Vow Renewal

anniepach

My husband and I had been planning a big dream wedding. However, due to my school and taking a job in a different city and having to move, we erased all those plans. We ended up eloping with immediate family and a couple of close friends in attendance, no reception. I didn't even get to wear my beautiful wedding dress We always said we were going to have a second wedding, the way we dreamed it, in a few months. BUt life happened (we both got laid off from our jobs, and we had a baby), so saving money for a wedding was just out of the quqestion. Now almost 3 years later, things are finally starting to look up, and we have talked of having the wedding we dream of. It would be more of a vow renewal.
Is it ok to go big like a wedding for a vow renewal?

anniepach

We wouldn't be asking for any gifts. It would just be a celebration with all of our family and friends, since we didn't get to have that in the beginning.

ohwhynot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vow-renewal-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a1ca62e7-7ed9-4ebc-9c0b-48f88291bb63Post:c62a696e-23f6-456d-9d4d-e3c07d9943fd">Re: Vow Renewal</a>:
[QUOTE]We wouldn't be asking for any gifts. It would just be a celebration with all of our family and friends, since we didn't get to have that in the beginning.
Posted by anniepach[/QUOTE]

Every person who plans a vow renewal on a non-milestone occasion says the same thing.   And I think it's silly. 

You're already married - what is there to "celebrate" with your family and friends?  That you've made it almost 3 years?  The celebratory occasion, imo, is over:  you're already married. 

andy71781

I think its weird. 

FutureMrsTR

Sell your dress and put the money toward an anniversary party or something.  While I still think an anniversary party for 3 years is a bit odd, it's not as off-putting as reenacting a wedding ceremony & reception at 3 years into the marriage.

[Deleted User]

Definitely a bit odd. If you have already been married three years, why not wait until at least your 5th anniversary and do a vow renewal in front of family and friends?

arv266

Could you please define "big?"   Big as in an elaborate party with lots of guest?  Or big as in all out wedding gown and attendants?   If you are thinking wedding gown and attendants, then I think it is weird.   I think it is wierd to try recreate the wedding you did not have. 

As you put it "life happened."  You didn't get the day that you dreamed of, but you're still together and you have a child.  Sometimes it doesn't matter how that first day of married life started, what really matters is the day-to-day making the marriage work.  

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

You imply you'd be wearing your wedding dress and that, IMO, is odd. I'd also wait and do a fifth anniversary party. Maybe.

georgia_bride09

I agree with my sisterwives TR and OWN.

FutureMrsTR

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vow-renewal-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a1ca62e7-7ed9-4ebc-9c0b-48f88291bb63Post:b2faea04-1eeb-412b-95b5-908407a01ccf">Vow Renewal</a>:
[QUOTE]My husband and I had been planning a big dream wedding. However, due to my school and taking a job in a different city and having to move, we erased all those plans. We ended up eloping with immediate family and a couple of close friends in attendance, no reception. I didn't even get to wear my beautiful wedding dress :( We always said we were going to have a second wedding, the way we dreamed it, in a few months. BUt life happened (we both got laid off from our jobs, and we had a baby), so saving money for a wedding was just out of the quqestion. Now almost 3 years later, things are finally starting to look up, and we have talked of having the wedding we dream of. It would be more of a vow renewal. Is it ok to go big like a wedding for a vow renewal?
Posted by anniepach[/QUOTE]

Juuuuuuuust in case.

eastunder1

I can excuse elaborate vow renewals a couple of months after the fact, because life happens sometimes.  Immigrations, deployments.  It happens.  At least then its still sort of "new" and exciting.

Three years after the fact?  I would think you were a silly girl who had an odd need for attention.  Quit living in the past.  You got married three YEARS ago.  The jig is up. 

anniepach

I sold my wedding dress a while back. It was just sitting there, so we preferred the cash. lol. I can understand everyone's points. We don't want bridesmaid or anything like that. I gues it would be an elaborate pary like somone asked afew posts ago.

MyNameIsNot

I'd probably wait until 10 or at least the 5 year mark.  But have a blow out anniversary party if you want.  Don't buy a wedding dress, but do wear a gorgeous dress.  Get your hair done.  Get a photographer if you want.  

Don't try to turn it into a wedding, just have a it be an anniversary party.  A WP would be more than a little ridiculous, but you can have someone bless or renew your vows if you want.  You can have a spotlight (but not a first) dance if you want.  You can pop champagne and dance all night.