That's a new journalistic low

Snippylynn

CNN was just interviewing a couple who lost their son 6 days before his tour ended in Iraq, which was not very long ago (like a week or so).

I can't tell you how icked out I was to see that interview.  It semmed like they were just taking advantage of those poor people.

hlq2011

Why were they interviewing them?  Just about the death, or was it part of a larger story.  It seems kind of random.  But I agree with you.  I hate stuff like that; just let them freaking grieve.

ETA: clarity

waltzingmatilda13

Unfortunately I feel like I see interviews like that all the time. Especially on the morning news shows with relatives of people who died days before. It also kind of makes me wonder about the families who do those interviews. Do they just not realized what they are doing and regret it later or do they think they are honoring their loved one? I don't get it, on either side.

Snippylynn

Sorry!  Yeah, context would be good here.  The reportere was down at ground zero and the reporter asked their feelings for today.

And they are British.  It's all so weird.  On both sides I guess.

emilyinchile

I don't like it either, but I don't think it's particularly new.

louisvillebride21

Asses.

This is kinda cool/weird. Guy was live tweeting about the attack, even though he had no idea what was going on.

http://eu.techcrunch.com/2011/05/02/heres-the-guy-who-unwittingly-live-tweeted-the-raid-on-bin-laden/

emilyinchile

I should add, my saying that comes from personal experience when my mom died 10 years ago (local journalists trying to interview us, taking pictures of me during the memorial service). I thought it was all disgusting - write your article and honor her contributions to the community, but please stay away from my house. Other people can give you the information you need without me needing to get involved. But that's what makes news stories, I guess.

ahhhitsshannyn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thats-new-journalistic-low?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a41d2683-bfa1-4ee2-ba04-3e5f45e2635ePost:5c6e6846-ea34-42f9-ab1a-2d9b25b77177">Re: That's a new journalistic low</a>:
[QUOTE]Unfortunately I feel like I see interviews like that all the time. Especially on the morning news shows with relatives of people who died days before. <strong>It also kind of makes me wonder about the families who do those interviews.</strong> Do they just not realized what they are doing and regret it later or do they think they are honoring their loved one? I don't get it, on either side.
Posted by waltzingmatilda13[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I feel bad but this is all I think of when I see something like that. I wonder why on Earth would they want to do that, and my mind wanders to ulterior motives. But I have heard stories of people who have died in the military and no explanation is provided to the families, just "died in the line of fire," with no explanation of what they were doing or where they were, and the families go to the media with hopes of the military giving them the truth. I can understand that, but I doubt that the family would get any answers that way.

hlq2011

Matilda, I feel the same way.  I think I'd tell someone who asked for an interview so soon to get the hell out of my face.

emilyinchile

As far as the families go, when you suffer a sudden loss like that, a lot of people go into shock. For the most part they're not going to be capable making totally rational, well thought-out decisions in the same way they would on a normal day.

And of course some people just have different ideas about what they would like to share on TV.

waltzingmatilda13

Yeah, it's exactly what you said Emily, you want to grieve in private. You understand they have a job to do, but don't bother the family. That just crosses all kinds of lines, IMHO.

And ((hugs)) Emily. I'm sorry you had to go through something like that and then get hounded by journalists.

waltzingmatilda13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thats-new-journalistic-low?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a41d2683-bfa1-4ee2-ba04-3e5f45e2635ePost:83fe79dc-86ca-498e-9e3f-ca06e1508b10">Re: That's a new journalistic low</a>:
[QUOTE]As far as the families go, when you suffer a sudden loss like that, a lot of people go into shock. <strong>For the most part they're not going to be capable making totally rational, well thought-out decisions in the same way they would on a normal day. </strong>And of course some people just have different ideas about what they would like to share on TV.
Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

And that's why I said maybe they don't realized what they are doing and regret it later. I really feel bad for the people who do go TV because most of them seem in such shock they can barely form words or coherent ideas.

hlq2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thats-new-journalistic-low?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a41d2683-bfa1-4ee2-ba04-3e5f45e2635ePost:83fe79dc-86ca-498e-9e3f-ca06e1508b10">Re: That's a new journalistic low</a>:
[QUOTE]As far as the families go, when you suffer a sudden loss like that, a lot of people go into shock. For the most part they're not going to be capable making totally rational, well thought-out decisions in the same way they would on a normal day. And of course some people just have different ideas about what they would like to share on TV.
Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

I agree.  But I know that when my dad died, if someone had tried to interview me around the funeral, my knee jerk reaction wouldn't have been kind.

I honestly don't know how people can get through an interview like that.  I was crying when I called my boss to tell her I'd be out for a week.

