So I told one of my close girlfriends ( or at least I thought she was) that I'm getting married next year and she was underwhelmed to say the least. She's been more excited about me buying fruit... I'm not kidding. She said that she was just tired, but happy for me. Then it started: I told her I was trying to watch my diet since my dress would need altered and could only be changed two sizes without changing my dress. Then she wanted to eat sweets! She began to make comments about how I " don't want to lose to much right?" and how she would never want to be skinny. And let me tell you something, you will NOT meet a more dedicated to getting thin person than her! Plus, I'm not anywhere near skinny or thin actually. I'm a healthy size 8 ( down from a 14!) just trying to tone up a bit and get back to my healthy weight/ size. Can't a girl live? Anyhow, while all my other girlfriends & bridesmaids kept talking about the wedding ( dresses, cake, lingerie lol) she kept trying to talk smack on a former friend of ours, and about how she thinks her BF is going to propose. That's fair, I guess. All the wedding talk can and does get annoying even to me.
But, when I asked her to be my bridesmaid she said, " I guess...if I have the money. I don't really see the big deal. I may not even have bridesmaids." I told her that we would provide a $50 giftcard to the store for gowns or shoes or if she had a wedding appropriate little black dress that would be okay. And that we are giving them crystal embellishments for their dresses as well as robes, totes and jewelry as gifts, a paid bridal luncheon and mani/pedi spa kit ALL FREE. She just ho-hummed and told me only her sister and her bf sister would be her bridesmaids. And how she didn't see where she would wear the dress again, which is TOTAl b.s. com since its a LBD! That's was the whole point of their dresses lol! I told her that she didn't need to feel obligated to be my bridesmaid ( or have me be hers) , and that my goal was to have the girls purchase gowns they could indeed wear elsewhere after the wedding ( plus we would help them pay!). I just wanted to show them how much they meant to me, and make them as much a part of my wedding as family since they are in many ways. Then she said some things about gas ( for her car), weight ( how fat she was getting, but wanted us to go to IHOP) and how she really wanted a plate of pasta ( which we ended up eating...well I ate half).
And that's all I can remember. I'm really hurt because she is one of my close girlfriends and I love her. As I said, she was ALWAYS happy for me, but now it's become a competition. While my other girlfriends are signing up for Barre classes, she's making snide comments about how my boobs will sag in my bridal bikini should I lose anymore weight. Or about how my ring is too this or too that. Or about my relationship in general ( suddenly she feels the need to have me evaluate my relationship, and it's all stupid silly fights aka dishes and toilet paper). It really hurts! My mother, and future Mother In Law ( who I adore btw) are NOT okay with her even coming near the wedding.
So my question is: Should I just invite her as a guest only? It will be weird to have her NOT be a bridesmaid since we've been friends for 4 years. But I'm not about having someone do what they don't want to do. I'm really hurt and confused. I just want everyone to be happy. But I don't want to be foolish either. I can't help but think this is the end of my friendship. Or maybe it's been a long time coming and I'm just now seeing it.
Thanks
Sorry this was so long and written so poorly. I didn't realize how bad it was until I typed it up. :-/