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lilja032

k

amorg334

Just make sure that you are there for her and willing to listen when she is ready to talk.  It is a very difficult situation and you should try and express that she does need to seek help.  Without it may end up eatting away at her and it can cause a ton of issues.  It is a very difficult situation and can be hard to discuss.  Sexual assult is one of the most difficult things in life to deal with and eventually opening up will help

JaymeeLH

Having been a victim myself, the very best thing you can do for her is to just be there, be available when she is ready to talk. Never bring it up or force her to talk about it if she doesn't feel ready/comfortable. In the meantime, distract her! Go out to lunch and get all dressed up, have a girls night in and watch all your favorite movies and paint your nails. Whatever she enjoys doing, do it.

lilja032

asd

achiduck

I have a friend who was a victim of this as a child. She still struggles with it and her sexuality and so when she wants to talk, I listen to her and try my best to be there for her in whatever way she needs. When she talked about re-starting therapy I encouraged her to do so but I don't pry or ask her what she talks about during her sessions.

hmacsine

In Response to :
[QUOTE]Having been a victim myself, the very best thing you can do for her is to just be there, be available when she is ready to talk. Never bring it up or force her to talk about it if she doesn't feel ready/comfortable. In the meantime, distract her! Go out to lunch and get all dressed up, have a girls night in and watch all your favorite movies and paint your nails. Whatever she enjoys doing, do it.
Posted by JaymeeLH[/QUOTE]

I agree, I am a rape victim. I would let her know you are available to talk then leave it alone.

AllisaurusRex

I agree with Jaymee and hmacsine. I am a victim also. Make it clear that you are there for her, you don't even have to say it in so many words. Otherwise, do not address it unless she does first. If she mentions therapy, only then should you encourage her to seek it. I will go one step further to add that if she starts to exhibit signs of severe depression or self-destructiveness, then you should encourage her to seek help whether she broaches the subject first or not. Jaymee was dead on about distracting her with fun times, but be careful not to engage in activities that could become self-destructive (going out to bars or parties, etc.). My thoughts are with your friend. Good luck.

ETA: I do agree with pp that she SHOULD seek therapy, but trying to express that to her at this point will only alienate her from you. Only mention it if she brings it up.

FutureMrsMDJahnke

My mom was a rape crisis counselor, and I wouldn't push, but at least make sure she knows that they are available to talk to? Otherwise I don't really know, just be a great friend :.

saacjw

Unfortunatly, I have had several people close to me who were victims of rape. One when she was a kid- for her the best thing to do was not talk about it but stand there with her during the trial, which was extremely difficult for her. Another wanted to talk about it, for that you just listen because there's not a lot you can say. Just follow their lead and don't be different than you have been and don't treat them any differently than you have (unless they want you to). 

[Deleted User]

As a rape victim, I think the other ladies have hit the nail on the head. Even if she says she doesn't want to talk about it, sometimes things come up unexpectedly and she may want to talk then.  If she does talk to you about it, the best thing people did for me was just listen and reassure me that I could move forward and be a good person (I had the mentality that I was broken and dirty, but I was also 15.)  Give her as much normalcy as possible. Invite her to do lunch or make dinner and do a movie night.  

My thoughts are going out to your friend through this hard time in her life.

polichik

I'm a survivor

aleighk1

In Response to Re:Has anyone had someone close to them become a victim of rape?:[QUOTE]I'm a survivor Posted by polichik[/QUOTE]

like

emeejeeayen

I'm not well versed in dealing with rape survivors, but fwiw I don't think it would be a horrible idea for the two of you to do something like a kickboxing class together? If it's too fresh I could see how maybe it would bring up bad memories, but it could also be empowering. Obviously you know your friend best and what she would be up for, but excersize is a great way to boost mood and spirits and feel like you're in control of your life again, plus she'd be learning some skills that might at least take away a little bit of fear. Since she's reluctant to talk to a rape counselor, maybe there are classes geared toward women survivors. Maybe she could meet some other women who have been through what she has. Even if she doesn't talk to them at least she'd know she's not the only one, she's not alone. 

(If this is totally out of left field and a bad idea, I hope someone in this thread who is better versed will say so.)

reppunzel

As another survivor, I would echo PP's in saying be ready to just listen (don't feel like you need to give advice or help her "fix" it, etc., just be there) ... and be the friend that you've always been. In one sense, don't treat her/him any differently: have fun together, do the things you've always done, don't walk on eggshells around her, talk and laugh together as the friends that you are. At the same time, there may be activities/foods/places/whatever that she isn't interested in anymore for a huge variety of reasons, and you're accommodating that without making it a big deal will be really helpful. And be sensitive to mood swings, etc. as she copes with this and goes through her healing process ... sounds like you are thoughtfully aware of that even just in asking the question here.