[Deleted User]

I also hate how in these interviews they ask dumb questions like how do you feel.  "Amazing thanks for asking!  Can't wait for our holiday to  Portugal in a few weeks.  The Wedding was great huh!" 

louisvillebride21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thats-new-journalistic-low?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a41d2683-bfa1-4ee2-ba04-3e5f45e2635ePost:1d03eee2-42d8-45f1-bb0d-88b0a147f73e">Re: That's a new journalistic low</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: That's a new journalistic low : I agree.  But I know that when my dad died, if someone had tried to interview me around the funeral, my knee jerk reaction wouldn't have been kind. I honestly don't know how people can get through an interview like that.  I was crying when I called my boss to tell her I'd be out for a week.
Posted by hlq2011[/QUOTE]

Shock can do very weird things. I found my dad in our house and called 911. Since I lived out in the country, the volunteer fire department vets all of those calls. My friend was one of them and he lived right downt he street. He came speeding into my drive way and I told him "I'm sorry Joe, right now is not the best time. Can you come back later?" I didn't want to be a bother to anyone else. Of course I waas 15 and didn't have any experience with this stuff.

SD3194

I guess I view it a little differently.

My ex-fiance was killed in action in 2006. I did a couple news interviews and never felt like I was being hounded. I felt that bringing awareness to the community about his death was a way to honor him and his sacrifice. By doing that interview we had a ton of community support at the funeral and we also arranged a "support our troops" fundraiser.

I can't think of anything negative that came from the interview.

emilyinchile

Oh LVB, I was so similar. I was 16, and I had everything totally under control. Of course, that only lasted so long before it all hit me, but at first I was just totally disconnected from reality and very much on top of the situation.

hlq2011

FI had to run in to work the morning my dad died to pick up a few things; I spent the whole time cleaning my house like a crazy person.  My stepmother was supposed to come that weekend (which obviously wasn't going to happen) and all I could think about was what a mess the house was.

I was totally NOT with-it.

SD, sorry for your loss, but it's good of you to share the other side of it.

louisvillebride21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thats-new-journalistic-low?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a41d2683-bfa1-4ee2-ba04-3e5f45e2635ePost:1179e58a-69bd-45ed-9899-65aa0dd9b9d1">Re: That's a new journalistic low</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh LVB, I was so similar. I was 16, and I had everything totally under control. Of course, that only lasted so long before it all hit me, but at first I was just totally disconnected from reality and very much on top of the situation.
Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

It didn't really hit me until my adoptive parents made me break up with my loser boyfriend a couple weeks later. My dad was my ONLY family. On one hand, yes this guy was a total loser. But I'm a smart girl, I would have figured it out. On the other hand, he was all I had left of my old life (he was our next door neighbor). I felt like once they took that away from me, I had finally lost everything.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

It may seem unnecessary, but other PPs are correct in that this stuff happens all the time.

They were at Ground Zero?  They definitely were there on purpose.  And they certainly did not have to consent to an interview, they could have politely said no thank you to the reporter.  Happens to me all the time.

I've been the asshole who has to walk up to people and ask difficult questions at the direction from my news director.  I've had to ask people who just lost everything in a tornado about their experience, and where they go from here.  Sucks.  But trust me, no one talks to a reporter unless they want to.  For every time I've approached someone, two or three people have declined. 

ETA - SD, I did not know that about your ex-fiance How terrible.

Birdie1483

I hate that so many people in this thread are part of the dead parents club

::hugs::

Birdie1483

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thats-new-journalistic-low?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a41d2683-bfa1-4ee2-ba04-3e5f45e2635ePost:2c063945-7247-4a74-a2ee-b4aa8306aab4">Re: That's a new journalistic low</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess I view it a little differently. My ex-fiance was killed in action in 2006. I did a couple news interviews and never felt like I was being hounded. I felt that bringing awareness to the community about his death was a way to honor him and his sacrifice. By doing that interview we had a ton of community support at the funeral and we also arranged a "support our troops" fundraiser. I can't think of anything negative that came from the interview.
Posted by SD3194[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry :( It's great that you were able to be strong for him and honor him the way you did.

mkrupar

When my mom passed away I went with my dad to the funeral home (I was staying with him, so it was unavoidable). My mother had, many years ago, gotten a large sum of money right after going into the nursing home. The suggestion was given to plan her funeral and take her kids on a vacation. She did both.

I'm honestly glad she did because I couldn't have imagined having to make those decisions with nothing planned out. The only thing we had to decide on was what words to put on her headstone. Anything more than that and I wouldn't have been able to handle it.

If I had been asked by a reporter to do an interview I honestly don't know what i would have done. I think it's a personal decision made by those family members.

Like AATB (and other PPs) said no one has to give an interview if they don't want to.

SD3194

Thanks everyone.

I will agree that if one of my parents died from natural causes, car accident or something along those lines, I would probably decline an interview. I think that when soldiers die it gets a different type of media attention and grieving families may react differently.