Bridal Party Drop Out

doledesignforce

Ok so one of my GM's dropped out and although I am not super tight with him, I am still upset.  Here are the facts:

- We are 4 months away from the wedding date
- We asked almost 6 months ago
- The reason he can't be in it is because he has to work
- Supposedly they are getting a red eye for vacation the night of our wedding, so you can get off for that but not our wedding

Am I crazy or is that absolutely unacceptable? Am I wrong for being upset?

doledesignforce

I forgot to mention the GM is my fiance's Brother in Law

BecW2be

You can be upset, but there's really nothing you can do about it. Just make like a Beatle and let it be.

wadingmoose

It's fine to be upset, but in the end you have to let people make the decisions that are right for them.  And since they're taking a red-eye flight to be AT the wedding, it would appear that it was important to them to be there, but sometimes people can't get time off during the week.

For example, my H and I have friends who invited us to Vegas for a weekend coming up.  It's the H of the other couple's birthday.  They're leaving Thursday and coming back on Monday.

My H wasn't sure if he'd be able to get the weekend off at all.  His busy season is just starting.  Luckily, he was able to get Friday off to go, but has to be back at work on Monday.  So, while it was important to us to be able to go, we're ecstatic that we're able to go at all.  H was able to get a shorter period of time off, but not the additional two days.  It happens sometimes.

Work schedules for a lot of people are like that.  Be grateful that he was able to get time off to make it to the wedding and enjoy that time with him.  And remember that being in a wedding does take a significantly greater amount of time and effort than just attending as a guest.

It isn't a personal rejection.

goheels05

I could be wrong, but I read it as he is taking a red eye and going on vacation, not going to the wedding.

katee228

My fiance and I are getting married in about 40 days. He's in the army and the wedding started getting planned when he returned from his deployment. He lived about 700 miles away, so it's difficult for his family to come in. One of his groomsmen is supposed to be coming from out of town and he hasn't looked into travelling here and hasn't even gotten his tux. I've given him 10 more days to get his act together or he's out. A guy can easily walk with two girls. It's too hard to find someone to be able to replace them so having two girls and one guy works fine.

emilyinchile

Work is a legit reason to miss your wedding. It's disappointing, sure, but it's not "unacceptable."

Also, unless your wedding starts at 10pm, I'm confused as to what the red eye has to do with things. Him not being able to get work off during the day to go to your wedding doesn't mean that he can't take an overnight flight that presumably leaves after his work day is over.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

You aren't wrong to be upset about it. You can't control how you feel. However, I wouldnt' say it is unacceptible. And FYI, there's nothing you can do about it, so just smile, say, "We'll miss you" and leave it alone.