His family invited themselves on our honeymoon!

lcbjnh

My fiance's aunt by marriage was just diagnosed with MS and it is progressing rapidly.  My fiance's uncle, with whom my fiance is somewhat close to, doesn't want to fly out to our wedding just for the weekend since he thinks it will be too much stress on his wife. Instead, he decided that he wants to take his wife on vacation with us... on our honeymoon to be exact! On top of that, he doesn't just want to join us in the same place that we are already planning to vacation at, he wants us to change our plans and instead split a package deal with them at the resort that THEY want to go to.  Now my fiance and I feel horrible because we do really care about them and want my fiance's aunt to have a good time before she is more affected by her MS, but we don't want to share our honeymoon!

shellydiane820

Tell them sorry, you're plans are made.

PsyDet 2155

Tell them sorry, you're plans are made.  <-- this. wow...feel bad for you!

jasmineh7777

Tell the uncle that although you would love to spend time with them, you have already made your honeymoon plans. Tell them you have paid in advance.

ThePinkSuperhero

Yeah, just say you're sorry but you already have your honeymoon planned.  If they try to crash yours, just reiterate that you already have a lot planned for yourselves, so you're not sure how often you would be able to see them.

opalsky007

What Shelly said. Also, if they're concerned about just flying out for the wedding weekend but are up for a vacation, why don't you suggest that they take a long vacation in or near your town?

AmoroAgain

Heh.  I'd probably ask if he wanted family on his honeymoon when they got married?

Nebb

I would just try to say as nicely as possible that you have plans already and would like to have that time alone as newlyweds since you dont get to vacation often blablabla.

mrsamyjones

This sucks, but if it were my family I wouldnt let it happen. Sorry, FI and I are on our honeymoon. It's a very special time for just the two of us, and we plan on spending it alone.

kd.joseph

It still bothers the hell out of me that people feel like they can interject themselves into someones honeymoon. That being said  I do feel for the aunt and I'm sorry you were put in this predicament. I'd have to say your plans are already made. Good luck.

lcbjnh

Thanks for all the advice. Unfortunately he already knew we hadn't booked our plans officially yet. 

My fiance called me a bit ago and told me he had a conversation with his uncle. When he politely explained to his uncle that we were set in our plans, his uncle responded by saying "Water is water, sand is sand, you'll still be on a tropical beach with your wife so why does is matter?" My fiance stayed firm and as a result his uncle is now upset with us for being selfish! AARGH! 

Nebb

If anything HE is being selfish by imposing himself on you like that. Thats just unfair to put you in that position. I dont think anyone would begrudge a newly married couple enjoying their honeymoon ON THEIR OWN. He is being a div.

krmabojo

In all honesty, that situation sucks. You do not want to look like the bad guy.

Also in all honesty, you are going to have to tell them you are sorry but you have already made your plans and set everything up. If you change their mind and say they want to come, tell them thank you, but you both wanted to spend time togetehr on your honeymoon alone.

Maybe let them know you'll visit them afterwards?

tlv204

That sucks. I don't understand why the aunt can't travel to the wedding, but can travel to the honeymoon. Doesn't make sense to me. Ditto whoever suggested suggesting to them to take their vacation in your town.

kaesha

If you have the option, try to arrange another trip with them.

janderson

This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard!  You need to be very upfront with them that your private time together for a honeymoon is important and you will not be changing your plans.  If you are uncomfortable saying so... get FI's mom/dad or another relative to have that conversation with uncle.

And this whole business about the MS shouldn't even play a role.  It's unfortunate - but not a death sentence (I have relatives with MS) - and what does that have to do with YOUR WEDDING & HONEYMOON?

Again... completely ridiculous.

anne.azano

As I said before, I wouldn't make any excuses about not changing your plans, because then they might change their plans to come with you, meaning you'd be put in the position of saying, well actually, we don't want you to come at all.  And they'll know you lied before.  Just say it's your honeymoon and you want to be alone.  As pp said, he's probably unaware of how you feel and what a faux pas he is making because he's upset about his wife.  Maybe your FI can try to talk to him "man to man", explain why he wants to be alone with his new wife on their honeymoon, which is pretty normal!