Wedding Etiquette Forum
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Go ahead, ask me again

I grew up around a family of three sisters, the oldest of which is about a decade older than me.  I haven't seen her or spoken to her in literally 3 or 4 years.  She sent me a facebook message asking for my address to invite me to her wedding, and when I got it 1)my parents had had theirs for weeks, so I was obviously b-listed and 2) it said "and guest" when I have been engaged longer than her, and if she was on fb she could easily have found out FI's name.  We both work odd hours including weekends, and just couldn't justify taking time off for a wedding of someone we don't have any kind of relationship with and whose wedding will be two hours away.  I declined.

...then she sent me a message asking me to reconsider and let her know.  Um, didn't I just tell you we couldn't attend?  I'm feeling like somebody has to make a minimum guest list for her venue.  Do I seriously need to decline AGAIN?
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Previously Alaynajuliana


Re: Go ahead, ask me again

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    Man, that sucks. What an awkward position to be in! It sounds like she may have been pressured by your parents to invite you. Hopefully you find out what your guns are and you stick to them!

    Good luck!
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    "You're our early 20's BSC scarecrow. They cower at your maturity." - lennonkdc Anniversary
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    I'm sorry that you aren't close. I'm sad that she didn't pick up the phone after inviting you from freakin FB....!

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    Yea, it was handled pretty tacky. You need to decide if you ever want a relationship with her . Things change when siblings get married and start families. You may appreciate her wisdom and experience someday. Sounds like your folks are trying to help bring you two back together. Were you planning on inviting her to your wedding? You don't need to decline again but, an explanation as to why you can't attend and maybe set up another time to meet them would go a long way. Take the high road
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    Honestly, I would reconsider. I mean not attending a sibling's wedding in a serious relationship killer and has unintended consequences.

    My brother and I aren't exactly close but I invited him anyways. After everyone paid for him and his girlfriend to be in our wedding, they flaked.

    Now their relationship with my dad is strained, my Grandmother won't talk to him, and tons of other family members are upset with them and do not include them in much.

    They feel even if we aren't close, he is still the only "full" brother I have.

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    I don't think she meant that its HER sister, I read it as it was a separate family of 3 sisters that she was close with growing up, and hasn't kept in contact with the oldest of the bunch
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    Oh god, yeah you're right, a family of 3 sisters that she grew up around. Oh in that case, that way removes you from having to invite her. Let her be pissed.
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    Thanks for catching that guys, I was reading it as her sister too.  Pffffft, decline that tacky Snooki nonsense.  And you know what?  Don't answer her "are you sure?"  That's an answer enough.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    Anniversary

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    Yep you're all right she said around the family, in that case...don't worry about it and don't go!!!!
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    Crap, I didn't even realize there might be clarity issues with my post.  These forums totally makie me reconsider my writing skills when I read comments and notice how I should have written something.

    Yeah, it was just a family we were friends with.  She's being oddly pushy, and I just am not going to be able to go, and really don't want to.  Not trying to be rude or mean, but people should want their guests to want to be there.  Frankly, I would rather spend a Saturday night with FI and our brand new beagle puppy.  Who we get next Friday.  Ah! Can't wait to be a puppy mom.  [Yeah, I know, unrelated, but I am so friggin stoked to get that dog!]
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    Yay!! New puppies are the BEST. 
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    Great parenthood practice. Enjoy!
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