Wedding Etiquette Forum

Sister-in-Law to do my hair?

I had mentioned in passing to my future mother-in-law a year ago (when I had just gotten engaged) that I might have my fiance's sister be one of my bridesmaids. Maybe it was a mistake, but I had told her that I had no concrete plans and that I was just considering it. Well, my mother-in-law told my sister-in-law that I was going to ask her to be a bridesmaid and she got all excited. She also told me that she would do my hair (at the time I had not even considered who would do my hair). Recently, however, I was talking with her and she told me that she doesn't want to be in the bridal party because she hates dressing up and being in that type of role (the primary source of my initial hesitation to include her).
She does hair for a living and has done mine several times. I think she does a good job but I only ask her to do basic stuff. I actually have a hair dresser that my entire family has been going to since I was in elementary and who I had expressed at some point that I would like her to do my hair. However, my sister-in-law thinks that she is going to do my hair. The hairstyle I have chosen is not incredibly complicated and I'm sure my sister-in-law could do it, but I think that my regular stylist could do a better job and I would feel better about it. My sisiter-in-law kind of has a "oh, whatever..." kind of attitude and my stylist is a lot more professional. However, I am conflicted because of the whole bridesmaid situation and the fact that I want to include her in my wedding somehow, just not in those ways.
Should I just let her do my hair? My mom suggested that our regular stylist do my family's hair and let my sister-in-law do mine. What is the most appropriate option here?

Re: Sister-in-Law to do my hair?

  • If you want your SIL as a BM, I'd ask her.  Tell her no pressure, but you'd love it if she stood up with you.  As for the hair thing, tell her you really want her to enjoy herself that day and not be stressed about any timeline or anything.
  • To be honest, I don't really want her to be a bridesmaid. We aren't incredibly close and I would like to keep the wedding party even. I like the idea of telling her that I want her to enjoy her day, especially because she has a 6 year old daughter and her boyfriend is coming in from CA for the wedding. She did just kind of assume that I didn't have a hair stylist, but she's thought from the beginning that she would be doing my hair. When she told me she'd do my hair it was about 18 months out from the wedding and I had no idea what I was going to do with my hair. Pretty presumptive of her, but I did just kind of go along with it (neither confirming or denying that it would happen). So it's my own fault I'm stuck here, but I appreciate the advice so far.

  • "I know you've offered to do my hair, and that's very generous of you.  But now that I've had time to think it over, I don't want you to worry about working.  I hope you will join us as a guest, so you can relax and just enjoy the day."
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  • Is she a licensed hair dresser, or she is just good at the basics?  Ask her to do a trial run sometime before making your final decision.  You said she is kind of like "eh whatever" about things like that, but you know better than I do if she would be offended if you decided to have someone else do it.  If she is willing to do it and you like how she does it, let her do it.  It will save you money and she can still be involved.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sister-law-hair?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a349c1dd-cb6b-4b56-a61d-e5d7922116f4Post:b740b291-073a-456e-afe3-4d97e7fdbfac">Re: Sister-in-Law to do my hair?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Is she a licensed hair dresser, or she is just good at the basics?  <strong>Ask her to do a trial run sometime before making your final decision.</strong>  You said she is kind of like "eh whatever" about things like that, but you know better than I do if she would be offended if you decided to have someone else do it.  If she is willing to do it and you like how she does it, let her do it.  <strong>It will save you money and she can still be involved.</strong>
    Posted by Grits8812[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>This. All of this. Have her do a practice run, if it doesn't work out... go with your stylist! </div><div>

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  • The trail run is a great idea! Thanks ladies. I think this one is solved :)
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