpm[/QUOTE]

Then something <strong>IS</strong> being asked/required.

AbbeyS2011

Shall we takes bets on whether or not there will be a money tree there?

Or a wishing well for cash?  Thought I saw that recently on a post LOL. 

laurenpm

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-fail?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a192f3fc-358e-49fd-b6e0-ded761b26610Post:3954b9cb-249d-4e57-83b4-e8bc85470f0c">Re: Invite fail....</a>:
[QUOTE]Shall we takes bets on whether or not there will be a money tree there? Or a wishing well for cash?  Thought I saw that recently on a post LOL. 
Posted by AbbeyS2011[/QUOTE]

<div>I would not be even a little bit surprised...</div>

SilverLining1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-fail?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a192f3fc-358e-49fd-b6e0-ded761b26610Post:35dd8e58-d196-475b-ab90-4998ea77a2f0">Re: Invite fail....</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invite fail.... : Yeah, I think I may go with "I'm so sorry I can't attend, I have to wash my hair that day...".  Any other ridiculous excuse ideas? 
Posted by laurenpm[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>I just got a new matress last month and I'm still getting used to it. (I have actually heard this excuse IRL)</div>