Tracking Down RSVPs

minskat30

Hello ladies, I was hoping you could help with how to deal with this issue.  Our RSVPs were due last Friday because our florist and caterer require a final count this Friday.  We've had most people turn their cards in or have tracked them down but are looking at about 7 couples who have not.  Some responses are trickling in but they are along the lines of "save a spot or two or three for me" and then when we follow up asking for a firm number and names...radio silence.  Or "I'm coming but not sure about my wife because we aren't sure if we can get a sitter"...we tell then we understand but need a firm number...no response.

And then there are the people that just haven't responded at all.  Those people I was thinking about sending a second-follow-up note saying "We haven't heard from you so assume you can't attend the wedding.  We will miss you and look forward to catching up with you soon."  Is that ok?  What do I do about the people who semi-responded without committing?

radleyboo

I did this chasing-of-the-RVPS for my first wedding, it was a nightmare.  I won't be doing it this time.  If people don't RSVP, then I am considering them a 'no'.  For the folks who are wishy-washy about numbers, I would say plan on the number of people you originally invited to come. 
Why can't people be more courteous when it comes to a wedding and simply RSVP in an accurate and timely fashion?  ***sigh

bunni727

If it's just 7 couples, I would call one more time, mark off any that say no, then assume they are all coming.

I'd rather have too much food/seating than not enough.

minskat30

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tracking-down-rsvps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a5905b0b-d901-4be2-b1e0-21998a6aaf61Post:0ca41588-9db3-4aea-8159-946a0f941788">Re: Tracking Down RSVPs</a>:
[QUOTE]I did this chasing-of-the-RVPS for my first wedding, it was a nightmare.  I won't be doing it this time.  If people don't RSVP, then I am considering them a 'no'.  For the folks who are wishy-washy about numbers, I would say plan on the number of people you originally invited to come.  Why can't people be more courteous when it comes to a wedding and simply RSVP in an accurate and timely fashion?  ***sigh
Posted by radleyboo[/QUOTE]

Frustrating it is...and most of the non-responses are on my FI's side, which I know is hurting his feelings and I feel bad about.

minskat30

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tracking-down-rsvps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a5905b0b-d901-4be2-b1e0-21998a6aaf61Post:9b10509b-54cc-40ac-adc2-48ea8a176181">Re: Tracking Down RSVPs</a>:
[QUOTE]If it's just 7 couples, I would call one more time, mark off any that say no, then assume they are all coming. I'd rather have too much food/seating than not enough.
Posted by bunni727[/QUOTE]

Well, its more like 7 couples who may or may not bring their kids/random guests (my cousin who said to "put him down for two or three or so" is a great example).  I agree that I'd rather have too much food/seating than not enough but at 160 a plate (including rentals), I'm not sure I can just add people to our final count when that might be $1,000 to $2,500+ gone down the tubes.

radleyboo

If these are FI's friends and relatives, perhaps he should try reaching out to them?  Good luck!